British Expats

British Expats (https://britishexpats.com/forum/)
-   Spain (https://britishexpats.com/forum/spain-75/)
-   -   I swear, it's true (https://britishexpats.com/forum/spain-75/i-swear-its-true-471798/)

leighbloke Aug 5th 2007 10:35 am

I swear, it's true
 
A new facility at my local bank:-

"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are
requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender."
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.
*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card
holder, and place card into the slot provided!

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

Jerseygirl Aug 5th 2007 10:36 am

Re: I swear, it's true
 
So very true....but what about applying lippie. :lol:

Mitzyboy Aug 5th 2007 10:40 am

Re: I swear, it's true
 

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl (Post 5152373)
So very true....but what about applying lippie. :lol:


Well that actually applies to a lot of the men on this forum also ;)

rugbymatt Aug 5th 2007 10:45 am

Re: I swear, it's true
 

Originally Posted by Mitzyboy (Post 5152385)
Well that actually applies to a lot of the men on this forum also ;)

What you talkin' 'bout, fool!

Mitzyboy Aug 5th 2007 10:47 am

Re: I swear, it's true
 

Originally Posted by rugbymatt (Post 5152397)
What you talkin' 'bout, fool!

applying lippie of course sweetie

rugbymatt Aug 5th 2007 10:48 am

Re: I swear, it's true
 

Originally Posted by Mitzyboy (Post 5152402)
applying lippie of course sweetie

that was my best Mr T impression.............wasted, wasted.

Mitzyboy Aug 5th 2007 10:50 am

Re: I swear, it's true
 

Originally Posted by rugbymatt (Post 5152403)
that was my best Mr T impression.............wasted, wasted.


Mr T wears lipstick :eek::eek::eek:

Fuzzlepop Aug 5th 2007 10:52 am

Re: I swear, it's true
 

Originally Posted by Mitzyboy (Post 5152385)
Well that actually applies to a lot of the men on this forum also ;)

Some say I apply a bit to much:rofl:

Mitzyboy Aug 5th 2007 10:54 am

Re: I swear, it's true
 

Originally Posted by Fuzzlepop (Post 5152413)
Some say I apply a bit to much:rofl:

You got that right :D

rugbymatt Aug 5th 2007 10:56 am

Re: I swear, it's true
 

Originally Posted by Fuzzlepop (Post 5152413)
Some say I apply a bit to much:rofl:

Oh I don't know mate, maybe a little less on the eye area might be an idea!

dreamcatcher Aug 5th 2007 5:50 pm

Re: I swear, it's true
 

Originally Posted by Fuzzlepop (Post 5152413)
Some say I apply a bit to much:rofl:



Um,do you use a mirror?:eek:

montgomail Aug 6th 2007 5:06 am

Re: I swear, it's true
 

Originally Posted by leighbloke (Post 5152368)
A new facility at my local bank:-

"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are
requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender."
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.
*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card
holder, and place card into the slot provided!

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

I think someone´s been watching me at the toll booths.:D


All times are GMT -12. The time now is 3:42 pm.

Powered by vBulletin: ©2000 - 2026, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright © 2026 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.