WitsEnd

So to summarise the situation, my current partner has a S.American ex who he broke up with 6 years ago. This was a long relationship (6years) and she already had 3 children, he didn't want any more they split up...tried again..split 2 weeks later and low and behold a baby appears.

But the relationship wasn't meant to be...the guy has paid child support under a gentleman's agreement every month since, paid for the family's expenses for over 6months after so they could get Spanish passports (ironic now!) and gave her money for a house in her native country...a total of 150,000euros over the years.

Since the break up, he has constantly been blackmailed for money saying that they baby is dying (a lie), she was ill, and more lies playing on the most fundamental of emotions. When he stopped believing her she turned nasty. Telling his friends that he neglects his child. Threatening to put posters up saying 'Daddy, why don't you care?' with the child's picture. Staking out his parents house/village, or the boat he works on, emailing his colleagues...


Well you get the picture.
Now she has used her Spanish passport (that he helped her with) and brought on a case of verbal abuse..not something any man would laugh about in Spain.

There is one rude text message sent after dozens of attempted phone calls and now it looks like my partner is going to get stuffed by the system.
The psychological stress it has caused him, his family and myself is unbelievable...we tried playing by the system to officially sort the money he pays...then get whacked with this...feel like there is no way out....he honestly is the kindest and most generous man I've ever met. We've been together for 3 years and he has only ever shown these qualities and has previously helped this woman to an almost foolish extent...but that's how he is.

Does anyone have any advice? Know of any astute lawyers that can help play the system so it brings some justice? We are being bled dry and punished...I honestly think the woman has mental issues...her lawyer even admitted to his lawyer that the obsession she has seen is frightening and the energy she has for torturing her ex is unrivalled.

Help!

mikelincs

A bit more info might help, are you in Spain at the moment, what are your nationalities, as a move to another country might help, but you really need the help of a lawyer, so a whereabouts you are in Spain might well help people to make recommendations.

WitsEnd

So he is British and she is Chilean, there relationship was in Spain...she has brought the case up through the Spanish system in Mallorca. He now lived in the UK and she has moved to a Scandinavian country - complex!

WitsEnd

Thanks for the welcome

rspltd

I think your situation is too complex to offer any advice here. However, at first glance some of the facts would appear to be :
Your new partner had had a child with a South American. He has been paying child maintenance - does he intend to continue paying it? He is living in the UK , she is in Scandinavia and has brought a case of abuse against him in the Spanish courts. Unless he wants to return to Spain is that necessarily a problem? The Spanish legal system seems to work at a snail's pace at the best of times and this would be a civil case, would it not? Too many unknowns and too complex for here I suspect.

Rosemary

As Concierge for the Spanish section of BE I would like to say hello and welcome.

BE is a very large expat website, so if you have problems finding your way around we have concierges who will try to direct you. The moderators for the Spanish forums are Mitzyboy and Fred James, moderators are there to ensure that the site runs smoothly within the rules of BE. Problems and complaints should always be addressed to a moderador who will look into the matter and deal with it efficiently and fairly. Our members who post in the Spain Forums are friendly and helpful with a wealth of knowledge of the issues of living in Spain. At the top of the page you will find a quirkily named thread called Free Beer which is full of important and useful information. Hope you enjoy your time participating in the forums.

Please let me know if you need any further help.

Rosemary

guirijohn

If it is any help there is a Spanish lawyer working in London experienced in international family matters. I know of her because she has just obtained the first ever agreement by a court in Russia to award custody of children to a mother living outside Russia.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-25025890

http://www.dawsoncornwell.com/en/about_cmp.html

Whether there is a legal solution to your case I do not know, but perhaps this lady will be able to advise you.

WitsEnd

Thanks everyone - think the lawyer suggested by guirijohn could be particularly useful...basically need a way to stop getting stuffed and it is so hard to work in a system that is not in your own language and seems set against a man in this sort of case...no matter what the situation. And, as you said rspltd, the system can be infuriatingly slow!

As for the situation, he definitely intends to continue paying child support (100% takes responsibility, no matter the surrounding mess) but we would both like to know of anyways we could protect ourselves...from what I understand, the Spanish system does not have anything that would be equivalent to the UK laws of harassment or stalking (as would be appropriate here) and any complaint would essentially put her down as a nuisance - quite the understatement!

Anyone have any experience with trying to get restraining orders etc?
No idea if the UK system could even be used in a case such as this!

Thanks Rosemary for the intro, very useful on a site as large as this

gill556

Try doing a search for citizens advice spain, lots of free legal advice on there from qualified lawyers and you can ask questions