Bo@&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mar 19th 2007, 5:32 pm
#31
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 99
Re: Bo@&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello Miss N
Yes, I followed your earlier thread with interest, and soooo wanted it to work out for you. But you mustn't feel like you failed. You needed to do this and to find out if it was right for you, and this time around, the circumstances were that it wasn't.
But, hey, we all learn from getting things wrong every now and then (even though it's awful at the time). You are back in the UK, in a familiar language and familiar place. I know you feel bad right now, but you will no doubt pick yourself up and find work again. And when your head is in a better place again, you might find yourself thinking about spain again and you might then be able to decide how you could go forward and make it work this time.
Or you might not. You might know from the last experience that it just ISN'T for you and your family. But you took the big step of trying it. If you hadn't you would only be here in the UK wondering if it would work and wishing that you had tried it. So you couldn't do anything else but what you did do. And there is no shame in saying, I did it, I didn't like it and it's not for me.
It sounds like there were a lot of outside factors that affected your decision but despite the odd comment here and there, I think most people admire you for trying it and are sad for you and your family that it didn't work, but most people were sending you good vibes, not bad ones. take care.
And if you decide to do it all again in a few years don't be put off. It might work next time, it might not, but at least you haven't stood still and wondered.
I hope to move out there with my husband in the next 5 years or so, once our kids are a bit older and finished school.
We have bought a house and we get to spain every 3 months or so and I am learning the language. But we won't have the problem of getting chiildren into schools and work won't be such a big issue but I doubt that it will be as smooth as we would like it to be. We will be homesick and there will be issues we didn't think about...
And whilst I hope it all works out, if it doesn't, we will come home and we will say, we tried it, and it's not for us. And if other people think badly of us, I don't care. And nor should you.
xxx
Yes, I followed your earlier thread with interest, and soooo wanted it to work out for you. But you mustn't feel like you failed. You needed to do this and to find out if it was right for you, and this time around, the circumstances were that it wasn't.
But, hey, we all learn from getting things wrong every now and then (even though it's awful at the time). You are back in the UK, in a familiar language and familiar place. I know you feel bad right now, but you will no doubt pick yourself up and find work again. And when your head is in a better place again, you might find yourself thinking about spain again and you might then be able to decide how you could go forward and make it work this time.
Or you might not. You might know from the last experience that it just ISN'T for you and your family. But you took the big step of trying it. If you hadn't you would only be here in the UK wondering if it would work and wishing that you had tried it. So you couldn't do anything else but what you did do. And there is no shame in saying, I did it, I didn't like it and it's not for me.
It sounds like there were a lot of outside factors that affected your decision but despite the odd comment here and there, I think most people admire you for trying it and are sad for you and your family that it didn't work, but most people were sending you good vibes, not bad ones. take care.
And if you decide to do it all again in a few years don't be put off. It might work next time, it might not, but at least you haven't stood still and wondered.
I hope to move out there with my husband in the next 5 years or so, once our kids are a bit older and finished school.
We have bought a house and we get to spain every 3 months or so and I am learning the language. But we won't have the problem of getting chiildren into schools and work won't be such a big issue but I doubt that it will be as smooth as we would like it to be. We will be homesick and there will be issues we didn't think about...
And whilst I hope it all works out, if it doesn't, we will come home and we will say, we tried it, and it's not for us. And if other people think badly of us, I don't care. And nor should you.
xxx
Mar 19th 2007, 6:00 pm
#32
ex-squaddie
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Aylesbury, UK
Posts: 4,605
Re: Bo@&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't mean to be funny but......
What's brought all this on?
I know some people here questioned your existance and many were suprised that you came back so quickly given your previous enthusiasm but I can't recall anything really hurtful being written (no doubt I'll be told that I've missed the point somewhere).
I admit that it's very difficult when something you've spent time, money and heartache doesn't come off and ends up being a disaster - but we're all guilty of setting ourselves up for a fall by posting our heart's desires on a public forum.
My advice - should you chose to listen to it?.......
I have none!
But I'd be pleased that I'd been brave enough to do something about trying to fulfil my dream instaed of always wondering...what if?
BTW, this thread is now in it's third page. That must mean there are more people here ready to offer support rather than knock you down?
What's brought all this on?
I know some people here questioned your existance and many were suprised that you came back so quickly given your previous enthusiasm but I can't recall anything really hurtful being written (no doubt I'll be told that I've missed the point somewhere).
I admit that it's very difficult when something you've spent time, money and heartache doesn't come off and ends up being a disaster - but we're all guilty of setting ourselves up for a fall by posting our heart's desires on a public forum.
