poollounger

Following on from the things we hate about Britain . Many of the replies were about yob behaviour, decline in manners etc.
I have often discussed the difference between manners and etiquette. Etiquette changes with the times....real manners stay constant. Etiquette is purely a class related thing. Manners are what contribute to a so called civilised society.
For example....Does anyone really care about fish knives anymore?? Or walking on the outside of a woman on the street ? Always giving your seat up for a lady ?? Pouring the tea before the milk ?? All banal supeficial issues.
Manners are about introducing the people you are with when you meet a person who doesn't know them. Giving up a seat for any person who may need it more than you do. Treating people who do jobs more menial than yours with respect. I was shocked to hear an acquaintance say that she would never consider chatting to a cleaner or supermarket checkout operator.
Appreciating and learning to accept other peoples customs and not impose our own...

rugbymatt

You are trying to raise the intellectual level of BE aren't you Aqua......sorry Poolounger??

poollounger

LOL...... see my post re alfresco sex in the things you love and hate thread. I nearly started a separate thread......SEX.....difference in attitudes between Britain and Spain, but as kids do sometimes view this site, I thoiught JDR might pull it....again...they probably know as much as we do already, if not more .....

Jondee

A very good definition of manners that poollounger. Karma sent (only just noticed the Karma thing, wandered why everyone was talking about karma, thought you were all hippies)

When in a shop I would expect the assistant to acknowledge me with a smile and anything else is of no relevance, please and thank you are just words, its the smile that says it all. in Spain this is more apparent in the language and culture. Please and thank you is often inferred in their voice, without the need to say it. If I get served by a miserable person who wont even give me eye contact then It winds me up, I just become even more polite to them and smile at them with my biggest smile, to the point of sarcasm, for all I no they aint smiling coz their loved one died yesterday and they cant afford to have time off work.

The thing that winds me up is, and I dont know if this is just a Tesco thing, but every cashier has to say "do you want help with your packing". and i have just bought a tin of beans and a loaf of bread! "Do I look like I need help?" is what I feel like saying, but they are ordered to say it and most just feel stupid when they do, so why should I make their day even harder. Bless em!


I did say to one young Tesco lad when he asked me that question. "I bet your sick of asking everyone that", and he said he once served a lady and he forgot to ask if she wanted help packing, so she went to customer services and made a complaint!

how very rude of that woman!:curse:

Lochy

Or have you ever heard anyone answering the phone in a chain shop? No emotion, like computers so the words are totally meanginless. "Thank you for calling Tesco. My name is xxx. How may I help you?".

Mitzyboy

I remember when we started going to the States years ago I thought how "plasticky" the manners & politeness were "Have a nice day, is everything OK with your meal" twelve times "My names mandy I'll be your waitress tonight" etc etc.
Well thats how its been progressing in the UK. Everyone says it, but you can tell they don't really mean it. I'd rather they didn't say it if its just being read off a crib sheet.

In Spain my experience is that although they don't say please and thank you, a genuine smile does it for me. And yes, I realise this isn't the same all over Spain.

rugbymatt

Its funny, but for all their gruff behavior the Spanish still manage to provide a quality service when in a service industry.
The waiter at the marina in Palma was an arse, he used to huff if he had to wait for you to decide, he used to say, call me when you have decided, but man, when that place was wall to wall people, he was the only one who ran about 20 tables and he never forgot a damned thing!!

glad 2 b back

That's the problem that I've noticed it the customers that are rude and downright rude in England. Not all but I've worked in retail for years and if I can help it won't do it again. :curse: I'm always friendly to customers but they are not friendly back, it was part of my job to offer store cards, not something I wanted to do as I don't like getting people into debt, but something I had to do as it was part of my job only to ge abuse for bloody asking:curse:

Anyway rant over.

Shop assistants manners in UK 98% Spain 2%

Don't know about customers as never worked in retail in Spain.

Road etiquette in Spain 0% 80% UK

Manners V etiquette UK 100% Spain 0%

glad 2 b back

Do you expect them to greet you personally?

It's better than simple: SI

Mitzyboy

Yes, but if you don't understand that in Spain people just don't say please and thank you then I can understand your figures. But it doesn't mean they are being rude, its just the culture over here.
If you apply British values to Spanish life then you are, without doubt, well and truly lost!

Lochy

I'd take the "Si" and would prefer someone to simply say "Hello". Take sincerity every time, even if it's a little rough around the edges.

Mitzyboy

Dunno how its spelled, but they say "degame" (pronounced daygamay) when they answer the phone ... what does that mean?

glad 2 b back

"tell me" seemingly, our solicitor used to say all the time, in his very loud american accent speaking english "TELL ME" basically whatdoyawant.

Mitzyboy

ahh so its dega mi ?

Lochy

Although that trabslation doesn't do it justice. Literally translated that's correct, but it's just a standard way to answer the phone.