AVW

My daughter who was aged 19 yestarday has just left this morning to go back to Scotland ......Iam so upset....and feel such a sense of terrible loss we have been here for 12 weeks, she has returned to continue with uni back in Scotland. I never thought I would feel like this.
We are all so happy here in Australia but I now dont know if I I will be able to be apart from her and also having thoughts of returning... Is there any others out there in a similar position ?
I would love to hear from anyone who has a child returned to UK.
Many Thanks
Anne

sasbear

Oh dear - I have gone through it and am still - but it does get easier.

Turtletom - my son, who used to post on here, went back in April this year. He is also 19 (now 20) - best wishes and remember - you can get through this - with help and support - and time.

xxx

Wendy

I have a son who is also 19 and lives in the UK. He's just over visiting at the minute, but goes back next Friday

It isn't easy with them being all that way away, but they are adults and have their own lives to live, and their own choices to make.

Like Sarah said, it does get easier and you can speak to them all the time on the phone or skype (although all I get is grunts, you know what teenagers are like ).

I know just where you are coming from, but don't make any hasty decisions just yet. After all even if you go back there's nothing saying that in a couple of years time she won't up and move to another country anyway and you'll be stuck in the UK wishing you'd stayed here.

AVW

Thanks...right now doesnt feel so good , I know I have to get my act together for the sake of my other 2 kids they are hurting too and my husband I know.
Ive cried for a week leading up to this day.... my mum died last year and it feels the same terrible I know but cant help it.

AVW

Wendy

I know Iam being selfish I guess we are so happy here and had such fun I want her to be part of all this.....

Wendy

It's not being selfish honey, it's being a Mum Trouble is, they think they know it all

Once she's finished Uni, she may come back. Maybe even before then when she realises how hard it is on your own for the first time, especially when the novelty wears off

BandS

Hi Anne

My son is also in the UK. He is 22 and has just finished his Uni time. I would give anything for him to move over here but understand that he has his own life to lead.

We talk on the phone and exchange emails every week and all I have said to him is that if he would like to come over for a year and see how it goes then I will pay for him to come and if after a year he wants to go back then I will pay for that as well.

Don't rush into any decisions......you can always email me for a chat if you want to

Sharon

nightnurse2

Just wanted to send you a cyber hug
(((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))

John50

Just want to send my best wishes to you and your family
My 2 daughters 21 and 23 are in the UK leading their own lives i miss them both so much but we all have to do our own thing, You can`t live in their pockets and they can`t live in yours.

Take care

Poppett44

Aaaw I really feel for you.
My son is 18, we've been here for 10 months but he just can't settle and I'm pretty sure that once he has finished his college course he will head back to the UK.
One part of me hates the thought but the other half wants to see the happy smiling boy with loads of friends that I used to know, and if that means he needs to live in the UK I have to accept it.
Its much tougher for teenagers to come here and settle, some come and have a ball and some pine for their old life.

PM me anytime for a chat if you want to

cranni

You are not being selfish.
Im selfish, I need my kids here, I ve paid out 32,000 over 2 years for my son an international student , to have him here.
My daughter came out 2 years ago, she hated it at first, I went through hell, worried if she would go back, a few weeks ago she went back for a holiday, she kept texting me saying how much she loved it back home, I was heartbroken and worried [again], then she text me at end of holiday saying "hi mum, just to let you know Im ok, see you soon, i cant wait to come home" , I broke down with happiness.
My oldest is still yet to get visa, and is int he process of being sponsored, he had to do it in his own time.
Soon I will have all 6 here, and cant wait, but its been the hardest 2 and a half years for me, and i think I have aged about 10 years.
Be strong, sending you a big hug
Denise x

AVW

Thankyou everyone ,for the kind words .
During the visa process my daughter decided that she didnt want to come however we went ahead and managed to get a visa for her, we came out here 2 weeks ahead of her as she had exams, I knew she was only coming for 2.5 months and returning to UK but I guess deep down part of me thought she would stay and it is only the last week that reality hit me that she wasnt going to and this morning taking her to the airport was one of the hardest things ever iam heart broken. I know she will be just fine back in Scotand we have left her a car, she has a flat and we will continue to support her every month , she is a smart girl who is going into her 2nd year of Medicine something she has wanted to do since a small child and worked so hard for...we have had such fun over the last 2.5 months she is fun to be around and now the house isnt the same with out her . I know she must live her life now but I cant help feeling as if Ive lost so much the thought of not seeing her for months and months is awful...
I never dreamt I would feel like this a year ago when it was decided she wasnt coming to stay.
Thanks again everyone
anne

cranni

The only way I can describe it is Grief.
My daughter did not come here same time as us, she came 6 month later, the 6 six month was hell for me, I ended up on ant- depressents, first time in my life, I could not eat or sleep, and I cried my self to sleep, every night, she had to want this as well. So you can imagine how relived I am that she chose to stay here and go to Uni here.
My heart really does go out to you, as I have tears in my eyes and Im ready to go out, makeup running.what can I say to make it easier, only that she is also feeling very sad, and will be missing you so much that she will return,
Denise xx

AVW

Thanks Denise
Your right it is grief as I said earlier the last time I felt like this was when my mum died suddenly last year..... and I know that is wrong as she has her life something that is very precious. Who knows tommorow I may feel a bit better ..... I hope she will miss us , I will speak to her tonight when she arrive in Hong Kong she has a 8 hour wait there before flying to London and then Edinburgh...going to try to get my act together before John comes home from work as I know he is hurting as well and so are my wee ones.
Will speak soon
anne

sasbear

I feel for eeryone in this situation - and there are many.

I left my daughter back in the UK - she was on the visa application and at the last minute decided to stay with her dad - she was 14 at the time. I haven't seen here since. I went back to the UK in April but she wouldn't see me- it kills you inside.

I take each day without her as one more day and have to try and carry on.

When my son went back it broke me.

Sorry I am crying so have to stop..