My advice - should you chose to listen to it?.......
I have none!
But I'd be pleased that I'd been brave enough to do something about trying to fulfil my dream instaed of always wondering...what if?
BTW, this thread is now in it's third page. That must mean there are more people here ready to offer support rather than knock you down?
Last edited by derbyflan; Mar 19th 2007 at 6:03 pm.
Mar 19th 2007, 7:00 pm
#33
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2006
Location: el puerto, cadiz province
Posts: 312
Re: Bo@&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey miss n.
I wont reply to this, you know how I feel it's all the pm.
Keep your pecker up chicken, i know where you are coming from, i think you have done the right thing in posting this,it can help to get things of your chest and out in the open.
Love you
maryann x x x
Two good sayings.............................
Walk a mile in my shoes, then judge me.
This is a good one
Above all else, to thine own selve be true.
I wont reply to this, you know how I feel it's all the pm.
Keep your pecker up chicken, i know where you are coming from, i think you have done the right thing in posting this,it can help to get things of your chest and out in the open.
Love you
maryann x x x
Two good sayings.............................
Walk a mile in my shoes, then judge me.
This is a good one
Above all else, to thine own selve be true.
Mar 19th 2007, 8:05 pm
#34
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: lincoln
Posts: 1,871
Re: Bo@&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't mean to be funny but......
What's brought all this on?
I know some people here questioned your existance and many were suprised that you came back so quickly given your previous enthusiasm but I can't recall anything really hurtful being written (no doubt I'll be told that I've missed the point somewhere).
I admit that it's very difficult when something you've spent time, money and heartache doesn't come off and ends up being a disaster - but we're all guilty of setting ourselves up for a fall by posting our heart's desires on a public forum.
My advice - should you chose to listen to it?.......
I have none!
But I'd be pleased that I'd been brave enough to do something about trying to fulfil my dream instaed of always wondering...what if?
BTW, this thread is now in it's third page. That must mean there are more people here ready to offer support rather than knock you down?
What's brought all this on?
I know some people here questioned your existance and many were suprised that you came back so quickly given your previous enthusiasm but I can't recall anything really hurtful being written (no doubt I'll be told that I've missed the point somewhere).
I admit that it's very difficult when something you've spent time, money and heartache doesn't come off and ends up being a disaster - but we're all guilty of setting ourselves up for a fall by posting our heart's desires on a public forum.
My advice - should you chose to listen to it?.......
I have none!
But I'd be pleased that I'd been brave enough to do something about trying to fulfil my dream instaed of always wondering...what if?
BTW, this thread is now in it's third page. That must mean there are more people here ready to offer support rather than knock you down?
Just things on certain thread's and other ppl's doubts which i decided to post this.
I appreciate everyone's pm's and honest talking. I have never been against straight talking but some it got personal xxxxx
Mar 19th 2007, 8:07 pm
#35
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Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: lincoln
Posts: 1,871
Re: Bo@&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey miss n.
I wont reply to this, you know how I feel it's all the pm.
Keep your pecker up chicken, i know where you are coming from, i think you have done the right thing in posting this,it can help to get things of your chest and out in the open.
Love you
maryann x x x
Two good sayings.............................
Walk a mile in my shoes, then judge me.
This is a good one
Above all else, to thine own selve be true.
I wont reply to this, you know how I feel it's all the pm.
Keep your pecker up chicken, i know where you are coming from, i think you have done the right thing in posting this,it can help to get things of your chest and out in the open.
Love you
maryann x x x
Two good sayings.............................
Walk a mile in my shoes, then judge me.
This is a good one
Above all else, to thine own selve be true.
Hi,
Just to let you know i might have a job interview i am awaiting a phone call so thing's here seem a bit better, than this morning.
Love the sayings xxxx
Love Emxxx
Mar 19th 2007, 8:53 pm
#36
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 275
Re: Bo@&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In the 5 weeks in spain and having a difficult time we never argued since being back we have bickered a lot since. Mainly because the reason's we left are here and worse lol lol.
We will get through it and we will try again.
But Even 3 years of planning it only took us 5 weeks to come back lol.
PPl say well call it a long holiday i call it bankrupt lol lol.
Anyway car is at a compound in heathrow and will be here saturday, it has everything still in it i.e t.v camera, and copier, bedding and mary are lousy sat nav.
So once i get it back i will upload some fab pics of spain that we took.xxxxx
We will get through it and we will try again.
But Even 3 years of planning it only took us 5 weeks to come back lol.
PPl say well call it a long holiday i call it bankrupt lol lol.
