Parents are doing my head in (again)
Mar 15th 2004, 1:18 pm
#31
Lanarkshire Lass
Joined: Jan 2003
Location: Ellenbrook
Posts: 170
Re: Parents are doing my head in (again)
Originally posted by Tazzy
Just thought I'd have another moan about my folks. As you've probably noticed I've not posted much over the last few months, as I thought things were getting better between us and my parents, so not needed to let off steam to you guys.
BUT.....
this business of burying our heads in the sand and not talking about Oz in case we set off another row has just all blown up, like a big balloon waiting to pop!
I was working with my dad today, and having a tea break, like you do, when the conversation turned to what my parents were going to do when they sell their business (which is in the pipeline). They have mentioned getting a caravan and touring Europe for awhile and having a well earned break. I then said, I bet there's great camp sites in Oz, you could tour round Australia if you wanted an adventure. Oh dear, big mistake, everything then came streaming out about how they'll never ever set foot in the country, once we have gone thats the last they'll see of me. My dad said that he didn't even want to wave us goodbye at the airport because it will be too difficult to bare.
They plan to leave the UK for France or somewhere about a month before we go, then return back to the UK a few months after. They don't want phone calls on Sundays as that will upset them even more after we have talked, and they'll go back to square one of being upset. They don't even want to count down to Christmas visits as they couldn't bare only seeing me once a year. So I said well stay with us in Oz for 6 months or so (as they'll be retired) but oh no, they wouldn't get on with my husband they'll be tension and no we couldn't fly all that way, even if they broke the journey up !!! Aghhhh.
When I told my husband all of this he was gobsmacked. He said, didn't you turn round and say well, they'll grow old, sad and lonely. Because basically they are going to cut me off as its too upsetting to keep in touch as we'll be so far away!!
So, there you go. My parents are cutting off their noses to spite their faces I reckon. OR its a big emotional weapon they are using. Choose us or Oz. Nice!
Tea breaks are dangerous things!!
Tazzy
Just thought I'd have another moan about my folks. As you've probably noticed I've not posted much over the last few months, as I thought things were getting better between us and my parents, so not needed to let off steam to you guys.
BUT.....
this business of burying our heads in the sand and not talking about Oz in case we set off another row has just all blown up, like a big balloon waiting to pop!
I was working with my dad today, and having a tea break, like you do, when the conversation turned to what my parents were going to do when they sell their business (which is in the pipeline). They have mentioned getting a caravan and touring Europe for awhile and having a well earned break. I then said, I bet there's great camp sites in Oz, you could tour round Australia if you wanted an adventure. Oh dear, big mistake, everything then came streaming out about how they'll never ever set foot in the country, once we have gone thats the last they'll see of me. My dad said that he didn't even want to wave us goodbye at the airport because it will be too difficult to bare.
They plan to leave the UK for France or somewhere about a month before we go, then return back to the UK a few months after. They don't want phone calls on Sundays as that will upset them even more after we have talked, and they'll go back to square one of being upset. They don't even want to count down to Christmas visits as they couldn't bare only seeing me once a year. So I said well stay with us in Oz for 6 months or so (as they'll be retired) but oh no, they wouldn't get on with my husband they'll be tension and no we couldn't fly all that way, even if they broke the journey up !!! Aghhhh.
When I told my husband all of this he was gobsmacked. He said, didn't you turn round and say well, they'll grow old, sad and lonely. Because basically they are going to cut me off as its too upsetting to keep in touch as we'll be so far away!!
So, there you go. My parents are cutting off their noses to spite their faces I reckon. OR its a big emotional weapon they are using. Choose us or Oz. Nice!
Tea breaks are dangerous things!!
Tazzy
Turn the tables on them, and call their bluff, thats what we would do.
Mar 15th 2004, 3:49 pm
#32
You sip .... I glug !!!
Joined: Nov 2003
Location: Over the hill!
