Humanist Funerals
 

Sadly there have been as few too many sad 'losses' of members and their partners this year. Recently I had a little health scare. I'm fine now but it prompted me to think about funerals. I'm really very deeply anti-religion but for the emotional health and welfare of family I'd want a non-religious but a well organised funeral. It seems a Humanist one might fit the bill. Does anyone know of any Humanist Funeral celebrants in Andalucia.(other areas too) Of course I hope not to use their services for a lot of years. But this info might be relevant to other expats over the years. And could be in the free beer section. OOPs might be info already there! I'll look. If not. Any info out there?

Re: Humanist Funerals
 

If you have a cremation in a tanatorio you can have whatever sort of service you like. We had one last year for a friend, we played his favourite music and all said a few words about what he'd meant to us. When you've finished you just let them know and they draw the curtains over the coffin and do the business.

If you want the body placed in a cemetery though, I think you have to go through the church.

Re: Humanist Funerals
 

By far the best and most personal funeral that I have been to is that of my husband. I was asked what I wanted and was offered a speaker but declined and wrote something from the heart. The whole thing was so personal because there was not an outsider taking part. I would totally recommend this for people who have no religious leanings.

Rosemary

Re: Humanist Funerals
 

I went to one very similar last week.

The four children organised the whole thing and each said some words. The lunch afterwards included a slide/music presentation of her life.

Very moving and well put together.

Re: Humanist Funerals
 

My late husbands cremation here in Spain was non religious, friends and colleagues spoke and we talked of his life. His memorial in UK was very personal, with a slide show of him through the years, put together by his daughters, music of my choice and the family and work colleagues recalled their memories of him.

Re: Humanist Funerals
 

This interests me. I'm not a religious person myself, but I spend a lot of time exploring Spanish cemetaries. I find them very moving, and romantic places. The one in Granada (above The Alhambra) even has a meditation garden at the top with views across the Sierra Nevada and the city. They are also places full of art.

I'm considering building (with many other artists) a sculpture trail and memorial gardens as an alternative to traditional tomb stones and cemetary memorials. No burials of course, but rather than someone spending money on another religious memorial plaque, or stone they would commission an artist to create an everlasting piece of art that everyone could enjoy. A place family and friends can visit to commemorate and contemplate, and also somewhere that in time will build to become a tourist attraction and art/sculpture trail in a tranquil setting.

Not entirely sure how very conservative, Catholic Andalucia would respond to this idea, but I'm up for giving it ago.

Humanist ceremonies could take place on site with ash scattering. No law against that. Most people I have discussed the idea with like it.

Any reason why not?

Re: Humanist Funerals
 

My town is very conservative and very religious so I was pleasantly surprised that those attending my OH´s funeral were quite smitten with it and talked about doing this for themselves.

One factor I am discovering is that their traditional funeral even done as cheaply as possible cost more than double what a cremation does so that is an important thing for you to remember. Keep your price as reasonable as you can for the service that you are providing and it will catch on, overprice it at the onset and you will not gain any interest.

Good luck with the idea.

Rosemary

Re: Humanist Funerals
 

my late husband's funeral in the UK was non-religious - he was vociferously anti-religion

we had a 'celebrant' who came to talk to me & the girls one evening - it just felt like a chat but he got so much info from us that when it came to the funeral it seemed as if he had known my husband all his life!!

it was very personal - lots of 'in jokes' - music that my husband loved, a reading by his favourite nephew & another by our 12 year old daughter (I don't know how she managed to get through it - I know I wouldn't have )

I have since been to 2 funerals here in Spain - one was a shock - a catholic funeral which felt desperately impersonal & nothing at all like the deceased, and another non-religious one - which really did 'fit' the person

I know a couple of british ministers here in my area - both are happy to perform non-religious ceremonies, so I'd be very surprised if that wasn't possible in Andalucía

Re: Humanist Funerals
 

All very interesting replies. Thanks to everyone. Thanks Rosemary. I'm glad you can remember Graham's funeral as the way you chose it and as Graham would have chosen it.
I love your idea TLP. Maybe you'll start a new way of doing things! About time there was some alternative to tombstones. Could even be a piece of music not even something solid. I think everyone needs their place. But not necessarily a permanent fixing. We scattered my Dad's ashes in a tributary of the Humber where his family had a shipyard when he was a child. The moment and the place meant something to me and it's fixed in my memory that that's where dad is. Full circle if you like. That simple scattering meant more to me and his grandchildren than the somewhat sad little funeral ceremony with "no flowers" which my mum felt under pressure to have "for the family" and which helped no-one to say goodbye.
When my Mum died we decided to have loads of flowers. For us really.
But it does sound as if we can have what we want in Spain and that's what either my husband or I will do when the time comes.

Re: Humanist Funerals
 

I live in progressive, atheist Andalucia - can I book my place now?!

Re: Humanist Funerals
 

One thing that I would strongly advise is that people should talk about this subject when you are both well and can discuss it without it feeling imminent. I knew Graham´s thoughts on funerals very early on in our relationship so we could always talk about it. When he became ill he emphasized again what he did not want and the fact that he wanted to be cremated no matter how much hassle it was.

We were very well prepared with paperwork etc which was a good job because your brain definitely does not work when you are needing to arrange things which as you all know is extremely quick in Spain.

Rosemary

Re: Humanist Funerals
 

Does anyone know if woodland burials, with a wicker or cardboard coffin, are available (or even legal) in Spain? If I were in the UK that's what I would want for myself, but I've never seen any information about woodland burial sites in Spain.

Re: Humanist Funerals
 

I doubt it, you aren't even allowed to bury animals! They have to be cremated.

Do they have them in Britain?

Re: Humanist Funerals
 

Yes, some details here:-

www.woodlandburialtrust.com

I think they are a wonderful idea (if you have to die:D). I hate that bit in the crematorium where the coffin slides through the curtains, and I wouldn't want to be buried in a churchyard or cemetery either.

Re: Humanist Funerals
 

Wow, there are loads! How beautiful! Hopefully by the time you and me get to that stage Lynn, there will be some in Spain too.

All I could find about Spain today was that coffins have to be hermetically sealed so no recyclable ones like cardboard allowed. I can't find any info on non-religious burials, though. I think the Church wants your soul and if you object to that, you don't have much choice other than cremation. :unsure:

At the tanatorio I went to the family could request not to see the coffin at all, just leave the curtains drawn during the "service", or even leave the room before it slides off to be cremated. Basically he who pays the piper (and they are very expensive) calls the tune.