What faux pas have you commited in trying to speak French?
Jan 5th 2011, 8:32 am
#31
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Location: Halfway between Ricard & Absynthe
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Re: What faux pas have you commited in trying to speak French?
Firstly, let me say that I decline responsibility for anyone who may wet themselves after reading this.
Secondly it's a faux pas that was made not by myself, but by a best pal who was also a work colleague at the time. And I sware it's true, let's be fair, not even I could make something like this up.
This happened a number of years ago. In France. The friend I mentioned had taken very elementary school french. I never had. With what little I knew I would tip-toe carefully, almost whispering out my carefully prepared french phrases. He on the other hand was as proud as a peacock with the words that he'd learnt, and went out of his way to practice what little french he knew, but NEVER with any caution. He would tutoyer everyone much to my constant embarrassment, even one day when I introduced him to an important airline manager!
He was an artist at jumping in at the proverbial deep-end when he should have been carefully paddling in the French shallow pool. At the best of times he was unconsciously coming out with hilarious faux-pas, and wondering why people were laughing!
My wife had been admitted to the maternity clinic, and was recovering from the trauma of a still-birth - this would have been our first child.
My pal had been informed of our sad news, and instead of paying my wife and myself a quiet visit, came in the morning after with his wife and their two very young (somewhat hyperactive) kids. The visit of our friends was appreciated by my wife, but the presence of their young children was disturbing, but she tried to keep a bright face. I kept the atmosphere as light as I possibly could, until I realised that my attempts at humour and her attempt at feeble laughter were causing her discomfort. So I shut up. I remember thinking at the time, "the last thing we want now is a Tommy Cooper joke, or a humorous faux-pas."
No sooner had my thoughts subsided, when my pal, certainly unintentionally but very true to form, then opened fire with both barrels!!
He started by saying more or less correctly in french that they were sorry to hear the bad news. What came next was the full force of the verbal buckshot. What he tried to say was, oh not to worry, his aunt had had infertility problems due to her fallopian tubes - (dangerous territory linguistically speaking for a novice......).
What actually came out can be virtually translated by, "Oh, my aunt couldn't have children either. She had blocked pipes!!"
Secondly it's a faux pas that was made not by myself, but by a best pal who was also a work colleague at the time. And I sware it's true, let's be fair, not even I could make something like this up.
This happened a number of years ago. In France. The friend I mentioned had taken very elementary school french. I never had. With what little I knew I would tip-toe carefully, almost whispering out my carefully prepared french phrases. He on the other hand was as proud as a peacock with the words that he'd learnt, and went out of his way to practice what little french he knew, but NEVER with any caution. He would tutoyer everyone much to my constant embarrassment, even one day when I introduced him to an important airline manager!
He was an artist at jumping in at the proverbial deep-end when he should have been carefully paddling in the French shallow pool. At the best of times he was unconsciously coming out with hilarious faux-pas, and wondering why people were laughing!
My wife had been admitted to the maternity clinic, and was recovering from the trauma of a still-birth - this would have been our first child.
My pal had been informed of our sad news, and instead of paying my wife and myself a quiet visit, came in the morning after with his wife and their two very young (somewhat hyperactive) kids. The visit of our friends was appreciated by my wife, but the presence of their young children was disturbing, but she tried to keep a bright face. I kept the atmosphere as light as I possibly could, until I realised that my attempts at humour and her attempt at feeble laughter were causing her discomfort. So I shut up. I remember thinking at the time, "the last thing we want now is a Tommy Cooper joke, or a humorous faux-pas."
No sooner had my thoughts subsided, when my pal, certainly unintentionally but very true to form, then opened fire with both barrels!!
He started by saying more or less correctly in french that they were sorry to hear the bad news. What came next was the full force of the verbal buckshot. What he tried to say was, oh not to worry, his aunt had had infertility problems due to her fallopian tubes - (dangerous territory linguistically speaking for a novice......).
What actually came out can be virtually translated by, "Oh, my aunt couldn't have children either. She had blocked pipes!!"
Last edited by Tweedpipe; Jan 5th 2011 at 8:36 am.
Jan 5th 2011, 10:07 pm
#32
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Joined: Jan 2009
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Re: What faux pas have you commited in trying to speak French?
excellent and well written too. LMAO
Jan 7th 2011, 9:16 pm
#33
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Joined: Nov 2010
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 18
Re: What faux pas have you commited in trying to speak French?
Many years ago, when my brother's French was being learned from a French dictionary, an Albert Camus novel and a 'Languaphone' record (
!!) we were trying to find our way back to the train, and he bravely asked an elderly passer-by "Excuse-moi monsieur, ou est la guerre?" The man replied, quite seriously, Mmm, La Guerre, monsieur? I think you will have to go much further North. If you come with me I'll show you where you can catch the train. 
All the way to the train station this kind man encouraged my brother to pratice his French. As we parted company he said "La gare, monsieur! Courage! Bon chance!" and then offered a salute to wish us well on our way to the war.
!!) we were trying to find our way back to the train, and he bravely asked an elderly passer-by "Excuse-moi monsieur, ou est la guerre?" The man replied, quite seriously, Mmm, La Guerre, monsieur? I think you will have to go much further North. If you come with me I'll show you where you can catch the train. All the way to the train station this kind man encouraged my brother to pratice his French. As we parted company he said "La gare, monsieur! Courage! Bon chance!" and then offered a salute to wish us well on our way to the war.
Jan 8th 2011, 9:27 am
#34
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Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Halfway between Ricard & Absynthe
Posts: 4,298
Re: What faux pas have you commited in trying to speak French?