Posts: 2,790
Re: Parents are doing my head in (again)
Originally posted by Tazzy
Just thought I'd have another moan about my folks. As you've probably noticed I've not posted much over the last few months, as I thought things were getting better between us and my parents, so not needed to let off steam to you guys.
BUT.....
this business of burying our heads in the sand and not talking about Oz in case we set off another row has just all blown up, like a big balloon waiting to pop!
I was working with my dad today, and having a tea break, like you do, when the conversation turned to what my parents were going to do when they sell their business (which is in the pipeline). They have mentioned getting a caravan and touring Europe for awhile and having a well earned break. I then said, I bet there's great camp sites in Oz, you could tour round Australia if you wanted an adventure. Oh dear, big mistake, everything then came streaming out about how they'll never ever set foot in the country, once we have gone thats the last they'll see of me. My dad said that he didn't even want to wave us goodbye at the airport because it will be too difficult to bare.
They plan to leave the UK for France or somewhere about a month before we go, then return back to the UK a few months after. They don't want phone calls on Sundays as that will upset them even more after we have talked, and they'll go back to square one of being upset. They don't even want to count down to Christmas visits as they couldn't bare only seeing me once a year. So I said well stay with us in Oz for 6 months or so (as they'll be retired) but oh no, they wouldn't get on with my husband they'll be tension and no we couldn't fly all that way, even if they broke the journey up !!! Aghhhh.
When I told my husband all of this he was gobsmacked. He said, didn't you turn round and say well, they'll grow old, sad and lonely. Because basically they are going to cut me off as its too upsetting to keep in touch as we'll be so far away!!
So, there you go. My parents are cutting off their noses to spite their faces I reckon. OR its a big emotional weapon they are using. Choose us or Oz. Nice!
Tea breaks are dangerous things!!
Tazzy
Just thought I'd have another moan about my folks. As you've probably noticed I've not posted much over the last few months, as I thought things were getting better between us and my parents, so not needed to let off steam to you guys.
BUT.....
this business of burying our heads in the sand and not talking about Oz in case we set off another row has just all blown up, like a big balloon waiting to pop!
I was working with my dad today, and having a tea break, like you do, when the conversation turned to what my parents were going to do when they sell their business (which is in the pipeline). They have mentioned getting a caravan and touring Europe for awhile and having a well earned break. I then said, I bet there's great camp sites in Oz, you could tour round Australia if you wanted an adventure. Oh dear, big mistake, everything then came streaming out about how they'll never ever set foot in the country, once we have gone thats the last they'll see of me. My dad said that he didn't even want to wave us goodbye at the airport because it will be too difficult to bare.
They plan to leave the UK for France or somewhere about a month before we go, then return back to the UK a few months after. They don't want phone calls on Sundays as that will upset them even more after we have talked, and they'll go back to square one of being upset. They don't even want to count down to Christmas visits as they couldn't bare only seeing me once a year. So I said well stay with us in Oz for 6 months or so (as they'll be retired) but oh no, they wouldn't get on with my husband they'll be tension and no we couldn't fly all that way, even if they broke the journey up !!! Aghhhh.
When I told my husband all of this he was gobsmacked. He said, didn't you turn round and say well, they'll grow old, sad and lonely. Because basically they are going to cut me off as its too upsetting to keep in touch as we'll be so far away!!
So, there you go. My parents are cutting off their noses to spite their faces I reckon. OR its a big emotional weapon they are using. Choose us or Oz. Nice!
Tea breaks are dangerous things!!
Tazzy
The worse bit of it is that when she married my dad, HER dad never spoke to her again either
You would think she would learn. Ho Hum.The only thing I can suggest is as other have said - try the reverse phsycology thing on them and call their bluff - something along the lines of "OK we will give up all plans of OZ if you give up all plans of touring round Europe and stay at home for the rest of your lives, never going away anywhere so you can be with us now we are not going to OZ". Bet they wouldnt give their plans up but they expect you to give up yours !!!!
