Homesick and pregnant
 

My husband and I with our two daughters moved to Seville, Spain 6 months ago and I haven't settled here one bit. We moved 3 weeks after the birth of my second daughter and I had to have a second emergency c-section which didn't help with the timing! I am really unhappy here and my husband doesn't rreally understand how I'm feeling and just gets impatient with me. We came because he wanted to give it a go and I was willing to try it, on the condition that we would move back home if it didn't work out for any of us. We are living in an area with few ex-pats (it is only after 6 months that I am finally beginning to make contacts with other English people but it is a slow process). I had 3 months of Spanish lessons when I first arrived so I can get by in shops etc but I miss having a 'gossip' and just passing the time of day with people. I miss EVERYTHING about England not just family and friends although I am missing them more than I thought possible. I miss the culture, the variety in weather, the green open spaces, the food, the shops, the places to visit...I miss being able to speak in my own language every day. In my naivety I was expecting there to be groups for young children such as Mothers and toddlers etc but there is nothing. The soft play areas etc don't open until evening, the parks are deserted in the day due to the heat and I am just feeling extremely lonely and isolated and I don't want to be here. I don't want to bring my children up here. Our life before was so much richer and happier.
Anyway, I do know that my husband can't just up and leave his job and get another one back home just like that and he has now agreed that we stay here two years tops but the thought of another 18 months feeling like this is really depressing in itself. Also, a great shock but a happy shock, I have just found out I am pregnant again. That is really exciting but it is very much tainted by being over here. I'm not worried about the small age gap in itself but I am worried about the birth because it will automatically be a c-section again (so soon after the previous) but I am more worried about being away from my family and friends with three young children. I would honestly go home tomorrow if I could. I am constantly thinking about being back home and counting off the months which isn't a healthy way to live I know.
I know I waffling on but it just helps to write it down I suppose. Anyone else in a similar situation? Anyone had a c-section over here? Thanks for 'listening'!!

Re: Homesick and pregnant
 

Hi Elly,

Sorry to hear about the way you are feeling, I think you moved away at a very difficult time, after just having a baby.
I know from experience that hormones are going bonkers and with the extra pressure of uprooting the family to move to a foreign country must have been hell.

This heat is really bad this time of year, and moreso if you have young children it can really get them down, and of course you are in one of the hottest parts of Spain.

The lack of Brits, where you live, will be a problem because I think all mums need some sort of network, for themselves and for the children.

I have not got any really practical advice to give, just try to get through the best you can. Get hubby to try and sort a job back in the UK, from Spain.

I know it wont be easy, but the sooner he starts, the better.

And if you just want to moan send me a PM, and try to keep your chin up.

Stick the washing up bowl in the garden of on the terrace and have a water fight, that will make you all feel better.

Sorry I cant be of more help sweetie.

Re: Homesick and pregnant
 

Ive just sent ya a pm chick xxxxx

Re: Homesick and pregnant
 

Hi

Just read your post. Very sad to hear how you are feeling.

I feel quite upset for you too and for me as I am in exactly the same boat (except for the pregnant bit - although we did have a scare last month -).

I am up in Northern Spain, where there are no expats or anyone to speak English with.

I am so homesick - my head says Spain is great and make the most of it, but my heart is back in the UK with familiar things around me. I watched two episodes of "No place like home" last night on ITVplayer which made me dwell too much on it. Daft eh?

What are your plans for the pregancy?

Must dash - kids need feeding now.

Re: Homesick and pregnant
 

I am so sorry to hear you are feeling sad.

Maybe someone on this forum who lives near you could come and see you and get together for meet ups xxx

Re: Homesick and pregnant
 

Six months is not really a long time. We didnt even address settling in during the first 6 months we were here. We were just trying to keep up with things and organise ourselves as best we can. At this time you will of course be missing home, but personally I would give it a little longer. Making new friends in a foreign country is not easy for sure and wont happen overnight.

Really sorry to hear you are feeling that way though. I hope you get through it, but in the longer term if you still dislike it so much then you have little choice to return.

Seville, by the way is such a beautiful city and theres so much to see there and roundabout.

