The joy of visitors...
Sep 21st 2007, 8:29 am
#1
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: España
Posts: 728
The joy of visitors...
They came, they saw, they used up all our loo roll...
They came to us from England,
That green and pleasant land.
They came to stay for just one week,
But it wasn't what we'd planned.
We imagined it would be great fun,
Having friends with us to stay,
We wanted to spend some quality time,
They came for a free holiday!
And that's how the trouble started,
No matter how we'd try,
When things at Hotel Twyntub,
Just seemed to go awry.
They'd moan about the semi-skimmed,
They complained about the tea,
They even tutted at the rain,
But it rains in Spain, you see.
The frequent sudden power cuts,
Really made them sad,
And the distance we were from the beach,
Got them really hoping mad.
The lack of local pubs and clubs,
And no English TV,
Their mobile phones just wouldn't work,
We're in the mountains don't you see?
What do you mean you've got no landline?
And the shops here shut at two?
And Tesco don't deliver here?
What shopping can you do?
And the people just won't speak to us...
Except in Spanish, oh my lord!
We shout at them as best we can,
But seem to get ignored!
Yet my wife and I kept quiet,
We just kept out the way,
Cleaning up their sandy mess,
Changing bath towels every day.
We coped with no hot water,
When they'd used it for a bath,
For the 2nd or 3rd time that day,
We just had to laugh
When they ate up all our chocolate,
Yet the wrappers missed the bin,
Or when they opened all the windows,
And let the mossies in!
Hang on, they've offered to take us out!
By way of "thankyou" saying.
So why is it after a great big feast,
It's us that ends up paying!
Alas, they've got to go back home,
Their flight leaves at half past eight,
Another day to cope with them,
But tonight we celebrate!
They say they've had a lovely time,
Enjoying each and every day,
But they much prefer their home comforts,
Back in the UK.
Well go back to bloody England!
You've really been a pain!
Forget the creature comforts,
We prefer life here in Spain!
We may not have the latest car,
Or a council house TV,
We're too busy spending quality time,
As a happy family.
They came to us from England,
That green and pleasant land.
They came to stay for just one week,
But it wasn't what we'd planned.
We imagined it would be great fun,
Having friends with us to stay,
We wanted to spend some quality time,
They came for a free holiday!
And that's how the trouble started,
No matter how we'd try,
When things at Hotel Twyntub,
Just seemed to go awry.
They'd moan about the semi-skimmed,
They complained about the tea,
They even tutted at the rain,
But it rains in Spain, you see.
The frequent sudden power cuts,
Really made them sad,
And the distance we were from the beach,
Got them really hoping mad.
The lack of local pubs and clubs,
And no English TV,
Their mobile phones just wouldn't work,
We're in the mountains don't you see?
What do you mean you've got no landline?
And the shops here shut at two?
And Tesco don't deliver here?
What shopping can you do?
And the people just won't speak to us...
Except in Spanish, oh my lord!
We shout at them as best we can,
But seem to get ignored!
Yet my wife and I kept quiet,
We just kept out the way,
Cleaning up their sandy mess,
Changing bath towels every day.
We coped with no hot water,
When they'd used it for a bath,
For the 2nd or 3rd time that day,
We just had to laugh
When they ate up all our chocolate,
Yet the wrappers missed the bin,
Or when they opened all the windows,
And let the mossies in!
Hang on, they've offered to take us out!
By way of "thankyou" saying.
So why is it after a great big feast,
It's us that ends up paying!
Alas, they've got to go back home,
Their flight leaves at half past eight,
Another day to cope with them,
But tonight we celebrate!
They say they've had a lovely time,
Enjoying each and every day,
But they much prefer their home comforts,
Back in the UK.
Well go back to bloody England!
You've really been a pain!
Forget the creature comforts,
We prefer life here in Spain!
We may not have the latest car,
Or a council house TV,
We're too busy spending quality time,
As a happy family.
