JLFS

Following a suggestion by Domino, it might be a good idea for a confessional thread, but so that it doesnt get too scandalous, we could keep it to include "crappy things you have done, while living/holidaying in Spain.

For those of us who are couples, the Oddities, the Painters and others, it might be more tricky to fess up, as this forum will be read by the OH.

Domino

as I have little Spain experience but loads from other countries where I have been a naughty boy can we open out the location ??

JLFS

Go on then......as long as your brother in law can take it....

Domino

are you suggesting a long distance lorry driver can't take it ??

actually no embarrassment to anyone - I was at sea and he stayed the night

although there was the night I went out and got drunk over a girl, my mates poured me on to the top step and ran. Dad got me into bed and several hours later I had to get up for a potty trip. Except the only toilet was at the bottom of the stairs, I missed the last 2 stairs and started effing and blinding. Dad said the next morning he was embarrassed because despite Chindit\Burmah time some of the things I said he couldn't explain to my mother.

HBG

I confess to going out with a group of 30 today, including my wife, and having dirty thoughts about several other ladies who were present, especially the redhead with the big bum. It didn't stop there, whenever a Lithuanian waitress walked past, I had to have a quick look, her bum was smaller, but moved nicer.

A hypnotist stopped me from smoking once, at least for a time; I wonder if I need treatment for looking at ladies bums?

Domino

is that a question of independent suspension on both hips ? ?

HBG

I've come across those, they confuse me. I prefer the even sway, the gentle promise of perfect pleasures from natural movements. Spanish ladies seem to be better at it than their UK counterparts. I'm stirred by stirring Spanish music, it seems sexier than a bunch of Essex girls dancing around their handbags in Romford.

Not that I've got anything against Essex girls, I know them rather well. Some of them anyway.

Domino

Confession time . . . .
I was about 15 or so, preparing to join the RN for organised debauchery and there was a group of French girls over on school exchange thing. I used the same words then, and had to admit to my mother i was talking about a French car

the girl was absolutley wonderful, but then it wasnt until many many years later that I was introduced to the delights of my own personal "Essex Girl"

fionamw

...... er, is this the thread in which to admit to having visited Torremolinos some *ahem* decades ago during an *ahem* 18-30s holiday and which involved the imbibing of rather too much sangria as a result of which quite a bit of my afternoon watching Spanish horses doing their stuff actually involved me under a drainage culvert (alone, I hasten to add) ................... well anyway, I got rid of said offending sangria

... suppose I have to add I'm not an Essex girl

(but my OH is a bum man too )

lynnxa

my 18-30s type hols were in Greece

swap sangria for demestica (not so affectionately dubbed 'domestos') & I don't quite remember various similar experiences

Dick Dasterdly

I must confess to constantly having lewd thoughts about a couple of teachers with big knockers way back in my schooldays.

My Doc gave me these special tablets to take my mind off them.

Just recently I've been getting the feeling that they may just be beginning to work.

HBG

I suppose this could be near the mark, but it's true. I was in business in north Devon when a local gippo bounced a cheque on me. It was for a fiver, but I got pedantic.

I called at his council house and he reluctantly admitted me to his filthy living room. While we were discussing business, a sheep walked in from his bedroom. The gippo was a sheep shearer by trade and worked for about a month a year.

This sheep had been sheared to look like a poodle and cuddled up to the horrible man right in front of me. I insisted that he emptied all the charity boxes he had stolen and nearly recovered my fiver.

Dick Dasterdly

Maybe you should have settled for the sheep instead.

Might have occasionally come in useful if you ever found yourself in the doghouse.
I dare say a few lamb chops wouldn't go amiss either.

Talking of pikeys and livestock in the house, it's not unusual for them to stable their horses in their council house bedrooms in my neck of the woods.

HBG

On a respectable forum like this, JLFS's thread was never going to take off. My wife does not know that I contribute, and most of time I'm a respectable guy anyway.

But, like most of us, it hasn't always been that way. Being careful, if I wrote of a blow-back from a beautiful Jamaican lady in darkest Hackney, who would know what I was talking about?

Or singing Oh Carol using a tooth brush as a microphone, in between blow backs; there was two of them, Carol died of aids.

I'm retreating back into my respectable shell and will probably go to Church this Sunday,

fionamw