What do you think?
 

Hi,
I had a long conversation with my sister today.
And she was feeding me the same stuff as the rest of our family's about moving to spain.

Why are you doing it.
How are we going to manage financially.
What about the children.
Oh you wont get on.
Loads of dodgy people in spain.
What's wrong with staying in the uk.
etc.
etc.
etc.

Then she ask's why have you decided to up stick's and give up the business etc etc etc.
To be honest i could not give her valid point's of why we want to go.
Apart from the obvious, less stress, better climate, more freedom, and as i informed her we will be worse of financially but we will be spending more time together (which to me is the most important thing)
She was horrified that we was going to leave a more financial better position and a comftable home. To live in a town house in a typical spanish area.

I think a lot of people perceive that when you say you are moving to spain you will be living on a huge villa with a swimming pool on the beach. (i wish ha ha ha :D )

I have told them that as long as we are happy does it matter that financially we will be worse off.
I have never asked any member of my family to ever help us out financially so what is there problem.

I have said many time's home is where the heart is regardless of where you live in the world.

But i just get strange looks and some massive moaning of going.

Then they make me laugh and moan how there life's are going and then that they wish they had the gut's to do something like this.

My reply to them is, i dont want to here you moan only you can change your life :)
Has anyone else had this from family's

Re: What do you think?
 

Oh yes..we got all the same and more questions on a daily basis for at least a year.
We are doing the same as you, we left a better financial situation to a poorer state of affairs.
The only problem is that it has affected us more badly than what we thought.
I do hope your dreams come true, but don't be too hard on them as they could be right in certains things.

Re: What do you think?
 

We got this every time from friends and family when we moved to various places. I think it is due is a slight amount of envy in this type of reaction with people, especially family.-don't get me wrong-it is not a nasty type of envy, just one mixed with wistful thinking that you have had the courage to go through and make your dreams reality, and are now full of excitement. potential and new horizons, when the others are left with their daily trudgery. It is always nice to think people are concerned for us, but they do not control your life-who knows, you just might inspire others to take their courage and make the change.
Finance is not everything-you will be much richer in your mind and body with a healthier and happier family life.
I wish you all the best.

Re: What do you think?
 

Its your life the quote "better to have loved and lost than never loved at all" come to my mind.
Life can change for so many reasons, and sometimes they change because of outside forces, but you have one life.
I have been labeled as leaving my child often by my mother, she shouts it at me down the phone once each week, the child she was referring to is 30 and married !!!.
We are envied and that I know for a fact because when we say the sun is shinning we get the reply NO WAY your telling fibs.
So many people would love to make the move and money isnt everything, because generally earning lots of money and living up to that cash causes stress, as long as we can feed our selves and pay the bills who cares.
You can only try it if it dont work then what the hell, you have had a go, "reach for the stars the moon is a good place to land"
good luck we are nearly a year and still loving it

Re: What do you think?
 

Look Miss Naughty ....... you obviously sat down and though this out in the beginning and made a decision based on those thoughts and considerations.

Its very easy for people around you to put doubts in your mind ....... they presumably either don't have the motivation or courage to do something different with their lives. You have, and you're going for it. Well done! Don't let the negative thoughts of those that are too entrenched in their everyday routines ruin what is a life changing event for you.

You are not moving to the end of the world. I've just booked a flight at the end of Feb for £40 return .... If you feel the need, you can pop back.

Tell em to sod off and then wait for the succession of visitations from them when you get over here :)

Re: What do you think?
 

Here Here !!!! My thoughts exactly

Go for it girl........you've gotta try it, if you don't like it, start again !

It's a big adventure......we are glad we did it and have no regrets.

Best of luck mate x

Re: What do you think?
 

I, Ian, have got little understanding from my family. I moved from the U.K. to The Netherlands, then to Spain. I still try and explain what it is like here. They either are not willing to understand or they are unable. I feel sorry for them.
Irene’s (Dutch) family on the other hand have been very supportive.

Just lead your life, make your own mistakes and good choices. Love your family, but never expect them to understand, as it will be hard to make them do so.

Re: What do you think?
 

I had a friend come out to visit and she went back and said to another friend that she couldn´t believe where we lived as she had imagined us to be in a villa in an urbanisation with lots of shops etc within walking distance to the beach. She was particularly shocked at the bins and the rubbish thrown around them. Unfortunately for the week she was here it rained every single day which didn´t help.

Re: What do you think?
 

Hi.
Just spoke to my mum and told her that i was happy.
And that what we are doing is what we feel is right for us.
So hope that got through to them which i think it has.:)

Re: What do you think?
 

Uncle Pete's agony column :eek:

well, not knowing your family I can't be specific, but a couple of things
come to mind.

It's possible that your relatives love you and don't want you to move so
far away that they'll hardly ever see you

Alternatively, by rejecting the lifestyle that they have, you may be
implicitly criticising them (and the lifestyle choices they have made).
They react to this by trying to diss. what you are doing.

Another possibility is that they are genuinely concerned that you are
making a horrendous mistake - depending on what you have told them
and what they know of you, there may be some truth in that :)

One more thing. You say that you want to spend more time together.
Joking aside, a lot of relationships thrive simply because the parties
don't see much of each other. They say that this is the time of year
when a lot of divorces happen...... One of the common reasons cited
is all the time people are forced to spend together of xmas.

How about involving your family more in your activities? Get them to
come out to spain to see the place you're moving to. They'll see that
the place isn't full of didgy characters

Best of luck with the move
Pete

Re: What do you think?
 

Hi,
Thank's for the advice, We actually dont tell either parent's anything to do with financial or anything personal.
I think it is they think we will not keep in contact, however i have told them flight's etc are sssoooo cheap and that they are welcome anytime.