Sep 21st 2007, 8:40 am
#2
Senior Moment
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: On the edge
Posts: 20,460
Re: The joy of visitors...
And I'm afraid that can be so true!
Sep 21st 2007, 8:46 am
#3
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Kent - Gandia - Kent
Posts: 2,002
Re: The joy of visitors...
They came, they saw, they used up all our loo roll...
They came to us from England,
That green and pleasant land.
They came to stay for just one week,
But it wasn't what we'd planned.
We imagined it would be great fun,
Having friends with us to stay,
We wanted to spend some quality time,
They came for a free holiday!
And that's how the trouble started,
No matter how we'd try,
When things at Hotel Twyntub,
Just seemed to go awry.
They'd moan about the semi-skimmed,
They complained about the tea,
They even tutted at the rain,
But it rains in Spain, you see.
The frequent sudden power cuts,
Really made them sad,
And the distance we were from the beach,
Got them really hoping mad.
The lack of local pubs and clubs,
And no English TV,
Their mobile phones just wouldn't work,
We're in the mountains don't you see?
What do you mean you've got no landline?
And the shops here shut at two?
And Tesco don't deliver here?
What shopping can you do?
And the people just won't speak to us...
Except in Spanish, oh my lord!
We shout at them as best we can,
But seem to get ignored!
Yet my wife and I kept quiet,
We just kept out the way,
Cleaning up their sandy mess,
Changing bath towels every day.
We coped with no hot water,
When they'd used it for a bath,
For the 2nd or 3rd time that day,
We just had to laugh
When they ate up all our chocolate,
Yet the wrappers missed the bin,
Or when they opened all the windows,
And let the mossies in!
Hang on, they've offered to take us out!
By way of "thankyou" saying.
So why is it after a great big feast,
It's us that ends up paying!
Alas, they've got to go back home,
Their flight leaves at half past eight,
Another day to cope with them,
But tonight we celebrate!
They say they've had a lovely time,
Enjoying each and every day,
But they much prefer their home comforts,
Back in the UK.
Well go back to bloody England!
You've really been a pain!
Forget the creature comforts,
We prefer life here in Spain!
We may not have the latest car,
Or a council house TV,
We're too busy spending quality time,
As a happy family.
They came to us from England,
That green and pleasant land.
They came to stay for just one week,
But it wasn't what we'd planned.
We imagined it would be great fun,
Having friends with us to stay,
We wanted to spend some quality time,
They came for a free holiday!
And that's how the trouble started,
No matter how we'd try,
When things at Hotel Twyntub,
Just seemed to go awry.
They'd moan about the semi-skimmed,
They complained about the tea,
They even tutted at the rain,
But it rains in Spain, you see.
The frequent sudden power cuts,
Really made them sad,
And the distance we were from the beach,
Got them really hoping mad.
The lack of local pubs and clubs,
And no English TV,
Their mobile phones just wouldn't work,
We're in the mountains don't you see?
What do you mean you've got no landline?
And the shops here shut at two?
And Tesco don't deliver here?
What shopping can you do?
And the people just won't speak to us...
Except in Spanish, oh my lord!
We shout at them as best we can,
But seem to get ignored!
Yet my wife and I kept quiet,
We just kept out the way,
Cleaning up their sandy mess,
Changing bath towels every day.
We coped with no hot water,
When they'd used it for a bath,
For the 2nd or 3rd time that day,
We just had to laugh
When they ate up all our chocolate,
Yet the wrappers missed the bin,
Or when they opened all the windows,
And let the mossies in!
Hang on, they've offered to take us out!
By way of "thankyou" saying.
So why is it after a great big feast,
It's us that ends up paying!
Alas, they've got to go back home,
Their flight leaves at half past eight,
Another day to cope with them,
But tonight we celebrate!
They say they've had a lovely time,
Enjoying each and every day,
But they much prefer their home comforts,
Back in the UK.
Well go back to bloody England!
