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[email protected]&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[email protected]&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Old Mar 20th 2007, 12:41 am
  #46  
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Default Re: [email protected]&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi there Miss N,

I have followed all your threads over the past few months with great interest and amusement; and find your honest and forthright way of putting things very refreshing

As to your current situation, a lot of people have already said most of the things I would have..............
but from someone who's spent a lot of her life worrying and wondering about what other people might think, please be assured that it's really not worth beating yourself up about it!
You're obviously a sensitive soul, and it can hit hard when others (be they strangers on a forum, or "friends" and family) make their opinions known.
Sometimes it can be really hard to let go of the hurt you feel - but the bottom line is, you're the one who ends up feeling worse if you dwell on such comments.
It's not worth it!

As so many people have said, there's absolutely NO shame in saying "we tried it, and it just wasn't for us"

I'm a great believer in fate, so it obviously wasn't meant to be yet.
When the time is right, the opportunity will come up again - and you'll be wiser, stronger and the same obstacles won't present themselves.

I'm sure your husband and all the family were so relieved to be able to get home in time to see his Grandfather. My sympathies to you all at such a sad time.

I really admire you for NOT blowing a gasket, and sharing on the forum your very private reasons for returning when you did. Good for you!

I'm sure at the moment, you're just trying to concentrate on getting your girls all settled back into school, sorting out somewhere to live, and finding some work.
That's MORE than enough to be dealing with!

Don't be hard on yourself.
Let it go now, and start building your life for NOW.

Good luck with the job interview

Look forward to reading some more "Naughty style" posts on here when you're ready.
Chin up!

Thinking of you,
Sam.
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Old Mar 20th 2007, 8:19 am
  #47  
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Default Re: [email protected]&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by brisca View Post
Hi there Miss N,

I have followed all your threads over the past few months with great interest and amusement; and find your honest and forthright way of putting things very refreshing

As to your current situation, a lot of people have already said most of the things I would have..............
but from someone who's spent a lot of her life worrying and wondering about what other people might think, please be assured that it's really not worth beating yourself up about it!
You're obviously a sensitive soul, and it can hit hard when others (be they strangers on a forum, or "friends" and family) make their opinions known.
Sometimes it can be really hard to let go of the hurt you feel - but the bottom line is, you're the one who ends up feeling worse if you dwell on such comments.
It's not worth it!

As so many people have said, there's absolutely NO shame in saying "we tried it, and it just wasn't for us"

I'm a great believer in fate, so it obviously wasn't meant to be yet.
When the time is right, the opportunity will come up again - and you'll be wiser, stronger and the same obstacles won't present themselves.

I'm sure your husband and all the family were so relieved to be able to get home in time to see his Grandfather. My sympathies to you all at such a sad time.

I really admire you for NOT blowing a gasket, and sharing on the forum your very private reasons for returning when you did. Good for you!

I'm sure at the moment, you're just trying to concentrate on getting your girls all settled back into school, sorting out somewhere to live, and finding some work.
That's MORE than enough to be dealing with!

Don't be hard on yourself.
Let it go now, and start building your life for NOW.

Good luck with the job interview

Look forward to reading some more "Naughty style" posts on here when you're ready.
Chin up!

Thinking of you,
Sam.
Thank you xxxxxx
Thing is everything is correct and i have to learn to not be hard on myself xxxxx
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Old Mar 20th 2007, 8:20 am
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Default Re: [email protected]&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by chrisw View Post
Hi missnaughty,
The long and the short of it:
You had the guts to TRY
You returned to the UK for, in my opinion, admirable reasons
You felt it wasn't right after 5 weeks? How is that wrong?
You sign yourelf as LOST
You will FIND yourself babe, and when you do, you will know!
One day at a time will get your confidence back!

The best piece of advice I ever had was:
Don't worry about the things you can do nothing about, conentrate on the things you can.

Good luck Hun

Chris XXX
xxxxxxxxx
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Old Mar 20th 2007, 9:42 am
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Default Re: [email protected]&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Geez....just logged on for the first time in ages......sorry you feel so rotten hun!

I felt all emotional reading some of the responses, you have alot of support on here and whatever you think, you have the biggest cahoneys girl well done you.

You know how I feel .....so just writing to send lots of hugs babe....and good luck on the interview.

Take care xxxxx

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Old Mar 20th 2007, 5:50 pm
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Default Re: [email protected]&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well I've gpt tp admit I haven't seen the comments that have upset you, but I don't always get the time to read all the threads.

So not sure what has been said, but I should really not get too upset about it whatever it is.

Its quite clear to anyone that you are very well liked on the forum and everyone has followed your journey closely. Its a shame it hasn't worked out this time, but sometimes its for the best. Maybe it wasn't the right time.

