Judy in Calgary

In the Wiki thread, flashman recommended the creation of a Wiki article on attitudes that would assist in migration and integration in a new country.

I think that's a great idea.

We all know (or at least I hope we know) that no amount of preparation and "right attitude" can guarantee that a person will settle happily in another country.

But there are attitudes that can go a long way towards smoothing the transition.

So, which attitudes do you think are helpful when you land in a new country?

This is by way of research for a new Wiki article.

Mountain Girl

It helps to have an open minded attitude, and to accept that day to day things will be done differently.

hot wasabi peas

'Drop the ethnocentrism' was/is my own self-advice and likely advice I would give to people who migrate.

Anthropologist Wade Davis, has a quote which I like - actually I don't love the quote but the poster that I have that the quote on is very nice and it reminds me that "there is another world and it's within in this one" (I forget who said that). Anyway, the quote: "The world in which you were born is just one model of reality. Other cultures are not failed attempts at being you; they are unique manifestations of the human spirit."

hot wasabi peas

Oh! Most importantly, focus on having FUN!!!

ladymoose

Once you get here, demonstrate a willingness to discuss subjects which may not be what you are used to or what you are initially interested in.

For example: when I arrived I really didn't like talking about horses - no interest at all. But so many people I met lived and breathed their horses that if I didn't find some interest in this subject, I would be struggling to start a conversation and would have to give up on getting to know these people better. As soon as I showed an interest, people opened up to me, introduced my son to riding, and I discovered that we did have other things in common after all. Some of my best friends are horse freaks!

Second example: my FIL recently visited. He is used to sitting in the pub discussing the woes of the world (namely politics, history (of Europe) etc) with any one who will listen - and in Dublin he can find many people to talk to about this. After his visit here he was very derogatory about the lack of interest people showed in the bars to discuss this stuff and generally accused them of having a very insular view. I pointed out that he had not asked them about the things that concerned them ie crops, livestock, land, real estate, hockey etc or about their views of history etc from their own location. If he'd started off talking to people about what concerned them in their daily lives - maybe the conversation could have evolved to other things over time. He also might have been surprised and gained an actual interest in some of these subjects he was so derogatory about.

ladymoose

We crossed posted! These is very similar to the point I was trying to make with my examples! Cheers

iaink

A lack of preconceptions is probably the most important thing

That and a willingness to accept the canadian way of going about things for what it is. You arent going to change it, so you might as well accept it.

bazzz

As a Brit in a former Empire dominion, you have a divine right to live here. As such, you should be afforded special privileges and not be treated the same as all the other filthy immigrants.

ann m

This could shape up to be an interesting Wiki Judy. But stand by for one hundred different opinions Here are mine !!

Be really, really honest with yourself! Look deep inside yourself first, and to your relationships and your (extended) family. I won't go all warm and fuzzy here, but I think this is fundamental. And sit quietly and honestly analyse your reasons. I think it possible that many people are 'running away' as opposed to 'running to' their preferred destination. As far as Canada is concerned, you really need to want to come here - in my opinion. I would equate it to those people who think a baby will solve all their relationship problems. They are so wrong.

I generally think it unwise to uproot families on a whim - most of the time the lengthy immigration process prevents that anyway. But occasionally, you do hear about people who are so surprised by an enormous amount of elements of their new home. They become bogged down and overwhelmed by all things different. If you've made it as far as reading this site or this thread, you already have an invaluable tool at your fingertips! Do your research, and visit, several times if possible. It's a big wide world out there - embrace what it has to offer, embrace who it has to offer. Don't bring a bucketfull of preconceived ideas about how things will be - be flexible and compromising. But if you know you are truly crap at being flexible and taking compromises, then please think again.

I'm not so specifically thinking about people who get transferred within their jobs (without too much choice), or those who just want to try somewhere else for a few years. I'm thinking more about those in their 30's, 40's and 50's who purposefully embark on a whole new chapter of their lives (most of the contributors to this site, I would say) - those who fundamentally move everything, anticipating it to be a pretty permanent move.

Accept, from the outset, that if things don't work out, you can go home again and it might simply boil down to being a very expensive experiment. Can you graciously shrug your shoulders and take it on the chin ? Be honest.

Homesickness is the one element that cannot so easily be analysed beforehand - and that is the huge emotional element that is hard to anticipate or quantify. And people have described it as crippling. Again, and this is just my thoughts, I think you can go someway to working out beforehand what or who may affect you though, then at least you won't be surprised if it hits, or hits hard. Are you really, really close to your parents, or do you see them occasionally, or under sufferance? Are they an integral part of your lives with daily/weekly visits and child-care? Is your brother your best mate? Is your best mate someone you've never been apart from for more than three weeks? Do you absolutely love your home town, even knowing the horrible parts? What do you fundamentally like doing with your time, given the choice? Is any of that available in your new home? I'm not saying that any or all of these things should prevent you from leaving - but you should weigh up the importance of this type of thing.

Again, my own opinion, those that run off into the distance shouting how much they hate the UK, everything has gone to the dogs, etc, are often those that return, eating their words. Actually, it wasn't so bad afterall. Those that head off, saying they like the UK, but want to try something new, are already more open-minded, and will most likely settle.

And finally, just accept that not everything will be perfect. How can it be? But if you anticipate finding a big swing in the old life-balance thing, and more importantly, you are lucky enough to actually find it when you get there, you are surely half way there ...

Nearly all of us have a wobbly, emotional farewell - it's normal. Others go skipping off the aeroplane, giggling like a demented cartoon character - that's normal too. Try and enjoy the whole experience but just accept that sometimes you will have a shit day. Don't let the shit days outweigh the good ones.

So - happy emigrating everyone

Atlantic Xpat

Quite right. It's also the done thing to mutter 'Damn Colonials' under your breath when some Canadian chappie doesn't do it right.

Oakvillian

A fine sentiment... reminds me of whoever-it-is's prayer (I should probably google) - God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I cannot accept; and wisdom to know the difference between the two. It's one of the few pieces of (modern) churchy stuff I like.

startwin

Remember that you are in a new country, and do not anticipate or expect that everything will be the same as in the UK. If it was, there'd be no point in coming here. Accept and adapt, and enjoy.

Hobbess

With coming to Canada, know that things will be the same but different.

I.e. the big things are similair, people still speak English (as long as your not in Quebec, but why would anyone go there anyway...), people like a beer and to talk about sport, schools, supermarkets, shops etc all exist.

But the differences are in the little things, like branding sure you can buy Pasta sauce but it's not Ragu, size of portions, Hockey is a religion, chips don't go well with vinegar and so on. Learn to accept and enjoy these little differences and you'll go a long way to settling in.

Also one of the better observations that I got when I first got over way back on University exchange was that the bigger shock can come when you head home for a visit. While you've been away you will have gone through big changes, experienced lots of things and so when you return there can be an expectation that others will have gone through similiar, but generally not much will have changed.

Finally know that the world is pretty small these days. Flights home are reasonably plentiful and Skype with a webcam is a cheap easy way to stay in touch.

Edna Bucket

If you intend to uproot several kids and are going through a lengthy application process accept that whilst your life is on hold, theirs ISN'T.

The chances of a large family all wanting the same thing are not great and the more time that elapses the greater the chance that at least one person will have something in their life to make them not want to emigrate.

MikeUK

Unless that's exactly why you got the work permit and the job

then you have to realise that digging something out of a rut is a slow and often painful process and bloody frustrating most of the time