Many years ago, when my brother's French was being learned from a French dictionary, an Albert Camus novel and a 'Languaphone' record (!!) we were trying to find our way back to the train, and he bravely asked an elderly passer-by "Excuse-moi monsieur, ou est la guerre?" The man replied, quite seriously, Mmm, La Guerre, monsieur? I think you will have to go much further North. If you come with me I'll show you where you can catch the train.
All the way to the train station this kind man encouraged my brother to pratice his French. As we parted company he said "La gare, monsieur! Courage! Bon chance!" and then offered a salute to wish us well on our way to the war.
!!) we were trying to find our way back to the train, and he bravely asked an elderly passer-by "Excuse-moi monsieur, ou est la guerre?" The man replied, quite seriously, Mmm, La Guerre, monsieur? I think you will have to go much further North. If you come with me I'll show you where you can catch the train. All the way to the train station this kind man encouraged my brother to pratice his French. As we parted company he said "La gare, monsieur! Courage! Bon chance!" and then offered a salute to wish us well on our way to the war.
Jan 8th 2011, 9:37 am
#35
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Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Halfway between Ricard & Absynthe
Posts: 4,298
Re: What faux pas have you commited in trying to speak French?
Dangerous territory trying to learn French. Especially the pronunciation nuances.
Another one which always puzzles me is, I wonder have many French speaking novices have gone into a hairdressers and asked for their horses 'chevaux' to be cut short.........
Another one which always puzzles me is, I wonder have many French speaking novices have gone into a hairdressers and asked for their horses 'chevaux' to be cut short.........
Jan 16th 2011, 8:00 am
#36
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,197
Re: What faux pas have you commited in trying to speak French?
My French is not bad, or so I like to think....but the other day I did go into the Orange shop and say I "abandoned myself" to Orange Open instead of "enrolled myself" !
(" je me suis abandonnee" (sorry haven't figured out accents on this mac computer) instead of "je me suis abonnee" !!)
Actually at the time it felt as if Orange had abandoned me and my Livebox....
(" je me suis abandonnee" (sorry haven't figured out accents on this mac computer) instead of "je me suis abonnee" !!)
Actually at the time it felt as if Orange had abandoned me and my Livebox....
Jan 16th 2011, 9:08 am
#37
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 10,551
Re: What faux pas have you commited in trying to speak French?
My French is not bad, or so I like to think....but the other day I did go into the Orange shop and say I "abandoned myself" to Orange Open instead of "enrolled myself" !
(" je me suis abandonnee" (sorry haven't figured out accents on this mac computer) instead of "je me suis abonnee" !!)
Actually at the time it felt as if Orange had abandoned me and my Livebox....
(" je me suis abandonnee" (sorry haven't figured out accents on this mac computer) instead of "je me suis abonnee" !!)
Actually at the time it felt as if Orange had abandoned me and my Livebox....
acute accent
é Hold option key and e then e
grave accent
à, è, ù Hold option key and ` then a, e, or u
cedilla
ç Hold option key and c
circumflex
â, ê, î, ô, û Hold option key and i then a, e, i, o, or u
tréma
ë, ï, ü Hold option key and u then e, i, or u
oe ligature
œ Hold option key and q
French quotation marks
« Hold option key and \
» Hold option key and shift key and \
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Mar 1st 2011, 8:18 am
#38
Account Closed
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 67
Re: What faux pas have you commited in trying to speak French?
Once I was out with a French friend and I just happened to mention that I thought it looked like it was going to cry, rather than I thought it was going to rain. She almost wet herself laughing!
Then another time (and a bad one too...), I was working as a receptionist in a hotel in Nice when we had a particularly horrible guest who just couldnt stay in that room as (I had heard) she didn't have a peignoir (bathrobe), in that room. I told her that there was no problem and the housekeeping could send one up immediately. I thought she was being rather extreme to be honest... all that fuss over a dressing gown! I couldn't understand why she looked at me as if I was totally crazy and then my friend took over and dealt with her and changed her room, upgrading her etc.
Later I went and asked why she has changed rooms etc over a peignoir... my friend just started laughing and said she was mad because there was no baignoire (bathTUB!!). And I had told her that we would send one up... hmmm.
Another time I asked a guest if he had taken an avion from his mini-bar, instead of an Evian... that got a few laughs too...!!
Later with a friend I lived in China... my friend was trying to give a taxi driver instructions to get to our place, instead of saying "straight ahead, straight ahead" was saying "toilet, toilet!!"!!
The funny side of learning languages!!!
Then another time (and a bad one too...), I was working as a receptionist in a hotel in Nice when we had a particularly horrible guest who just couldnt stay in that room as (I had heard) she didn't have a peignoir (bathrobe), in that room. I told her that there was no problem and the housekeeping could send one up immediately. I thought she was being rather extreme to be honest... all that fuss over a dressing gown! I couldn't understand why she looked at me as if I was totally crazy and then my friend took over and dealt with her and changed her room, upgrading her etc.
Later I went and asked why she has changed rooms etc over a peignoir... my friend just started laughing and said she was mad because there was no baignoire (bathTUB!!). And I had told her that we would send one up... hmmm.
Another time I asked a guest if he had taken an avion from his mini-bar, instead of an Evian... that got a few laughs too...!!
Later with a friend I lived in China... my friend was trying to give a taxi driver instructions to get to our place, instead of saying "straight ahead, straight ahead" was saying "toilet, toilet!!"!!
The funny side of learning languages!!!
