I have just received an email.. and it has totally knocked me for six

Its from my brothers daughter... and I just don't know how to reply.. maybe some of you may be able to help..

My brother was in the British Army and was stationed in Germany. He met a German girl and they got married in England (they were still living in Germany). About a year after that they had a little Girl. They were both really young and I know they were having some difficulties.. although they were very much in love. Anyway in 1993, 3 weeks before I got married I received a phone call to say that my brother, who was on holiday in Portugal, had had a car accident. He was on holiday with his wife, her sister and my ex. Long story short, my brother was in a coma and they flew him back to England. He spent a couple of months in Woolwich Military Hospital. His wife and his daughter came to stay with me and my 'about to be' husband. My niece was just one at the time. The accident was in the October and by the December my sister in law had decided that she was going to return to her family in Germany. It was heart breaking for all of us... some of the family felt that she was abandoning my brother and others felt that they could sympathise with her position. I have always felt, there but for the grace of god go I.. I don't know what I would have done in her situation, but who knows how we would really react..

Anyway, my brother was then transfered to a residental home, which thankfully just so happened to be about 8 miles from my Dads house in Northampton. He is still there to this day. But he is doing really good, most people probably wouldn't know that he has a Head Injury.. he has learnt to compensate for his disabilities. He is still only 39

Over the years I know that his wife has kept in touch with him... and I know his daughter has sent him cards etc., and also he has talked to her on the phone occasionally. Its bizarre really.. all the things my brother had to re-learn, his german has never faultered. I was sending her Birthday and Christmas gifts up until a few years back (she is 16 now).

So anyway I get an email today saying, Hello, I have a question for you.. are you the sister of my Dad Joseph..? Write soon xx

I have no idea how she got my email, I don't know how to reply. I'm overjoyed to hear from her, but i guess i'm apprehensive as to what to say.. I would love her to be in our lives if she wants to. I have been a shit auntie, I should have kept in better touch with her. We are a HUGE family, I have 10 brothers and Sisters, my dad has 10 brothers and sisters... she has a great (if not a little crazy) family here if she wants to be part of it.

Sorry that was so long... feels good to get it out though..

Thanks xx

I've had an email from my (given up for adoption at birth) sister saying "I think you are the kid they kept, I'm the one they gave away". So I know where you are coming from!

Just reply and say it's nice to hear from them and you hope they are all doing well. If she comes back with questions then you can decide whether you want to answer them.

Start off slowly ..yes you are ..your glad to hear from her
ask about her life ... no recriminations from you.. about your failing ..to keep in touch .. that can come later

remember she was nervous about writing to you..
soft and fluffy to start ..

I know that situation only too well. I used to keep in touch with my dad as a kid, but not often, and we never really met up much or anything. I hadn't seen my relatives on my dad's side since I was 5 years old. I met up with them again when I was 19, and although we don't really keep in touch anymore it was really great to meet up with everyone again and it was like we had never been apart. If you feel that you want to stay in touch with her and would like to include her in your family, then meet her with enthusiasm and with open arms. It must have taken a lot of courage for her to contact you, I know that the times I have contacted my dad I have been so nervous and it is scary to break the ice. You can't change the past, but you can make the future a good one. Good luck!

Thanks so much.. Yes bless her she must have been very nervous, I'll email her now.. I'll keep you updated. xx

I just spoke to my Dad back home, and he said that he had heard from my brothers home that my niece was coming to see my brother in July.

My SIL did bring her to see my brother a few years back but none of us knew anything about it until we saw photos up in my brothers room. My Dad said that he tried to email her a couple of times a few years back.. but the reply he got was really addressed more to my brother. She may have got confused because my Dad and Brother have the exact same name.

I hope as a family we can make up for all these years.. if thats what she wants.

I'm sure things will be ok between you two, you have nothing to feel guilty about it was her Mum that took her away from the rest of you.

I agree with everything you've said Ray. Sambapink if you want to start up a relationship with your niece go for it. Just think of all the things you can tell her about her father...things she would never find out from anyone else. I have absolutely no memories of my late father...I never knew his relatives even though they lived in the same city.

How cool is that for a young girl to find she has an aunt living in California.

Thanks Jerseygirl... I have received an email back from my niece.. she was just happy to hear from me and really wanted to keep in touch.. she asked about my children, her cousins She is going to visit my brother in July and said she would love to meet us.. she doesn;t know that we are in California.

She appears to be able to write brillient english.. so thats going to make things alot easier! I think I will start of gently and send her pictures etc.., My 2 girls want to email her too., I think that would be ok ... although I don;t want to bombard the girl..

I'm a very happy Bunny...

Great stuff

oh i love it when a plan comes together!

You could even send her a short family cam recording or voice recording
lots of waves .smiles and laughing ..

Thats a really great idea... Maybe we'll try something like that..

I use this for sending vid email of myself performing

http://www.freegabmail.com/Composer/Composer.html