Mar 15th 2004, 4:41 pm
#33
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Bolton
Posts: 174
Re: Parents are doing my head in (again)
Once again, thanks for all the advice.
I went round to see them yesterday and once again, we are back to square one. Mum showed me a brochure of the caravan they have chosen to buy. I said it looked very nice and I'm sure they'll get a lot of use out of it.
Like one of you said, water off a ducks back. I'm now so numb with the fact that my parents just want to cut me off, their games are not getting through to me anymore.
I realise this is all through love, and I should be grateful they care but this I can do without.
Cheers all
Tazzy
I went round to see them yesterday and once again, we are back to square one. Mum showed me a brochure of the caravan they have chosen to buy. I said it looked very nice and I'm sure they'll get a lot of use out of it.
Like one of you said, water off a ducks back. I'm now so numb with the fact that my parents just want to cut me off, their games are not getting through to me anymore.
I realise this is all through love, and I should be grateful they care but this I can do without.
Cheers all
Tazzy
Mar 15th 2004, 5:12 pm
#34
Home at last
Joined: Mar 2004
Location: Beautiful UK
Posts: 866
Re: Parents are doing my head in (again)
Hi! Im new here, but just wanted to say I know the feeling. My parents moved to usa from plymouth and that was just fine. but now when I mention going to Oz, my mum wont even acknowledge it. Like its all a joke and will never happen. She doesnt want to see that I dream of the day we'll get there. Thats were I want to be with my children. Its so infuriating and heartbreaking! And Ive already put my dream off long enough. Im 49 now. Wont put it off any longer. by the way, Im getting a lot of nice info from you all. thanks!
Apr 14th 2004, 11:28 am
#35
Jan4kids
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: Hertfordshire - Adelaide - now Gold Coast.
Posts: 1,156
Re: Parents are doing my head in (again)
Originally posted by Tazzy
Just thought I'd have another moan about my folks. As you've probably noticed I've not posted much over the last few months, as I thought things were getting better between us and my parents, so not needed to let off steam to you guys.
BUT.....
this business of burying our heads in the sand and not talking about Oz in case we set off another row has just all blown up, like a big balloon waiting to pop!
I was working with my dad today, and having a tea break, like you do, when the conversation turned to what my parents were going to do when they sell their business (which is in the pipeline). They have mentioned getting a caravan and touring Europe for awhile and having a well earned break. I then said, I bet there's great camp sites in Oz, you could tour round Australia if you wanted an adventure. Oh dear, big mistake, everything then came streaming out about how they'll never ever set foot in the country, once we have gone thats the last they'll see of me. My dad said that he didn't even want to wave us goodbye at the airport because it will be too difficult to bare.
They plan to leave the UK for France or somewhere about a month before we go, then return back to the UK a few months after. They don't want phone calls on Sundays as that will upset them even more after we have talked, and they'll go back to square one of being upset. They don't even want to count down to Christmas visits as they couldn't bare only seeing me once a year. So I said well stay with us in Oz for 6 months or so (as they'll be retired) but oh no, they wouldn't get on with my husband they'll be tension and no we couldn't fly all that way, even if they broke the journey up !!! Aghhhh.
When I told my husband all of this he was gobsmacked. He said, didn't you turn round and say well, they'll grow old, sad and lonely. Because basically they are going to cut me off as its too upsetting to keep in touch as we'll be so far away!!
So, there you go. My parents are cutting off their noses to spite their faces I reckon. OR its a big emotional weapon they are using. Choose us or Oz. Nice!
Tea breaks are dangerous things!!
Tazzy
Just thought I'd have another moan about my folks. As you've probably noticed I've not posted much over the last few months, as I thought things were getting better between us and my parents, so not needed to let off steam to you guys.
BUT.....
this business of burying our heads in the sand and not talking about Oz in case we set off another row has just all blown up, like a big balloon waiting to pop!
