Tirytory

Daft title, but would really like some thoughts.

Throughout this immigration process, I have swung between real excitement at the idea of living somewhere new/adventure and the fact that I really love my life here. Even though it was me and a conversation about the weather that started it off, my husband long took over on his desire to escape the NHS and his decreasing salary and heavily increasing workload, and has pushed the process on with the occasional episode from me halting the process.

I was genuinely excited last week when he had the work permit approval, but since then and especially the thread yesterday about being lonely has really worried me. We are a very social family, and our week and weekend mostly involve family and friends. It's unusual for us to be alone. I really wish I could just transport them with us. If we stay in the UK, I can see our future mapped out and it's a good one, Canada is a complete uncertainty. I'm worried that it will be a couple of years loneliness for me and why would you inflict that on yourself? I'm a staff nurse and love where I work and my colleagues, but it looks unlikely that will be an option for me over there. I work days and my boss is great and really flexible. It's been so long that I genuinely can't remember why I personally wanted to leave. Is this fear and worry normal or is it something that I need to listen to?

Maybe we've chosen the wrong place to go to, too small compared to where we live now, certainly no rugby team for my 8yr old-we do love our rugby in Wales!! I can't figure it all out, and think I might end us up in Canada by default, in that I feel reluctant to say no to an opportunity, albeit a very expensive self manufactured opportunity. If someone could figure out my psyche where I am failing that would be great or if you've experienced the same thing and any insight.

Aviator

If it is a certainty, you know what you are giving up, as most of us did.

Any new experience is an uncertainty. If I knew the future, I would have made a few different decisions, not many. My lotto tickets would have won me the jackpot.

It might, but guess depends on you having to work at building new relationships.

Maybe that answers your questions.

The question is not who has gone through this same decision making process, but who has not? Many people have taken chances and gambled, some did well others did not. The future is uncertain, it is by and large what we make of it.

JonboyE

IMO very normal.

rivingtonpike

Crikey! If your doubts are that strong and your life as acceptable in Wales as it seems to be, what is the attraction in coming to Canada? It's a HUGE step to take on a "what might it be like" basis. Very few people "have" to come here. I think to make something really work you have to want to do it. We didn't move to Finland or Fiji for the simple reason we didn't want to. But we did want to move to Canada so did what was necessary to make it work. Canada isn't for everyone - just because it's here!

Follow your heart! Good luck....

Piff Poff

If your having sleepless nights, listen to the doubts IMO.

Oink

Stay with your nice life.
The weather is much worse here.

Steve_

Yeah it does sound like you've got little in the way of reason to move (other than your husband), but I think the question really is, where are you moving to?

My impression on here is that people who move to small towns seem to be the ones who come to grief the most.

Oink

To me it seems the ones who seem struggle the most have crap or no jobs.

Steve_

Well that usually is the same thing, small town, crap job.

Steve_

Anyway having done this several times, everyone gets cold feet moving, the trick to it is to only think about the positives. It's very easy to come up with reasons to not do something. Human beings are social, territorial animals, there has to be a reason to move.

Shard

Turn on the red flashing light please! This does not sound as though it is going to end well. if you have a close knit family, enjoy your job and colleagues, enjoy being Welsh, and have doubts on Canada, you really might want to rethink things before you commit. Just my gut reaction to your post - I may be wrong.

manitobain

I beg to differ. I even live outside a small town and just love it...just cause you need city life, you can't expect everyone wanting the same.

Crapy job on the other hand would cause more hardship (it's Monday and I am leaning toward it at the very moment but just cause I love my weekends more than work)

Oink

To be more precise, low paying crappy job.

Tirytory

It won't be a low paid crappy job . Husband is a GP. Off to Bracebridge approx 15, 000, although we're used to a city and it's amenities. My husband wants to move for a perceived better work life balance, better pay etc. It's true that he has to work very hard in the uk to maintain a very modest lifestyle, and the children complain that he works so hard. Trouble is when he's off working doing his extra stuff, I have friends to rely on. Once we get there, he is going to have do a lot of extra work, two exams to revise and pass, supervision to write up etc. It's not going to be plain sailing once we get there.

I feel really I could stay so easily, but he really wants to go and it would be unfair to stamp on his dreams. No sleeplessness, bad dreams about being late though! Maybe for Canada-perhaps it's a sign.

MillieF

Have you Sat down and Really Discussed this with your husband? You have to really weigh up the pros and cons. Life in Canada can be good or bad, but it's always going to be different, and only you can know if it's possible to be happy. I do think that sometimes a move might be good for a family as a 'whole' but not necessarily for the individuals concerned. My husband is relatively happy, but there are aspects of the Canadian psyche that drives him nuts, my son is ecstatically happy, doing well, and has flowered as a young adult....and maybe he would have done had we not moved too. He cannot think of one Canadian negative except 'the food'. I am starting to settle more. Therefore for us this is a success.

The thread on loneliness may have unsettled you, but it is perhaps better that you are aware that this could be possible....you on the other hand might make friends immediately and be happy as hell.....it's probably only us poor Billy No Mates who are on here, all the rest are off out having a riot with chums

Only a complete fool (as an adult with children) would undertake such a huge move without reservations, it is entirely normal.