Quadrilla
 

Hi,
I was interested to read featherbum's comment on "quadrillas", referring to Basque friendship circles (or squares:unsure:) This got me thinking...
A quadrilla is not a new concept, nor is it unique to Basque people, surely?
Meeting new friends happens whenever we change paths on our journey through life (a bit heavy, but bear with me). The making of new friends can be difficult, as you have to find a common interest which you can share. The keeping of friendships part of a relationship is even harder with time and distance playing a part. Perhaps this is why people, who can look objectively at their own life so far, might say "I have only 1 or 2 close friends"? Is this the true meaning of "quadrilla"?
So, how to meet friends? As mentioned beforehand, activity groups: choirs, senderismo, winetasting groups, and, yes, even football!
Volunteer your skills to youth groups or "third age" groups. The age in the middle can sometimes appear to be so preoccupied with their own lives!
Get out and look around. Look for what you (or both of you) find interesting - someone else is bound to be doing the same!
(Spend less time on the computer!:thumbup:)
Just my thoughts...

Re: Quadrilla
 

I agree with that, everybody must be able to find new friends if they try hard enough. ;-)

Re: Quadrilla
 

I know a few Spanish that have lived in the UK and returned to Spain, they are really nice people in general but they all do the same thing... they will defend their own but they also look down on their own country folk at the same time. Bloody Spanish this and bloody Spanish that, I think they become 'Britishafied' (if the word existed), expecting everything now, expecting people to turn up when they say and at times expecting please and thank you (I enjoy people watching :ohmy:). They tend make friends very quickly with British tourists, the fact they speak fairly good English is probably an advantage there but I think it is because they can relate much more easily to the British after living there and have a little annoyance at the seemingly backward ways of their country folk... you could say they have forgot their cultural roots and/or maybe forgotten what the Spanish have learned over all these generations (a lot of Spanish do the same)... depends on how you look at it I guess. :)

I think you have to remember that the Spanish are generally a very simple laid back race, the younger ones like the technology and the things that a period of good economy has brought them and so they like what they see and have in many cases (although the taste of economic freedom makes them want more), they are still a relatively simple race of people (simple as in needs) and so still have basic interests at heart.

I myself can't really see why some people if friendly and respectful would not be able to make friends (I am not saying featherbum and her OH are not friendly). I have travelled a fair bit in Spain and found the people in the North (featherbum country) and South East (Catalans) to be very friendly and helpful, in saying this I am not living in those areas, I have only visited although I have worked there with people from the same and I have found them to be great.

I remember some of my Andalucian friends talking about how cold the Catalans are and yet I have found them to be some of the most helpful, warm and friendly people I have met in this country. BTW, in saying this about the Catalans I actually have difficulty in understanding how a people who are so friendly are so anti anyone who doesn't speak their language in the 'permanent' work sector as I never came across this but then of course that could be a political thing injected by the governing party.

Maybe featherbum, you could start a cuadrilla of the people who are more open and let anyone else in who wanted :) Funny I think the cuadrilla thing can exist anywhere here and possibly even in the UK, I remember I used to work for several companies on the coast at times, when the work was done we would all go for a beer. As the evening went on the permanent workers (English and Spanish) from the company would tend to go into a little group off to the side of the 'temp' workers, you seemed to get the feeling that when you approached 'you sensed' you where moving into someone elses territory... I guess we are all just animals at heart :D

This post has no criticisms only observations. :)

Re: Cuadrilla
 

Thanks for your replies and thoughts on "Cuadrillas" (I had "anglified":) the word!)
Cuadrillas are perhaps a rare thing nowadays? I was thinking about my small group (2) of school pals from decades past, happily still alive & kicking. We know where each other is, but we are not in direct contact through distance. Our lives have travelled down long and far flung paths, yet we can make contact and pick up where we left off in conversation as if time had never happened.
What with people working/settling in different cities or countries, a person with a cuadrilla all living in the same area is a lucky person, IMO.
I was going to say that a cuadrilla is like a family, but in families, you can add members. A cuadrilla is different in that it is created by one common event in time (e.g. schooldays).
Can a person have more than one cuadrilla?

Re: Quadrilla
 

Hi guys, this seems like a nice, trouble free thread so far so i'd like to join and hope the trouble makers will stay away:thumbdown: You guys raised really interesting subjects here, and will quote you both separately to not miss anything as i have a memory like a sieve;)

No i dont think a cuadrilla is a new concept, by cuadrilla i mean a set group of mates that meet regularly so i am sure this happens everyhwere.
It just seems to me, by what we have been told by our basque pupils, that here the cuadrillas are more 'exclusive' to call it somehow, ie the members of the cuadrilla dont seem keen to have new members.

You made an interesting and very true point between the differences of meeting, making and keeping friends and i totally agree with you. As for having true friends i am sure we can all count them with one hand.

Re: Quadrilla
 

Hi Econ, very interesting post here, i enjoyed reading it.

I think your people watching skills are excellent as i identified myself with your first paragraph :D I can become rather frustrated with the whole please- thank you-lack of customer service thing :lol: whereas before moving to the uk i didnt even notice it. I sometimes get annoyed with people's loudness when they talk etc etc, no need to go on really. The only different thing is that we havent befriended any brits here, probably cause we havent met any tho ;)


Regarding your comment i highlighted in red, i totally agree with you. I find it really strange. And yes we are really friendly, i think!:o We just found it easier to make friends in the uk, and had a nice circle of friends.