So I really wouldn't upset yourself too much by whats written by someone on a forum and just get your life back together for the moment. Maybe take time to prepare for when you permanently come over here next .... I spent several years planning my move ... you can never do too much planning

But just bear in mind that you have had no end of support on here from start to finish ..... maybe a comment made in jest should be taken just that way and you should reflect on the obvious love and respect you have attracted here

Good luck & best wishes, whatever you do, and good luck with the job interview
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Old Mar 20th 2007, 8:18 pm
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Default Re: [email protected]&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi

I've not been on here for a while as I have been putting my life back together....so to speak. But, I had read that things hadn't worked out for you and I wanted to see if you had posted. I'm so sorry that Spain didn't work out for you and you had the problems you encountered.

As you know we returned from Spain after a year. Things have been hard since we came back, but we are happy to be home again. We gave it our best shot and honestly couldn't have done anymore to make it work.....bar having a ton of money to make up for what we were losing there.

On the 'up' side, I have found the best job I've ever had, and OH has gone for his HGV, something he had longed to do since we met. He's passed the first bit and now waiting to do the artics. Things have been particulary hard for him since our return as he has taken our financial loss as all his fault.

People say we had to make the move or for the rest of our lives we would have lived the 'what if' factor. They are right but I wish with all my heart we had never gone.

Anyway......what I am trying to say is, we lost a lot and since we came home our lives have been in turmoil trying to get on our feet again and coping with what we have lost, our house. BUT, the kids are happy and doing great in school (eldest is even ahead of his mates in Math due to the work he did in Spain) and I've landed a great job and OH will be in employment again soon. My goal now is just to get into our own home again and feel like I belong somewhere.

We took a chance and had a great year in Spain, but it wasn't worth the cost. I'm sorry you have lost such a lot in 5 weeks, I totally understand, but as I've been there I can offer support and understanding of your situation. Who knows what is round the corner and sometimes you just have to go for it.

We won't return to Spain, I'm more than happy with our life here and find it hard to see just what pull Spain had for us now. Once bitten, twice shy for me.

Good luck and I wish you all the best, and bugger the ones who think they know best on here.......until they've been and come back they aren't entitled to stick their oars in!

Sparkle x
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Old Mar 21st 2007, 8:46 am
  #52  
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Default Re: [email protected]&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by Sparkle2nite View Post
Hi

I've not been on here for a while as I have been putting my life back together....so to speak. But, I had read that things hadn't worked out for you and I wanted to see if you had posted. I'm so sorry that Spain didn't work out for you and you had the problems you encountered.

As you know we returned from Spain after a year. Things have been hard since we came back, but we are happy to be home again. We gave it our best shot and honestly couldn't have done anymore to make it work.....bar having a ton of money to make up for what we were losing there.

On the 'up' side, I have found the best job I've ever had, and OH has gone for his HGV, something he had longed to do since we met. He's passed the first bit and now waiting to do the artics. Things have been particulary hard for him since our return as he has taken our financial loss as all his fault.

People say we had to make the move or for the rest of our lives we would have lived the 'what if' factor. They are right but I wish with all my heart we had never gone.

Anyway......what I am trying to say is, we lost a lot and since we came home our lives have been in turmoil trying to get on our feet again and coping with what we have lost, our house. BUT, the kids are happy and doing great in school (eldest is even ahead of his mates in Math due to the work he did in Spain) and I've landed a great job and OH will be in employment again soon. My goal now is just to get into our own home again and feel like I belong somewhere.

We took a chance and had a great year in Spain, but it wasn't worth the cost. I'm sorry you have lost such a lot in 5 weeks, I totally understand, but as I've been there I can offer support and understanding of your situation. Who knows what is round the corner and sometimes you just have to go for it.

We won't return to Spain, I'm more than happy with our life here and find it hard to see just what pull Spain had for us now. Once bitten, twice shy for me.

Good luck and I wish you all the best, and bugger the ones who think they know best on here.......until they've been and come back they aren't entitled to stick their oars in!

Sparkle x
Sparkle, sorry you have had a rough time of of it, but if you dont mind me asking, what was it that went wrong for you in spain?
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Old Mar 21st 2007, 9:40 pm
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Default Re: [email protected]&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by cajam31 View Post
Sparkle, sorry you have had a rough time of of it, but if you dont mind me asking, what was it that went wrong for you in spain?
Good question cajam , I would like to know as well , maybe its something us people waitting to go should know about ?
So please tell us ..
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Old Mar 21st 2007, 10:02 pm
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Default Re: [email protected]&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by Sparkle2nite View Post
Hi

I've not been on here for a while as I have been putting my life back together....so to speak. But, I had read that things hadn't worked out for you and I wanted to see if you had posted. I'm so sorry that Spain didn't work out for you and you had the problems you encountered.