I was working with my dad today, and having a tea break, like you do, when the conversation turned to what my parents were going to do when they sell their business (which is in the pipeline). They have mentioned getting a caravan and touring Europe for awhile and having a well earned break. I then said, I bet there's great camp sites in Oz, you could tour round Australia if you wanted an adventure. Oh dear, big mistake, everything then came streaming out about how they'll never ever set foot in the country, once we have gone thats the last they'll see of me. My dad said that he didn't even want to wave us goodbye at the airport because it will be too difficult to bare.
They plan to leave the UK for France or somewhere about a month before we go, then return back to the UK a few months after. They don't want phone calls on Sundays as that will upset them even more after we have talked, and they'll go back to square one of being upset. They don't even want to count down to Christmas visits as they couldn't bare only seeing me once a year. So I said well stay with us in Oz for 6 months or so (as they'll be retired) but oh no, they wouldn't get on with my husband they'll be tension and no we couldn't fly all that way, even if they broke the journey up !!! Aghhhh.
When I told my husband all of this he was gobsmacked. He said, didn't you turn round and say well, they'll grow old, sad and lonely. Because basically they are going to cut me off as its too upsetting to keep in touch as we'll be so far away!!
So, there you go. My parents are cutting off their noses to spite their faces I reckon. OR its a big emotional weapon they are using. Choose us or Oz. Nice!
Tea breaks are dangerous things!!
Tazzy
Apr 14th 2004, 11:39 am
#36
Jan4kids
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: Hertfordshire - Adelaide - now Gold Coast.
Posts: 1,156
Re: Parents are doing my head in (again)
Originally posted by Tazzy
Just thought I'd have another moan about my folks. As you've probably noticed I've not posted much over the last few months, as I thought things were getting better between us and my parents, so not needed to let off steam to you guys.
BUT.....
this business of burying our heads in the sand and not talking about Oz in case we set off another row has just all blown up, like a big balloon waiting to pop!
I was working with my dad today, and having a tea break, like you do, when the conversation turned to what my parents were going to do when they sell their business (which is in the pipeline). They have mentioned getting a caravan and touring Europe for awhile and having a well earned break. I then said, I bet there's great camp sites in Oz, you could tour round Australia if you wanted an adventure. Oh dear, big mistake, everything then came streaming out about how they'll never ever set foot in the country, once we have gone thats the last they'll see of me. My dad said that he didn't even want to wave us goodbye at the airport because it will be too difficult to bare.
They plan to leave the UK for France or somewhere about a month before we go, then return back to the UK a few months after. They don't want phone calls on Sundays as that will upset them even more after we have talked, and they'll go back to square one of being upset. They don't even want to count down to Christmas visits as they couldn't bare only seeing me once a year. So I said well stay with us in Oz for 6 months or so (as they'll be retired) but oh no, they wouldn't get on with my husband they'll be tension and no we couldn't fly all that way, even if they broke the journey up !!! Aghhhh.
When I told my husband all of this he was gobsmacked. He said, didn't you turn round and say well, they'll grow old, sad and lonely. Because basically they are going to cut me off as its too upsetting to keep in touch as we'll be so far away!!
So, there you go. My parents are cutting off their noses to spite their faces I reckon. OR its a big emotional weapon they are using. Choose us or Oz. Nice!
Tea breaks are dangerous things!!
Tazzy
Just thought I'd have another moan about my folks. As you've probably noticed I've not posted much over the last few months, as I thought things were getting better between us and my parents, so not needed to let off steam to you guys.
BUT.....
this business of burying our heads in the sand and not talking about Oz in case we set off another row has just all blown up, like a big balloon waiting to pop!
I was working with my dad today, and having a tea break, like you do, when the conversation turned to what my parents were going to do when they sell their business (which is in the pipeline). They have mentioned getting a caravan and touring Europe for awhile and having a well earned break. I then said, I bet there's great camp sites in Oz, you could tour round Australia if you wanted an adventure. Oh dear, big mistake, everything then came streaming out about how they'll never ever set foot in the country, once we have gone thats the last they'll see of me. My dad said that he didn't even want to wave us goodbye at the airport because it will be too difficult to bare.