You've really been a pain!
Forget the creature comforts,
We prefer life here in Spain!
We may not have the latest car,
Or a council house TV,
We're too busy spending quality time,
As a happy family.
FANTASTIC
its sad but true...... a good thing to do when "guests" mention they are coming over is say "oh great let me know when and I will find a plce to rent for you" that soon puts all the p**s takers off !!!!! works a treat for me
Sep 21st 2007, 9:07 am
#4
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: Benalmadena Pueblo Spain
Posts: 991
Re: The joy of visitors...
Brilliant, you could make a living writing poems, keep it up 
Sep 21st 2007, 10:04 am
#5
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Denia (Alicante)
Posts: 244
Re: The joy of visitors...
excellent - and oh so true!!!! 
Sep 21st 2007, 12:34 pm
#6
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 3,254
Re: The joy of visitors...
Absolutely brilliant, and so true
Sep 21st 2007, 12:53 pm
#7
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: midlands/denia
Posts: 4,340
Re: The joy of visitors...
Spot on.
Sep 21st 2007, 1:05 pm
#8
Concierge
Joined: May 2006
Location: ex ex-pat, in Taunton
Posts: 27,212
Re: The joy of visitors...
They came, they saw, they used up all our loo roll...
They came to us from England,
That green and pleasant land.
They came to stay for just one week,
But it wasn't what we'd planned.
We imagined it would be great fun,
Having friends with us to stay,
We wanted to spend some quality time,
They came for a free holiday!
And that's how the trouble started,
No matter how we'd try,
When things at Hotel Twyntub,
Just seemed to go awry.
They'd moan about the semi-skimmed,
They complained about the tea,
They even tutted at the rain,
But it rains in Spain, you see.
The frequent sudden power cuts,
Really made them sad,
And the distance we were from the beach,
Got them really hoping mad.
The lack of local pubs and clubs,
And no English TV,
Their mobile phones just wouldn't work,
We're in the mountains don't you see?
What do you mean you've got no landline?
And the shops here shut at two?
And Tesco don't deliver here?
What shopping can you do?
And the people just won't speak to us...
Except in Spanish, oh my lord!
We shout at them as best we can,
But seem to get ignored!
Yet my wife and I kept quiet,
We just kept out the way,
Cleaning up their sandy mess,
Changing bath towels every day.
We coped with no hot water,
When they'd used it for a bath,
For the 2nd or 3rd time that day,
We just had to laugh
When they ate up all our chocolate,
Yet the wrappers missed the bin,
Or when they opened all the windows,
And let the mossies in!
Hang on, they've offered to take us out!
By way of "thankyou" saying.
So why is it after a great big feast,
It's us that ends up paying!
Alas, they've got to go back home,
Their flight leaves at half past eight,
Another day to cope with them,
But tonight we celebrate!
They say they've had a lovely time,
Enjoying each and every day,
But they much prefer their home comforts,
Back in the UK.
Well go back to bloody England!
You've really been a pain!
Forget the creature comforts,
We prefer life here in Spain!
We may not have the latest car,
Or a council house TV,
We're too busy spending quality time,
As a happy family.
They came to us from England,
That green and pleasant land.
They came to stay for just one week,
But it wasn't what we'd planned.
We imagined it would be great fun,
Having friends with us to stay,
We wanted to spend some quality time,
They came for a free holiday!
And that's how the trouble started,
No matter how we'd try,
When things at Hotel Twyntub,
Just seemed to go awry.
They'd moan about the semi-skimmed,
They complained about the tea,
They even tutted at the rain,
But it rains in Spain, you see.
The frequent sudden power cuts,
Really made them sad,
And the distance we were from the beach,
Got them really hoping mad.
The lack of local pubs and clubs,
And no English TV,
Their mobile phones just wouldn't work,
We're in the mountains don't you see?
What do you mean you've got no landline?
And the shops here shut at two?
And Tesco don't deliver here?
What shopping can you do?