I never said that all basque people are not friendly (if i did i explained myself wrong and i apologise), we have met nice people here, but they just seem to not wanna take things further if you get what i mean, as i am guessing they have their cuadrilla thing sorted out and are happy and settled with it? just a guess.
Also, to be honest, a lot of the time i dont find i have that much in common with people we meet, and again i am guessing, this could be because of the 'britishafied' thing you mentioned? I was reading about this thing called reverse culture shock, guess i have a bit of that!:unsure: (again this also relates to the first paragrah of your post).

A lot of the things i have said before are things that the basque people themselves have told me (in that billy no mates part 2 thread that ended in disaster) all i was doing was quoting, none of it was my personal experience or opinion).

Thank you for our tips on meeting new people, i think its a case of time, i dont think friendships are something you can look for, it kind of happens (just like boyfriends, or buses:D) and we are ok really lol, i have a lovely husband:wub:, family, and we do know a couple of people round here, my purpose on billy no mates part 1 and 2 was mainly to exchange experiences and find out a bit about another areas, purely out of curiosity.

Now i'd really appreciate it if the trouble makers stay away from here, as i think this is an interesting subject for a discussion.

Re: Quadrilla
 

You are absolutely right there FB. I met one of my greatest friends when I came back from an extended holiday to find out she´d been going out with my boyfriend. He´s long gone, but she isn´t. Also I was the girl that was never going to get married, great job, home of my own, independence, you know what I mean. Then, at my 31st birthday party, this bloke came in and that was it, bam!! and we´ve beem married for a long time now.

Getting back to the Quadrilla. All of my closest friends I have known for many, many years (I won´t disclose how many). All of us live in different countries but we are still close and communicate frequently. I´m still making new friends but they won´t be the same kind of friends as those I have known for a long time. People come and people go so, when you finally make friends, don´t look upon them, necessarily, as life long buddies because, who knows where life will take you?

You sound like a really nice person and, I´m sure, you will find some mates somewhere, it may just take a little time.:thumbup:

JJ

Re: Quadrilla
 

It almost feels like we should keep our heads down & not allow the thread to look too popular, so no-one butts in!
Anyway, I don't think it's going back over the old ground of Carol&John's observations about meeting, making & keeping friends to raise the speculative question 'what is a friend'. I think it's both relevant to this thread, (or at least directly to FB's late lamented earlier one !) because it's none too difficult to meet people & be acquainted, ie become acquaintances, whether English, Spanish, other origin, whatever. Taking it to greater frequency that permits better understanding, exchanged experiences, humour, etc., is a whole different ballgame in my view. ... And also a subject for ponder on its own merits. What is a friend? How the heck do you define it or can't you? And is a true friend ever lost for whatever reason? That last being a bit raw for me because due to an incident during the breakup of my marriage my then best friend & I became estranged & haven't spoken since - I can't bring myself to contact her because once a trust is broken I find it irretrievable. But maybe that's me. And it's definitely waffling!
Language is surely an issue for those of us overseas and not bilingual - the intricacies and nuances of quick, everyday repartee and the subtleties of British wit & humour are nigh on impossible to replicate if you're anything less than totally conversational in Spanish (or whatever).

One final point, someone I know said one one of our earlier meetings, why be friends with a Brit in Spain if they're not the sort of person you'd be friends with in the UK?

Re: Quadrilla
 

That has happened to me too Fiona and it´s very sad, but what can we do? We can´t lose sleep over it or it would drive us mad. I´ve lost what I thought were really good friends because they did me an injustice.

Getting back to the post - FB is bilingual and a Basque so, surely, she must, hopefully, be able to find mates somewhere in her neighbourhood. I certainly hope so.

I hope´ those others ´don´t hijack his thread because it might help FB

Re: Quadrilla
 

thanks ladies for your replies:)
this thread is nice and calm isnt it!

i was thinking about what fiona said

One final point, someone I know said one one of our earlier meetings, why be friends with a Brit in Spain if they're not the sort of person you'd be friends with in the UK?

That's a very interesting point, and it got me thinking, that, independent of their nationality, most of the people i have met here even though they were nice, they wouldnt be the kind of people i would have been friends in the uk with, therefore why would i be friends with them here (this is if i was allowed in the damn cuadrilla that is :rofl::rofl:).


Mejor sola que mal acompan~ada :lol: (sorry cant do the n~ thing).

Re: Quadrilla
 

Hi again,
I confess that I googled cuadrilla, and came up with one or two points:
1. cuadrilla = drinking mates who share an understanding of the refrain "y...un ingles vino a Bilbao-o";)
2. cuadrilla = a sociologically complex Basque network of childhood friends that helps explain who they are as an ethnic group, and, ultimately, who a person is as an individual. If I understood it correctly, a cuadrilla can act as a buffer between an individual and family. "You can choose your friends, but not your family." Hmm, err...the word "gang" appears to fit, yet not in a negative way?

"Dime con quien andas y te dire quien eres",said a wise person (who couldn't type in the accents!)

Oh! What the heck! LOL
Buenas noches:)

Re: Quadrilla
 

Have a look in the free beer. :p:p

Re: Quadrilla
 

I think here´s where the usual expat situation has been explained to perfection. When we arrive in a strange country we are looked upon as the "temp workers". Meaning that the regular workers (inmates?:blink:) expect that we will leave again eventually. So why bother making friends with the temps/expats?

Re: Quadrilla
 

Where are you hiding this one?lol It's like being at the opticians!:blink:


Further to the above posts, keep in mind that some folk haven't travelled beyond their own city/town/village.
Someone may have been born in the same village, but, once they move away, and then return, jolin!, they have grown a new set of horns, or two heads...
Any thoughts?

Re: Quadrilla