As you know we returned from Spain after a year. Things have been hard since we came back, but we are happy to be home again. We gave it our best shot and honestly couldn't have done anymore to make it work.....bar having a ton of money to make up for what we were losing there.

On the 'up' side, I have found the best job I've ever had, and OH has gone for his HGV, something he had longed to do since we met. He's passed the first bit and now waiting to do the artics. Things have been particulary hard for him since our return as he has taken our financial loss as all his fault.

People say we had to make the move or for the rest of our lives we would have lived the 'what if' factor. They are right but I wish with all my heart we had never gone.

Anyway......what I am trying to say is, we lost a lot and since we came home our lives have been in turmoil trying to get on our feet again and coping with what we have lost, our house. BUT, the kids are happy and doing great in school (eldest is even ahead of his mates in Math due to the work he did in Spain) and I've landed a great job and OH will be in employment again soon. My goal now is just to get into our own home again and feel like I belong somewhere.

We took a chance and had a great year in Spain, but it wasn't worth the cost. I'm sorry you have lost such a lot in 5 weeks, I totally understand, but as I've been there I can offer support and understanding of your situation. Who knows what is round the corner and sometimes you just have to go for it.

We won't return to Spain, I'm more than happy with our life here and find it hard to see just what pull Spain had for us now. Once bitten, twice shy for me.

Good luck and I wish you all the best, and bugger the ones who think they know best on here.......until they've been and come back they aren't entitled to stick their oars in!

Sparkle x
Sparkle,because it did not work for you, I am sorry,but you where there for a year,you did your homework before you went didnt you ,and didnt fancy it,but other people have been pulled by Spain and love it,why are you having a go at people that love it,they did there homework too.
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Old Mar 21st 2007, 10:10 pm
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Default Re: [email protected]&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by Big Pete View Post
Good question cajam , I would like to know as well , maybe its something us people waitting to go should know about ?
So please tell us ..
Do your homework,nobody can really answer that question,but your self ,you know why you want to go,its your choice so dont bleat if it all goes wrong,not having a go, but sick of cry stories from people that thought the grass was greener on the other side,if it was easy the place would be FULL.Make it happen for yourself and familly.
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Old Mar 21st 2007, 10:36 pm
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Default Re: [email protected]&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by Douglas jack View Post
Do your homework,nobody can really answer that question,but your self ,you know why you want to go,its your choice so dont bleat if it all goes wrong,not having a go, but sick of cry stories from people that thought the grass was greener on the other side,if it was easy the place would be FULL.Make it happen for yourself and familly.
Yes maybe you have a point ! But what if there is a strange boogey man who lives there and visits you in the small hours ? maybe he likes fresh English people and puts a spell on them ?

Now if we are prepared we can plan ?
We can bring Crosses and garlic and things but if we dont know well we could be turned into Frogs and never be seen again !!!

Risky isnt it ?

ps/ was always bad at homework lol

Last edited by Big Pete; Mar 21st 2007 at 10:38 pm. Reason: ps added ..
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Old Mar 21st 2007, 11:40 pm
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Default Re: [email protected]&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by Big Pete View Post
Yes maybe you have a point ! But what if there is a strange boogey man who lives there and visits you in the small hours ? maybe he likes fresh English people and puts a spell on them ?

Now if we are prepared we can plan ?
We can bring Crosses and garlic and things but if we dont know well we could be turned into Frogs and never be seen again !!!

Risky isnt it ?

ps/ was always bad at homework lol
Enjoy,you aint daft,time to relax.
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Old Mar 22nd 2007, 9:25 am
  #58  
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Default Re: [email protected]&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sparkle was being supportive to Miss Naughty...not running Spain down. She was just sharing her experience with Miss Naughty.

I moved to Spain in June last year. We have loved it here ....even when we were all freezing our bits off as no heating in this old beautiful town house....
(buying heating for next winter no matter what the cost is.....burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr )
For us it's been all that we imagined it would be ...so far....even the red tape and the language barrier....stressful but in our view worth it.

For me personally, I am glad of Sparkles post....I want to know what pitfalls happen, what makes people go back etc.....

She loved Spain,but unfortunately it didn't work out for her and her family. They moved back to the UK and for them it's better. Each to their own, everyone's different and wants different things in life.

Wish you and your family the best of luck Sparkle

Mich x
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Old Mar 22nd 2007, 8:00 pm
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Default Re: [email protected]&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by Douglas jack View Post
Sparkle,because it did not work for you, I am sorry,but you where there for a year,you did your homework before you went didnt you ,and didnt fancy it,but other people have been pulled by Spain and love it,why are you having a go at people that love it,they did there homework too.
Here we go......this is the reason why I stopped coming on here. Please Douglas Jack tell me where I am 'having a go' at people who love Spain? I LOVE SPAIN.......would love to go back and have another go, BUT can't afford to, it cost us dearly and now we have returned we feel we need to get back on our feet again financially and hold on tight to what we can recoup. Yes, we did our homework, yes we were there for one whole year and yes we thought we could make a go of it. BUT, we didn't expect the kids to find things difficult, they were so keen to go. Different schools, different house, different location, could have been a different story.