They plan to leave the UK for France or somewhere about a month before we go, then return back to the UK a few months after. They don't want phone calls on Sundays as that will upset them even more after we have talked, and they'll go back to square one of being upset. They don't even want to count down to Christmas visits as they couldn't bare only seeing me once a year. So I said well stay with us in Oz for 6 months or so (as they'll be retired) but oh no, they wouldn't get on with my husband they'll be tension and no we couldn't fly all that way, even if they broke the journey up !!! Aghhhh.
When I told my husband all of this he was gobsmacked. He said, didn't you turn round and say well, they'll grow old, sad and lonely. Because basically they are going to cut me off as its too upsetting to keep in touch as we'll be so far away!!
So, there you go. My parents are cutting off their noses to spite their faces I reckon. OR its a big emotional weapon they are using. Choose us or Oz. Nice!
Tea breaks are dangerous things!!
Tazzy
I do understand her point of view,but i do wish her reaction wasn't so severe.We need all the 'good luck' and support we can get. We've spent a long time making this decision and it's heartbreaking,all we're trying to do is give our kids a better lifestyle/future.
My Mum on the other hand couldn't be more lovely. 'Do what ever makes you happy,I'LL come and see you when I can'
I'm mostly annoyed though because my Mum in law is actually making me doubt all our plans. Anyone got any thoughts on this?
Apr 14th 2004, 11:41 am
#37
She's a bird, you know
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 7,655
Here we go again, eh Tazzy? Poor you.
This is not on at all. How can parents behave like this? Makes me mad! There's my mum with breast cancer urging us to get to Oz asap when she'd have a good case for asking us to stay and there's your parents expceting you to put your life on hold for them.
So their going off chasing dreams in France, away from you and your family, but they don't want you doing the same? I know Oz is a lot further away than France, but it does rather smack of double standards.
You have to go Taz. Now more than ever, you need to prove that you have a life to lead and that this is important to you.
DOn't be bullied!
This is not on at all. How can parents behave like this? Makes me mad! There's my mum with breast cancer urging us to get to Oz asap when she'd have a good case for asking us to stay and there's your parents expceting you to put your life on hold for them.
So their going off chasing dreams in France, away from you and your family, but they don't want you doing the same? I know Oz is a lot further away than France, but it does rather smack of double standards.
You have to go Taz. Now more than ever, you need to prove that you have a life to lead and that this is important to you.
DOn't be bullied!
Apr 14th 2004, 12:02 pm
#38
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: Arrived in Brisbane - 5th August '04.
Posts: 146
Re: Parents are doing my head in (again)
Originally posted by Tazzy
Just thought I'd have another moan about my folks. As you've probably noticed I've not posted much over the last few months, as I thought things were getting better between us and my parents, so not needed to let off steam to you guys.
BUT.....
this business of burying our heads in the sand and not talking about Oz in case we set off another row has just all blown up, like a big balloon waiting to pop!
I was working with my dad today, and having a tea break, like you do, when the conversation turned to what my parents were going to do when they sell their business (which is in the pipeline). They have mentioned getting a caravan and touring Europe for awhile and having a well earned break. I then said, I bet there's great camp sites in Oz, you could tour round Australia if you wanted an adventure. Oh dear, big mistake, everything then came streaming out about how they'll never ever set foot in the country, once we have gone thats the last they'll see of me. My dad said that he didn't even want to wave us goodbye at the airport because it will be too difficult to bare.
They plan to leave the UK for France or somewhere about a month before we go, then return back to the UK a few months after. They don't want phone calls on Sundays as that will upset them even more after we have talked, and they'll go back to square one of being upset. They don't even want to count down to Christmas visits as they couldn't bare only seeing me once a year. So I said well stay with us in Oz for 6 months or so (as they'll be retired) but oh no, they wouldn't get on with my husband they'll be tension and no we couldn't fly all that way, even if they broke the journey up !!! Aghhhh.
