brisca

I'm wondering whether this is just peculiar to where we live, or whether it's a Spanish trait??

People here are very straight talking, and really do say it how it is!
There never seems to be any malice attached to the statement; just matter of fact.
Sometimes I'm a bit taken aback by people's directness, but actually I fnd it really refreshing and honest - and find I'm quite in awe of this way of being.

A couple of examples:

When expressing condolences to people about the death of a relative (including to someone about their parent)
"Well, they were old - so that's normal!"

When discerning between one person called "Maria" and another:
"You know, the fat one" or "the one who limps" or "the blind one!"

Yesterday, talking about how gorgeous a little 9 month old boy was:
"Yes, a very ugly mother, but a gorgeous child!!"

Obviously my face gave away my astonishment at this directness, and the young woman I was talking to just said "Well, there are beautiful people in the world, and there are ugly ones. She's one of the ugly ones!"

Like I said, I've never heard a hint of unkindness in these expressions (other than anything I've perceived)
Has anyone else experienced this very matter of fact way of being, where they live?
If so, do you think that people's strong religious beliefs play a part in making it "easier" to accept facts of life and death?
Or have we all gone so "soft" in the UK, that we're afraid to say what we really think for fear of upsetting someone!?

We've been on the receiving end of a couple of comments too!
"You're fatter than when you left to visit England!" (True!)

"You're very open; your O/H is much quieter and doesn't go out much" (Also true)

And this was the awful one (when our dog was really poorly, and I couldn't find a Vet for love nor money )
"What are you crying for? She's only a dog! If she dies, get another one!
Cry about something happening to Keith; but not a dog!"

Believe me, I could have punched that bloke's lights out that day!!

Just thought it might be an interesting topic to debate!

XTreme

They spend all day talking about Brits then Sam?

anabella

We tend to speak our minds and feel that it's ok to say what we are thinking as long as it's true.. It got me in trouble often in England ..

leighbloke

I'm guessing here Keith is a human? and not your pet Chinchilla, maybe Keith is even your Husband?? I agree with the persons sentiments wholeheartedly, it's an animal, if it dies, either sell any food you have left over on E-Bay or buy another.

As to the general "directness" - refreshing IMO.

Arco-Iris

Personally, I find the speaking of their truth a very refreshing trait of Mediterranean people. Amongst the English (maybe apart from folks in the North), there seems to be a culture of saying what they think the other person wants to hear, or disguising their feelings as a joke (which they then say "only joking" if someone gets offended).

silverchick

You horrid man!! Pets are part of a family, although i didn't feel as much sadness about my sons pet rat dying, when my lovely ginger cat died prematurely (hit by a car) I cried for days, he been around for longer than any men in my life!!
If anything happened to our dogs I would be very sad , they are animals and I'm not as soppy as some are over their pets but i am very fond of them.
I'm surprised at your callousness Leighbloke!!

leighbloke

Ouch! That hurts more than you realise.
I'm not a pet type of person - other than when we did the hamster/goldfish thing for our son. But honestly I feel no connection with animals, and struggle to understand how attached others get, I don't believe that makes me a bad person or horrid in any way.
The OP was comparing her feelings for her dog with those for "Keith" and it seemed to me the Dog was coming out on top - Assuming still that Keith is her life partner and maybe father of her children, Is that right? IMO it is not?

silverchick

No, you've misunderstood me, I can understand people not having any sort of affinity with animals, it was just the bit you said about 'if it dies get a new one or put its food on ebay'!!Thats what I meant was horrid!!
Oooh hope i've not upset you!! you know I wouldn't like to do that!!

silverchick

Mind you, given th choice of my handsome Angus(Chocciel ab in my gallery .) or H.G sharing my bed, sometimes the former is preferable, he doesn't fart as much, doesn't hog the covers, his breath is nicer in the mornings and he'll gladly lick me awake

XTreme

The more people you meet in life.....the more you appreciate the qualities that dogs possess.

leighbloke

Well that bit probably was uncalled for

leighbloke

You're meeting the wrong people!!

Rosemary

Know what you mean Sam.

Last year when we moved here permanently I asked how one of the neighbours was because I had not seen her and the 84 year old across the road took me to see her. She had just had an operation and looked terrible, my old dear said that it was very bad and said that she was dying. Then turned to the poor womans husband who is pretty crippled up and said he is not ill but she is very ill. I did not know what to say and did not know where to look. By the way the sick woman is still with us and althouth she is in a wheelchair she is looking much better.

Then again the same old dear told us three years ago that we would not see her husband when we returned because he was dying, he is also still with us.

Although my husband is from Yorkshire and is used to people talking straight he is astounded by the way she talks in front of people in this way.

Rosemary

Hillybilly

...whereas you're clearly meeting the wrong dogs!

leighbloke

You've seen the women round here then!!

No, I really have nothing against dogs, I simply struggle to appreciate the extent to which many people get attached to them?