For us........US, Spain didn't work out, but I would never suggest that anyone should not try it if it is what you want to do. Our lifestyle did not suit us, we worked very long hours and actually spent less time with the kids than we did in England. The main reason we came home was our children did not settle in school. By the end of our stay our youngest was in tears everyday at school, clinging to me not to leave her and literally hanging on the doorframe of the classroom pleading with me not to make her go. I used to come back crying and feeling sick. The teacher gave no support, although he was a lovely man and did try, but it was as if it was the first time he had encountered anything like this. The Spanish kids would be laughing at her and she was spat on and had her hair pulled. I witnessed this in the playground. I even tried to get her to settle in the summer by enrolling her into Summer School and going with her. We lasted two days and quite honestly that was what made me decide to come home. There was no discipline whatsoever and the kids just ran riot. The teacher controlled them by blowing at whistle, which made me nearly fall off my chair. They fought over crayons and took all my daughters felt pens off her. Petty stuff and kids stuff, yes, but coming from an English Primary School where this behaviour never happened was quite a culture shock for her.

Before you shoot me down, this is OUR experience and I would never suggest for one minute that all Spanish Schools are the same. Friends we made had their son in a fab school where they were all taught about each others culture and had a wonderful time. Too late for us by this time, she had had enough and so had I. Lots of 'little' things had started to niggle and added together had us longing to come back.

People tell us we can try again when the kids are older. If they aren't with us then I'm not interested, I want to be where my kids are and where they are happiest. People in Spain couldn't understand why we decided to come home because of the kids........I think a mother can.

So, Douglas Jack, if you know my story and have bothered to read any of my posts I think you will find I offer advice in a positive way and never once have I suggested anything bad of Spain or anyone wanting to move there.

Thankyou to Mrs Eddy and Miss Naughty for your support.

Sparkle
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Old Mar 22nd 2007, 8:07 pm
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Default Re: [email protected]&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by Sparkle2nite View Post
Here we go......this is the reason why I stopped coming on here. Please Douglas Jack tell me where I am 'having a go' at people who love Spain? I LOVE SPAIN.......would love to go back and have another go, BUT can't afford to, it cost us dearly and now we have returned we feel we need to get back on our feet again financially and hold on tight to what we can recoup. Yes, we did our homework, yes we were there for one whole year and yes we thought we could make a go of it. BUT, we didn't expect the kids to find things difficult, they were so keen to go. Different schools, different house, different location, could have been a different story.

For us........US, Spain didn't work out, but I would never suggest that anyone should not try it if it is what you want to do. Our lifestyle did not suit us, we worked very long hours and actually spent less time with the kids than we did in England. The main reason we came home was our children did not settle in school. By the end of our stay our youngest was in tears everyday at school, clinging to me not to leave her and literally hanging on the doorframe of the classroom pleading with me not to make her go. I used to come back crying and feeling sick. The teacher gave no support, although he was a lovely man and did try, but it was as if it was the first time he had encountered anything like this. The Spanish kids would be laughing at her and she was spat on and had her hair pulled. I witnessed this in the playground. I even tried to get her to settle in the summer by enrolling her into Summer School and going with her. We lasted two days and quite honestly that was what made me decide to come home. There was no discipline whatsoever and the kids just ran riot. The teacher controlled them by blowing at whistle, which made me nearly fall off my chair. They fought over crayons and took all my daughters felt pens off her. Petty stuff and kids stuff, yes, but coming from an English Primary School where this behaviour never happened was quite a culture shock for her.

Before you shoot me down, this is OUR experience and I would never suggest for one minute that all Spanish Schools are the same. Friends we made had their son in a fab school where they were all taught about each others culture and had a wonderful time. Too late for us by this time, she had had enough and so had I. Lots of 'little' things had started to niggle and added together had us longing to come back.

People tell us we can try again when the kids are older. If they aren't with us then I'm not interested, I want to be where my kids are and where they are happiest. People in Spain couldn't understand why we decided to come home because of the kids........I think a mother can.

So, Douglas Jack, if you know my story and have bothered to read any of my posts I think you will find I offer advice in a positive way and never once have I suggested anything bad of Spain or anyone wanting to move there.

Thankyou to Mrs Eddy and Miss Naughty for your support.

Sparkle
I can associate with your reasons for coming back i did many years ago consider moving abroad but the kids !! Kids had friends and stuff here a big wrench to them new schools new language scarey for them ..

Now kids are away So now is the time . likewise i am sure when yours are adults and flown the nest . you can return..
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