When I told my husband all of this he was gobsmacked. He said, didn't you turn round and say well, they'll grow old, sad and lonely. Because basically they are going to cut me off as its too upsetting to keep in touch as we'll be so far away!!
So, there you go. My parents are cutting off their noses to spite their faces I reckon. OR its a big emotional weapon they are using. Choose us or Oz. Nice!
Tea breaks are dangerous things!!
Tazzy
Just thought I'd have another moan about my folks. As you've probably noticed I've not posted much over the last few months, as I thought things were getting better between us and my parents, so not needed to let off steam to you guys.
BUT.....
this business of burying our heads in the sand and not talking about Oz in case we set off another row has just all blown up, like a big balloon waiting to pop!
I was working with my dad today, and having a tea break, like you do, when the conversation turned to what my parents were going to do when they sell their business (which is in the pipeline). They have mentioned getting a caravan and touring Europe for awhile and having a well earned break. I then said, I bet there's great camp sites in Oz, you could tour round Australia if you wanted an adventure. Oh dear, big mistake, everything then came streaming out about how they'll never ever set foot in the country, once we have gone thats the last they'll see of me. My dad said that he didn't even want to wave us goodbye at the airport because it will be too difficult to bare.
They plan to leave the UK for France or somewhere about a month before we go, then return back to the UK a few months after. They don't want phone calls on Sundays as that will upset them even more after we have talked, and they'll go back to square one of being upset. They don't even want to count down to Christmas visits as they couldn't bare only seeing me once a year. So I said well stay with us in Oz for 6 months or so (as they'll be retired) but oh no, they wouldn't get on with my husband they'll be tension and no we couldn't fly all that way, even if they broke the journey up !!! Aghhhh.
When I told my husband all of this he was gobsmacked. He said, didn't you turn round and say well, they'll grow old, sad and lonely. Because basically they are going to cut me off as its too upsetting to keep in touch as we'll be so far away!!
So, there you go. My parents are cutting off their noses to spite their faces I reckon. OR its a big emotional weapon they are using. Choose us or Oz. Nice!
Tea breaks are dangerous things!!
Tazzy
Hi Tazzy,
Sorry to hear all about the hassle you are getting, you are not alone. As my wifes parents are no longer with us, we only have my parents to contend with, well my dad, anyway he does not really think that we are going to Oz, even though the house is sold, we have got rid of loads of our stuff & then you have my sister, or should i say "She Devil" she is responsible for most of our arguments, as she just does not know why we would want to go.
It makes you want to scream,
Never mind having childline to ring here in the UK, there should be a "Relativeline".
I am sure if there was the phone lines would be red hot.
I hope that your parents come to turns with it soon.
All the best, Mark.
Apr 14th 2004, 12:07 pm
#39
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 385
Re: Parents are doing my head in (again)
Originally posted by Jan3kids
Just had the same trouble with my mother in law. She says if we go that will be it,she'll cut us out of her life...... no further contact, cut the grandchildren out of her will......
I do understand her point of view,but i do wish her reaction wasn't so severe.We need all the 'good luck' and support we can get. We've spent a long time making this decision and it's heartbreaking,all we're trying to do is give our kids a better lifestyle/future.
My Mum on the other hand couldn't be more lovely. 'Do what ever makes you happy,I'LL come and see you when I can'
I'm mostly annoyed though because my Mum in law is actually making me doubt all our plans. Anyone got any thoughts on this?
Just had the same trouble with my mother in law. She says if we go that will be it,she'll cut us out of her life...... no further contact, cut the grandchildren out of her will......
I do understand her point of view,but i do wish her reaction wasn't so severe.We need all the 'good luck' and support we can get. We've spent a long time making this decision and it's heartbreaking,all we're trying to do is give our kids a better lifestyle/future.
My Mum on the other hand couldn't be more lovely. 'Do what ever makes you happy,I'LL come and see you when I can'
I'm mostly annoyed though because my Mum in law is actually making me doubt all our plans. Anyone got any thoughts on this?