I think they are scared that we wont make it, however i told them that if it goes t--s up. it will be our problem and we will have to deal with it.
After talking to them today they seem happier.

Re: What do you think?
 

i hope u do make the move and reaaly enjoy it im a builder and when i go over to spain and i just chill out with the way of life we are thinking the same as you 2 so good luck whatever you do

Re: What do you think?
 

Hi,
Where are you thinking of moving too?
We just want to take it easy and chill out for a while with our children and have some time together with out the daily grind and stress. We have said we would rather be a bit less financial and see each other.
We was poor once i am sure we will cope again. ha ha ha.
Good luck to you too, when do you think you would get out there.

Re: What do you think?
 

Miss Naughty i have read a few of your threads and it does seem that you have a lot of things going on in your head with regards to the whole issue about moving to Spain.
While i think it is healthy to question what your motives and reasons are i think there is always the danger of over analysing the whole thing.
You sound like you want to go, you sound like you are ready for a change, you sound like you are willing to accept Spain and be accepted in to Spain, and to be honest that should be that.
If people want to question your motives then let them, if they want to doubt you then again, let them fill their boots. If you end up returning after a month/ year/ decade does it really matter?
You have tried it, they haven't, and probably never will, if they did or had the courage to they would support you not knock you.
Forgive me for saying but it seems that you need to be a bit more self confident and believe a bit more in yourself, if you do then no one can shift your resolve.

Re: What do you think?
 

I agree, It was more of a general question why are other's like that?
This is why i put my thought's etc on here just to see if other's have had they same and if so what are their thought's.

We are so ready for this and sometimes i do get scared and it is normal and other's know what and how i feel as they have been through it. x

Re: What do you think?
 

I promise you it was no criticism, i have lived over there, and so did my mother and a few of my Kent based family and i have seen the ones who made it and the ones who didnt.

Re: What do you think?
 

Hi,
I did not take it like that i agree with everything you said.
Sometimes when people get on so much you doubt you are doing the right thing.
xx

Re: What do you think?
 

You know that in a couple of years you will look back and wonder what the hell all the crap was about.

Re: What do you think?
 

I hope i will.
I also hope the family will come round 100% which i am sure in time they will.
xx:)

Re: What do you think?
 

They will come round the minute it dawns on them that they have a free holiday for life, as someone else has already said.

Just have faith and dont be afraid to fail, as the Indian proverb goes

"Its not dying we should fear, but never learning to live"

Re: What do you think?
 

They are just worried about you because they love you. Be kind to them.. Eventually they'll see that you have made the right decision..

Re: What do you think?
 

Hi,

We are just back from Spain, its Paul here you have been chatting to Les about her granny who died just before Christmas, shes in work today but i am sure she will reply to your PM tonight. Your circumstances mirror ours somewhat I am winding up a succesful business and we are heading into the unknown as it were. We bought a rural property in Spain 18 months ago and have since restored a second on our land, plus bought a town house to modernise as a possible first route to an income. We have spent the last 3 weeks in Murcia with brilliant sunshine, the first week was very difficult with Les wanting to fly home, but by the third week not wanting to come home.
We will be downshifting to a slower pace of life, and take each day as it comes. We are both aware that the language and earning an income to be comfortable but not extravagant is a major factor. We are aware through our lengthy stays over the last 18 months that the first 12 months living there will be difficult.

On the whole the people are friendly and welcoming, with the exception of the younger crowd (not all) who display signs of resentment. Moving to Spain is a calculated risk if you are sensible, we have shared some of the culture over the last 18 months, and yes we have had frustrating times, but the good times outway them ten fold. Spain is moving so fast now, we live in a rural setting in pine clad mountains, yet we are 35 mins from Murcia city, with its 2 new massive retail parks, surpassing anything ive seen in the UK, a new international airport, and a new Euro disney in the pipe line and some of the best all year round weather in Spain.

I am sure that families come round to the idea eventually, with skype on your PC you can chat to a UK landline from your PC for peanuts, so no probs keeping up with things. I am sure most people are aware that they will experience a roller coaster ride of emotions and problems in Spain, but if you intergrate into local life, things will be a lot easier, we have learned more Spanish from our neighbour than any book. The Last 18 months has been a major learning curve for us, and sites like this are invaluable. The easiest way to get ahead in Spain is learn as much spanish as you can before you go. If you have SKY watch TVEi on channel 802 look out for Espania Directa after teatime and Gente after, have a dictionary ready and work on the subtitle headlines its great.

Best of Luck,

Paul and Les

Re: What do you think?
 

Hi,
I am glad thing's are working out for you and les.
I think with our family's it is a case of them worrying about the children and if thing's go wrong.
And also years back financially we got in to trouble since then hubby started his own business and we have a very good income in the uk.
And they know our business in now winding down and are struggling to come to term's with why we want to lose this.
I can understand the way they feel with the children and worrying.
But like we say we want to do this and we will give it 100% of making the girls and our lives comftable.
Say hi to les for me.
Take care xx:)

Re: What do you think?
 

The thing is, if you don't do it now, you will always wonder if you should have. We have no concerns, and really had none about coming out, just a big step, but all family knew and no-one made any objections, and, yes they have been out, first lot 2 months after we arrived, and then were surprised when we didn't know where all the outlet shops were as they specifically wanted a Steven Gerrard Liverpool strip, IN SPAIN!!!!!:scared: Wife's son and family have been out twice, and are already booked for later this year. They actually stay in apartments we find through our contacts here as we have only a 2 bed place, much easier to find that sort of accomodation out here as you can find places not available on line etc. Only people I've known who have gone home are those who came out, knowing NO Spanish, expecting to get a job straight away and had no money to keep themselves till they did.