Re: Homesick and pregnant
 

I didnt stay when i lst went to look at houses in spain, but i can imagine how you feel. However, 6 mths isnt very long, when I first moved from Guildford in Surrey to Hastings, 80 miles away, I knew no one either and it took a very long time to get to know people - I know its not a foreign country, but i also know that when you have children, especially a baby, a woman going out into the street with a pram is always surrounded by other ladies wanting to look at their baby and asking questions, you will I feel sure, be bound meet lots of people in that way. Im usually quite reserved but my partner Lynda talks to everyone - whether they like it or not:lol: So that way she interacts with others and gets invited to places - Im new on here, so i hope you dont mind me chipping in with that one.............good luck to you........Jaques

Re: Homesick and pregnant
 

Hello and welcome to the forum. I felt the same way as you when I moved away from my family and was pregnant and that was in the UK!! Believe me its natural to feel the way you do, wherever you are. Your hormones will be over the place and you will be feeling lonely with just the little ones for company. But try to stay upbeat as you are still new to the area and these things take time. I am sorry I can't offer any advice about Seville but you have landed in a great location and with time hopefully you will adjust.

If you need any help and advice I am sure people on here will try their best to help. :)

Re: Homesick and pregnant
 

Hi Elly,
Sorry to hear how you are feeling. It is a really difficult time but things will get better. It probably doesn't seem so at the moment but it will.
I moved here with two small children (11 months and 3 years old) and found it very, very, difficult at the beginning. I didn't speak any Spanish and, like you, missed a good old chat with pals in a language I understood. I became a bit isolated and could go for months on end with talking to anyone in English (apart from my husband - who also didn't understand how I felt)
I found that learning Spanish made it easier and finding at least one good pal who I could speak to in English was also a great help . I went home at least twice a year and had family and friends visit whenever they could.
Have you got any close family who could come out and stay to help you when the new baby is born? Or how about looking for an English aupair who wants to live in Spain and would help you out with the kids, and would be someone you could chat to.
There will be lots of groups in Seville you can join to meet other mums. Here is a link to one of them http://madresdesevilla.foroactivo.net/beb-f23/ I am sure that if you put something on there in English then someone will reply.
I have a friend who had a c-section a few months ago. No problems and back on her feet in no time.
I made the move over 20 years ago and am still here and very happy.
If you need someone to chat to please feel free to pm me.
Good luck

Re: Homesick and pregnant
 

Hi Elly,
I'm glad you felt better for "getting it off your chest". You've listed your thoughts on paper, accepted that things aren't so great at the moment, but can you move on? I'm sure you can with some help and time.:thumbup:

There have been several good, friendly replies already - I'm surprised jaques2go hasn't posted a pic of a cuddly tdbear to cheer you up!:D

You mention having had 2 c-section deliveries, both emergencies, and with the third pregnancy, a probable planned c-section delivery. That's a lot to handle. I think I can understand how you must feel, having delivered my 2 similarly, oh, many many years ago. With your new pregnancy, your doctor or midwife should be able to answer any questions or help lessen any fears. (V good suggestion to ask a friend/family member to come over for a while if possible, especially in your last trimester.)

Some things don't change with time, and it is good for women (family or friends) to talk about these things with each other. In this day & age, the internet can be an aid, yet, nothing beats a good natter face to face.

You say you have just started to make contact with other english speaking people. That's encouraging! With time and practice (just open your mouth), your grip on Castellano will improve, too, and your circle of friends will widen.

During the summer months, go out for a stroll regularly in the cool of the evening - the entire family - in your neighbourhood. Show off your beautiful family!

When the schools return (I don't know the age of your eldest) you may have the opportunity to meet with other mothers. Buy the local paper, take your baby with you to a cafe near a school and find out!

Good luck:fingerscrossed:!

Re: Homesick and pregnant
 

Sorry to hear your post. Life is too short to wish away the next 18 months. :wub:

Re: Homesick and pregnant
 

[QUOTE=Carol&John;7840871]There have been several good, friendly replies already - I'm surprised jaques2go hasn't posted a pic of a cuddly tdbear to cheer you up!:D

WELL HERE YOU ARE...............Billy and his friends enjoying Christmas

http://http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/a...hristmas07.jpg

Re: Homesick and pregnant
 

I think it is common after the first 6 month (holiday mode) to start to get home sick, hopefully in time it will pass.
Having said that, if your hubby agreed to going back if things weren't working out he has to abide by the deal, no matter how hard that may seem now.
At the risk of being slated as a sexist, I would say that in my own experience, women,especially mothers find the change harder as they have more concerns, especially regarding their children,that's normal and understandable.
Life and home is where you make it.
All the best, I hope things get better.

Re: Homesick and pregnant
 

Elly - I have sent you a PM.

Re: Homesick and pregnant
 

What a sad post, horrible to hear you feeling like that.

Your husband needs a kick up the backside, complete **** in my opinion, if you are not happy, he should go back to the UK end of.