Helping children integrate?
 

Almost two months ago we made the move to Spain, we are living in the Valencia region.
We purposefully chose an area that wasn't typically expat as we didn't want to live in little England in the sun & wanted to integrate into Spanish life surrounded by Spanish people.
The children have started Spanish school & all seemed OK at the beginning but they are now upset and not wanting to go in, though are happy at pick up time and have had a good day. They are 3 & 5.
The school speaks little English, so I assume it's purely them being overwhelmed by being surrounded by Spanish speaking. We are trying to integrate into the local community and have been to local festivals with our community and we speak to the locals and being as friendly as we can.
My partner speaks enough Spanish to get by and I am trying to learn, but classes don't start till September for me to enrol on, I am speaking to a local lady who wants to improve her English and she is helping me in return for me helping her, but she isn't a teacher, it's just really to help me get to grips with it and I am doing what I can using the Internet and duo lingo. We try and speak to the children in Spanish, but as I'm so limited it's difficult. They are picking up lots and we point out animals and colours in Spanish and they can count to 10.
We should have had classes in England before we left... But we can't change that now. We are looking for a class or tutor for the children in summer to hopefully help them get to grips before next school year.
So basically is there anything more we can do? Anything we have done wrong (other than not having already learnt Spanish).
Thanks!

Re: Helping children integrate?
 

Hi and a warm welcome to the Spanish forum on BE. Myself and Fred James are the moderators for the Spanish forums whilst BEVS moderates Europe. Moderators are there to ensure that the site runs smoothly within the rules of BE. This is so that members gain the information that they are looking for and find their experiences on the forums to be friendly and worthwhile.

Problems and complaints should always be addressed to a moderator who will look into the matter and deal with it efficiently and fairly. Our members who post in the Spain Forums are usually friendly and helpful with a wealth of knowledge about the issues of living in Spain. I hope that you enjoy your time participating in the forums.

Please let me know if you need any further help.

Rosemary

Re: Helping children integrate?
 

I think you basically have to stick at it!

You can´t become fluent in Spanish in a few days.It will probably take your children 1-2 years and take you 4-5 years, if you are committed

Speak English to them at home, not Spanish. As that is a way to reinforce their English skills and anyway, they wont be able to learn much Spanish from you, but make sure the TV is always in Spanish (for example) and go to the parks after school so you can mix with Spanish speakers

My children are 2 and 4 so similar age to yours, but have been brought up bilingual. The only English my kids get is from me (not their mum) and from cartoons on TV and they speak English excellently - as well as Spanish without us having to put in a specific strategy

You just need to make sure continue to get exposure to Spanish

Good luck!

Re: Helping children integrate?
 

How long have you been living in the area? You say that you are living in the Valencia region so many of the lessons will probably be in Valencian so this may be causing some confusion to your children. Have you asked the teacher whether they are taking part within the class or tending to sit on the sidelines?

As Cricketman says you need to be patient with yourself. You seem to be doing all of the right things too.

Rosemary

Re: Helping children integrate?
 

Poor little mites. new country, new customs and you don't understand anything that is said to you. How do you think you would feel? No wonder they are happy at pick up time. Children can be unkind and bully anyway but particularly if they have something to go for. I don't see what else you can do now you have committed them. A tutor in the summer holidays would be a good step - better late than never.

Re: Helping children integrate?
 

Are you serious?

The children are 3 and 5. There is no bullying at that age. Bullying comes much later

And at their age, their brains are perfectly ready to learn 2,3 or even 4 languages

There is nothing cruel about it at all

Re: Helping children integrate?
 

Of course I know how they must feel which is why I said it must be overwhelming being surrounded by a language you don't understand.
I didn't just mean they are happy at pick up, we of course speak to the teachers and they are fine once we have gone. Today when I dropped my son off he was a little sad when I left the classroom but I stood round the door and looked in through a crack he immediately started playing.
There is no bullying... They are 3&5 & at the moment objects of desire and everyone is falling over themselves to be friendly towards them (which must be overwhelming in itself), they are blonde haired, blue eyed and as we have been told "rare" here & as such a bit of a subject of curio.

Poor mites indeed, mummy and daddy have dragged them to another country to give them a better life where they will grow up bilingual. Now we have committed them?! You speak like we have had them locked away! We could take them out of school and home school them for a time till they get used to it, we could take them out completely till next school year as its not mandatory till 6 and if things really didn't work out we could go back to England... But we have not committed them anywhere.

Thank you for your welcoming and what came across as a frankly rude reply.

Re: Helping children integrate?
 

To the rest, thank you, it's good to hear we are on the right track.
And yes valencian is a bit different... It's going to mean we all have two languages to learn.
We have not even been here two months yet, so still very early days.
I have been looking at tutors and will hopefully be able to arrange one for the summer. I think it would help them to have one to one support.
Thanks

Re: Helping children integrate?
 

Twaddle. My daughter experienced several unpleasant episodes at day care before she was five. Was it a coordinated plan of unpleasantness and agression? No, but it certainly fitted the definition of bullying.

Re: Helping children integrate?
 

I am talking about in Spanish schools

I have no idea what daycare is. That´s something in the USA right?

Re: Helping children integrate?
 

What you have said there shows that it is just the normal anxiety of leaving the parent and not a problem with the surroundings. Sounds like you have picked a good school and that the children are fitting in well.

Good luck with settling into your new life, it is really early days and already you are making progress so do not allow the doubters to knock you down.

Rosemary

Re: Helping children integrate?
 

I have been lucky enough to spend time in a school for children under 5 here in Spain and I saw nothing but good behaviour and no aggression at all. All of the children looked happy to be there mixing with others.

Unless you have experience of matters such as this having lived in Spain then kindly do not comment because your posts are not only misleading but also destructive to new members who probably do not realise that you are talking about experiences in another country and not the country that they are asking about.

Rosemary

Re: Helping children integrate?
 

Thank you Rosemary.
Yes from my research before we moved (& a contributing factor to moving) was that there was little to no bullying witnessed at schools, when it was seen it was usually between the English children. My daughter was subject to real bullying by a boy nearly three times her age in England, so I'm very aware now of what to look for.

Re: Helping children integrate?
 

Bullying does happen in Spanish schools, but it starts much later, maybe around 8 or 9

Just like in a good British school, good Spanish schools will discourage it

Spanish parents dont introduce rules as early as British parents so young Spanish children seem to be much more happy and relaxed, but on the other side of the coin, less disciplined and therefore more difficult to look after

A British 5 year old has been told their whole life already what to do, so will look to do the same to younger or weaker children as soon as they get the chance

A massive generalisation I know, but based on my own thoughts and observations

We went to a soft play centre in the UK last year and we could not believe the violence and aggression in the younger children, something we have never experienced in Spain

Re: Helping children integrate?
 

Thank you for the insight.