I don't think you should doubt your plans but doubt why your MIL is doing this. Emotional blackmail I would call it. And to bring your kids into this is just outright awful. But that is just me, and I cannot think why anyone would do such a thing. Are you generally close to her?
Apr 14th 2004, 12:21 pm
#40
Jan4kids
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: Hertfordshire - Adelaide - now Gold Coast.
Posts: 1,156
Re: Parents are doing my head in (again)
Originally posted by simbacat
I don't think you should doubt your plans but doubt why your MIL is doing this. Emotional blackmail I would call it. And to bring your kids into this is just outright awful. But that is just me, and I cannot think why anyone would do such a thing. Are you generally close to her?
I don't think you should doubt your plans but doubt why your MIL is doing this. Emotional blackmail I would call it. And to bring your kids into this is just outright awful. But that is just me, and I cannot think why anyone would do such a thing. Are you generally close to her?
My husband obviously is close to his mum,but she is a very dominant woman. Sometimes I think she thinks of him still wearing shorts and plimpsolls!
She's never really liked me( I don't think anyone is good enough for her little boy) Our kids are happy and doing well at school but she can't help picking faults everywhere. I have tried but we're just not the same kind of people. I just hope we come to some kind of understanding as we're off to Adelaide this Aug/Sept. Hubby is going to talk to her vicar this week. What's your situation Simbacat?
Best Wishes, Jan and family.
Apr 14th 2004, 2:48 pm
#41
Guest
Posts: n/a
Now I've got one for you all that even I find hard to believe and it's my Mother.
Potentially daughter and I, if we sell the house soonish, will have nowhere to live. We'd like to stay in this area 'til daughter finishes term (2nd July). Warren works away in the week.
So I broached the subject with Mother and asked her if daughter and I could live with her 'til Sept (that's when Warrens contract finishes). There's not enough room for Warren at weekends so we would go to his parents (too far from school to live there in the week)
Anyway to cut a long story short, Mother has said no! as it's too much hassle and disruption !!
I then dreampt last night that Mother was strangling me:scared:
I'm still in shock that my own Mother will not let us stay (she lives around the corner)
So plan B maybe that Warren comes with us to Oz to do a validation trip, as soon as house is sold and then leaves us out there (we have loads of fam. that will help us in Oz). He will then come back and finish his job. Not ideal, but it will serve my bloody Mother right and we will save stacks of money into the bargain. Plus I think it will be good for me to find my own feet.
Who knows?? no wonder I'm going grey:scared:
Jill
Potentially daughter and I, if we sell the house soonish, will have nowhere to live. We'd like to stay in this area 'til daughter finishes term (2nd July). Warren works away in the week.
So I broached the subject with Mother and asked her if daughter and I could live with her 'til Sept (that's when Warrens contract finishes). There's not enough room for Warren at weekends so we would go to his parents (too far from school to live there in the week)
Anyway to cut a long story short, Mother has said no! as it's too much hassle and disruption !!
I then dreampt last night that Mother was strangling me:scared:
I'm still in shock that my own Mother will not let us stay (she lives around the corner)
So plan B maybe that Warren comes with us to Oz to do a validation trip, as soon as house is sold and then leaves us out there (we have loads of fam. that will help us in Oz). He will then come back and finish his job. Not ideal, but it will serve my bloody Mother right and we will save stacks of money into the bargain. Plus I think it will be good for me to find my own feet.
Who knows?? no wonder I'm going grey:scared:
Jill
Apr 14th 2004, 3:10 pm
#42
She's a bird, you know
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 7,655
I know it's nothing to do with parents and migration, but I had to tell you about my grandmother because it's in a similar vein...
As you probably know, Mr B and I recently got engaged. My grandmother, ever the tactful soul, sent us an engagement card - lovely, you might think. But inside the card was an article clipped from a paper all about how British girls marry aussies and it all goes horribly wrong and should be avoided at all costs. In our engagment card for pete's sake! Congratulating us on our engagement, when I'm a pommie girl and Mr B's an aussie.