And the people just won't speak to us...
Except in Spanish, oh my lord!
We shout at them as best we can,
But seem to get ignored!
Yet my wife and I kept quiet,
We just kept out the way,
Cleaning up their sandy mess,
Changing bath towels every day.
We coped with no hot water,
When they'd used it for a bath,
For the 2nd or 3rd time that day,
We just had to laugh
When they ate up all our chocolate,
Yet the wrappers missed the bin,
Or when they opened all the windows,
And let the mossies in!
Hang on, they've offered to take us out!
By way of "thankyou" saying.
So why is it after a great big feast,
It's us that ends up paying!
Alas, they've got to go back home,
Their flight leaves at half past eight,
Another day to cope with them,
But tonight we celebrate!
They say they've had a lovely time,
Enjoying each and every day,
But they much prefer their home comforts,
Back in the UK.
Well go back to bloody England!
You've really been a pain!
Forget the creature comforts,
We prefer life here in Spain!
We may not have the latest car,
Or a council house TV,
We're too busy spending quality time,
As a happy family.
Sep 21st 2007, 1:21 pm
#9
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: Depends
Posts: 4,041
Re: The joy of visitors...
Why I book them into the local hotel and meet up with them occasionally.....apart from close family of course.....cause I can legally shoot them if they moan....
Sep 21st 2007, 2:45 pm
#10
Forum Regular
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Cadiz, then Chiclana
Posts: 49
Re: The joy of visitors...
absolutely genius, i wish i could write poems!...
and with visitors arriving on monday for 11 whole nights, we have it all to look forward to.
I think i shall print off your poem and leave it in their bedroom, just as a little hint.....
or i'll just read it when the stress is getting too much!
and with visitors arriving on monday for 11 whole nights, we have it all to look forward to.
I think i shall print off your poem and leave it in their bedroom, just as a little hint.....
or i'll just read it when the stress is getting too much!
Sep 21st 2007, 2:49 pm
#11
Concierge
Joined: May 2006
Location: ex ex-pat, in Taunton
Posts: 27,212
Re: The joy of visitors...
absolutely genius, i wish i could write poems!...
and with visitors arriving on monday for 11 whole nights, we have it all to look forward to.
I think i shall print off your poem and leave it in their bedroom, just as a little hint.....
or i'll just read it when the stress is getting too much!
and with visitors arriving on monday for 11 whole nights, we have it all to look forward to.
I think i shall print off your poem and leave it in their bedroom, just as a little hint.....
or i'll just read it when the stress is getting too much!
Sep 21st 2007, 2:51 pm
#12
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Xirles Costa Blanca
Posts: 922
Re: The joy of visitors...
Brilliant..
Pam Ayres eat your hear out
Pam Ayres eat your hear out
Sep 21st 2007, 3:31 pm
#13
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2004
Location: Albuñol. Granada
Posts: 1,532
Re: The joy of visitors...
Brilliant, it sums up the majority of visitors that come over.
Sep 21st 2007, 5:21 pm
#14
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: España
Posts: 728
Re: The joy of visitors...
A slight addendum to this little tale. We had the last laugh... just as we were leaving to drop them at the airport, one of our neighbours stopped us to tell us that there is a festival on here this weekend.
Lots of free food and endless free beer all weekend long.
Their jaws dropped, we just ushered them into the car before they could even think about changing their flights!!!
Here's to the weekend everybody, it's finally here!
Lots of free food and endless free beer all weekend long.
Their jaws dropped, we just ushered them into the car before they could even think about changing their flights!!!
Here's to the weekend everybody, it's finally here!
Sep 21st 2007, 7:14 pm
#15
!hola!
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Coventry
Posts: 405
Re: The joy of visitors...
Fab! 
and enjoy your weekend - it sounds like you deserve it!
and enjoy your weekend - it sounds like you deserve it!
Last edited by tednsharon; Sep 21st 2007 at 7:17 pm.