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English, the preferred language of EU communication..

English, the preferred language of EU communication..

Old Feb 13th 2007, 8:16 am
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Cool English, the preferred language of EU communication..

The new English

The European Commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, as opposed to German, which was the other possibility.

During negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement, and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EurEnglish (Eurin for short). The details follow:

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c" ' Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "C" will be replased with "k", klearing up konfusion, and typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph " will be replased by "f" This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.

In year three, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible, Governments will encourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in th languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By th fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th " by "z", and "w" wiz "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords Containing "ou". and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl Zer vil be no mor trubls or diftkultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru

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Old Feb 13th 2007, 8:42 am
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Old Feb 15th 2007, 2:31 pm
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Old Feb 15th 2007, 4:18 pm
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