Luckily we saw the funny side (my grandmother is evil) and nearly wet ourselves laughing.
As you probably know, Mr B and I recently got engaged. My grandmother, ever the tactful soul, sent us an engagement card - lovely, you might think. But inside the card was an article clipped from a paper all about how British girls marry aussies and it all goes horribly wrong and should be avoided at all costs. In our engagment card for pete's sake! Congratulating us on our engagement, when I'm a pommie girl and Mr B's an aussie.
Luckily we saw the funny side (my grandmother is evil) and nearly wet ourselves laughing.
Apr 14th 2004, 3:33 pm
#43
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 965
MIL
get this one!
Ed calls his mum on Monday asks if she enjoyed Easter weekend -she replied 'yes we had the family over' !!! This is made all the worse by the fact Ed is adopted.
Can you believe that? She is such a cow. He took the kids to see them monday - I can't stand them and haven't spoken to them for over a year since they came to our house after I had had a ceasarian with Livvi and had a go at me! After 11 years of putting up with their crap I told them where to stick it!
I would love a nice MIL and am totally jealous of my friends who have them.
Anyway see I am not the only one!
Apr 14th 2004, 3:46 pm
#44
What's happening dudes?
Joined: Mar 2004
Location: Bayside Brisbane
Posts: 20,647
Re: MIL
Originally posted by maxpaxx
I would love a nice MIL and am totally jealous of my friends who have them.
I would love a nice MIL and am totally jealous of my friends who have them.
When we told ours, my mother cried a bit and said "I knew you wouldn't stay in England forever but Australia?!?!?!". She's got used to it now and we can talk freely. She even makes helpful suggestions from time to time.
Mrs M's mother went silent for about a week but is a bit better now. Conversations about Oz are still short in that household but at least we're all still on terms. Just as well really cos they will be putting us up between us selling our house and flying out.
We've bought both sets a PC and webcam and got them using it now so they get used to it. We have promised to visit every other year or so 'if possible' and that they should come out to us whenver they can too.
I really feel for all of you having family troubles. I don't really get on with most of my family but at least that means I don't get the grief either
.Good luck to all.
Apr 14th 2004, 6:04 pm
#45
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2003
Location: Algester,Brisbane
Posts: 158
my in-laws are slowly coming to terms with us going, but we can spend hours with them and not a bean is mentioned. My husbands sister has told him to keep them informed so they cannot turn round and say we didn't tell them, but it is bloody hard when we are sometimes met with not a lot of reaction and then other times they react ok. It's confusing
To be honest I am on line at the moment because I am feeling a bit emotional (could cry at any moment) and we have sent invites out for our party. people have been ringing his mum up all day, but unlike my family she couldn't tell them much coz of the situation ( we don't chat about Oz, we just tell them the important stuff) and family are due to ring here tonight, my hubby is not in, so i'm staying on until he gets back. chicken i know
so today regardless, they have had to face reality and discuss it with other people, which i think will help them cope. I know they are only doing it cause the care, but sometimes we need to talk. thank god I can with my family otherwise we will be off our heads.
Anyway I will stop moaning because it looks like were not the only one going through this.
chin up everyone
Steph
To be honest I am on line at the moment because I am feeling a bit emotional (could cry at any moment) and we have sent invites out for our party. people have been ringing his mum up all day, but unlike my family she couldn't tell them much coz of the situation ( we don't chat about Oz, we just tell them the important stuff) and family are due to ring here tonight, my hubby is not in, so i'm staying on until he gets back. chicken i know
so today regardless, they have had to face reality and discuss it with other people, which i think will help them cope. I know they are only doing it cause the care, but sometimes we need to talk. thank god I can with my family otherwise we will be off our heads.
Anyway I will stop moaning because it looks like were not the only one going through this.
chin up everyone
Steph