Anyway car is at a compound in heathrow and will be here saturday, it has everything still in it i.e t.v camera, and copier, bedding and mary are lousy sat nav.
So once i get it back i will upload some fab pics of spain that we took.xxxxx
Mar 19th 2007, 8:58 pm
#37
Straw Man.
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: That, there, that's not my post count... nothing to see here, move along.
Posts: 46,302
Re: Bo@&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So do we know what we are saying Bollo(ks to?
Mar 19th 2007, 9:10 pm
#38
Banned
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: Hoping to get away from UK to Spain
Posts: 1,826
Re: Bo@&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woo hooo 
You know I would never attempt to defend anyone here as I doubt if I have read all the posts and may have missed some that have riled you. I would say though that from a personal point of view I was absolutely dumbfounded when I realised you were back in England. I was seriously stunned as all of your posts building up to the move were just so positive it was just not possible that it never worked after five weeks. I think everyone and I mean everyone here were just as stunned. The enormity of it rightly or wrongly caused some to question if the legend that we know as Naughty was a spoof. Like the Hitler diarys or bigfoot, the fairies at the bottom of that blokes garden that were photographed in the 30s for instance. Naughty back in blighty was a probably a common topic in homes in the UK and Spain it was in ours anyway. We are planning to move over and you seemed miles ahead of us and your enthusiasm for the move was infectious at times. It just wasnt possible that it would not work out for you. You just oozed the mental strength and confidence to make it work that everyone assumed it was a given you would be sunning yourself on a terrace somewhere and posting here regular from Espania. I think you caught everyone on the hop but probably more importantly everyone sat up and realised that this is not a picnic. Its bloody difficult stuff this moving to Spain. In another thread "not doing a Naughty" is mentioned and for good reason. If naughty never made it must be tougher than tough! You are a diamond who tried and backed off (not failed) as circumstances went against you. As I have said elsewhere many a fool would have ploughed on blindly, you did not. You knew in your gut it did not feel right and you took the hardest decision Naughty. The easiest thing would have been to stay and muddle through and then finish up back in England divided possibly. You are back, as a family, and being an obvious battler will soon be up and running dont worry about that. You are an inspiration for trying and I for one think your great
You know I would never attempt to defend anyone here as I doubt if I have read all the posts and may have missed some that have riled you. I would say though that from a personal point of view I was absolutely dumbfounded when I realised you were back in England. I was seriously stunned as all of your posts building up to the move were just so positive it was just not possible that it never worked after five weeks. I think everyone and I mean everyone here were just as stunned. The enormity of it rightly or wrongly caused some to question if the legend that we know as Naughty was a spoof. Like the Hitler diarys or bigfoot, the fairies at the bottom of that blokes garden that were photographed in the 30s for instance. Naughty back in blighty was a probably a common topic in homes in the UK and Spain it was in ours anyway. We are planning to move over and you seemed miles ahead of us and your enthusiasm for the move was infectious at times. It just wasnt possible that it would not work out for you. You just oozed the mental strength and confidence to make it work that everyone assumed it was a given you would be sunning yourself on a terrace somewhere and posting here regular from Espania. I think you caught everyone on the hop but probably more importantly everyone sat up and realised that this is not a picnic. Its bloody difficult stuff this moving to Spain. In another thread "not doing a Naughty" is mentioned and for good reason. If naughty never made it must be tougher than tough! You are a diamond who tried and backed off (not failed) as circumstances went against you. As I have said elsewhere many a fool would have ploughed on blindly, you did not. You knew in your gut it did not feel right and you took the hardest decision Naughty. The easiest thing would have been to stay and muddle through and then finish up back in England divided possibly. You are back, as a family, and being an obvious battler will soon be up and running dont worry about that. You are an inspiration for trying and I for one think your great 
I agree 100% with Smarties , hes just saved me all the typing...And i wish you all the best for the future , whatever you decide ..
Mar 19th 2007, 9:58 pm
#39
Banned
Joined: Dec 2006
Location: Living in a good place
Posts: 8,824
Re: Bo@&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The best of luck but to be honest 5 weeks is no time to decide whether you want to stay in a place, no bitchiness just a fact of life. Something that can seem awful for 3 months or more can suddenly feel just right, maybe you just weren't ready for the move.
Mar 19th 2007, 10:07 pm
#40
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: lincoln
Posts: 1,871
Mar 19th 2007, 10:08 pm
#41
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Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: lincoln
Posts: 1,871
Mar 19th 2007, 10:45 pm
#43
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Manchester
Posts: 309
Re: Bo@&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woo hooo You know I would never attempt to defend anyone here as I doubt if I have read all the posts and may have missed some that have riled you. I would say though that from a personal point of view I was absolutely dumbfounded when I realised you were back in England. I was seriously stunned as all of your posts building up to the move were just so positive it was just not possible that it never worked after five weeks. I think everyone and I mean everyone here were just as stunned. The enormity of it rightly or wrongly caused some to question if the legend that we know as Naughty was a spoof. Like the Hitler diarys or bigfoot, the fairies at the bottom of that blokes garden that were photographed in the 30s for instance. Naughty back in blighty was a probably a common topic in homes in the UK and Spain it was in ours anyway. We are planning to move over and you seemed miles ahead of us and your enthusiasm for the move was infectious at times. It just wasnt possible that it would not work out for you. You just oozed the mental strength and confidence to make it work that everyone assumed it was a given you would be sunning yourself on a terrace somewhere and posting here regular from Espania. I think you caught everyone on the hop but probably more importantly everyone sat up and realised that this is not a picnic. Its bloody difficult stuff this moving to Spain. In another thread "not doing a Naughty" is mentioned and for good reason. If naughty never made it must be tougher than tough! You are a diamond who tried and backed off (not failed) as circumstances went against you. As I have said elsewhere many a fool would have ploughed on blindly, you did not. You knew in your gut it did not feel right and you took the hardest decision Naughty. The easiest thing would have been to stay and muddle through and then finish up back in England divided possibly. You are back, as a family, and being an obvious battler will soon be up and running dont worry about that. You are an inspiration for trying and I for one think your great
You know I would never attempt to defend anyone here as I doubt if I have read all the posts and may have missed some that have riled you. I would say though that from a personal point of view I was absolutely dumbfounded when I realised you were back in England. I was seriously stunned as all of your posts building up to the move were just so positive it was just not possible that it never worked after five weeks. I think everyone and I mean everyone here were just as stunned. The enormity of it rightly or wrongly caused some to question if the legend that we know as Naughty was a spoof. Like the Hitler diarys or bigfoot, the fairies at the bottom of that blokes garden that were photographed in the 30s for instance. Naughty back in blighty was a probably a common topic in homes in the UK and Spain it was in ours anyway. We are planning to move over and you seemed miles ahead of us and your enthusiasm for the move was infectious at times. It just wasnt possible that it would not work out for you. You just oozed the mental strength and confidence to make it work that everyone assumed it was a given you would be sunning yourself on a terrace somewhere and posting here regular from Espania. I think you caught everyone on the hop but probably more importantly everyone sat up and realised that this is not a picnic. Its bloody difficult stuff this moving to Spain. In another thread "not doing a Naughty" is mentioned and for good reason. If naughty never made it must be tougher than tough! You are a diamond who tried and backed off (not failed) as circumstances went against you. As I have said elsewhere many a fool would have ploughed on blindly, you did not. You knew in your gut it did not feel right and you took the hardest decision Naughty. The easiest thing would have been to stay and muddle through and then finish up back in England divided possibly. You are back, as a family, and being an obvious battler will soon be up and running dont worry about that. You are an inspiration for trying and I for one think your great
Mar 19th 2007, 10:48 pm
#44
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Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: lincoln
Posts: 1,871
Re: Bo@&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Even VP was stunned as Miss Naughty's problems arose and despite the banter I can assure I wish you and your family well and empathise with your issues. I sincerely do hope that you get things back to norm I wouldn't wish you and the family any less ' God bless you, It must have been trumatic time.xx
Mar 20th 2007, 12:22 am
#45
Livin' in Spain at last!
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: La Hortichuela Almeria
Posts: 862
Re: Bo@&*$ks to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi missnaughty,
The long and the short of it:
You had the guts to TRY
You returned to the UK for, in my opinion, admirable reasons
You felt it wasn't right after 5 weeks? How is that wrong?
You sign yourelf as LOST
You will FIND yourself babe, and when you do, you will know!
One day at a time will get your confidence back!
The best piece of advice I ever had was:
Don't worry about the things you can do nothing about, conentrate on the things you can.
Good luck Hun
Chris XXX
The long and the short of it:
You had the guts to TRY
You returned to the UK for, in my opinion, admirable reasons
You felt it wasn't right after 5 weeks? How is that wrong?
You sign yourelf as LOST
You will FIND yourself babe, and when you do, you will know!
One day at a time will get your confidence back!
The best piece of advice I ever had was:
Don't worry about the things you can do nothing about, conentrate on the things you can.
Good luck Hun
Chris XXX