hi guys

we're completly new to this site but not to 'trying' to emmigrate to canada......more on that another time!

my question.......my two teenagers, boy 15 and girl 17 are quite worried about moving to canada.....we've been in the system for 2.5 years now and talked about emmigrating over 4 years ago. whilst, when they were younger they were very up for moving, as they've got older and started 'meaningful' peer group social stuff and work etc. they have become more 'not sure of emmigrating' at all........any/all advice on this would be really apprieciated, positive and negative.........many thanks in advance.....

Hi welcome to the site

You are not alone - there have been numerous threads about teens who change their mind 27 times before the actual emmigration date.

one in particular sticks in my mind - lots of interesting advice on it

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...light=annie3-4

There are a lot more of these threads if you are able to do a search ?

edit - i've just tried one for you - here a couple of other threads that may be worth a read ...

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...t=moving+teens

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...t=moving+teens

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...t=moving+teens

and a fun one here :
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...t=moving+teens


Best wishes - hormones and decision-making do not often go hand in hand

I so hear ya!

Are you near the "end-stage" now? It's huge step for everybody, and at that age anything that does not gel exactly with their plans is "ruining my life!!!" Bless them!

We were so lucky with our two I expect, as they were stunned by the idea but never totally against it, and the whole process took only a couple of years in 2003-5. When we landed they were 14 and 19.

The younger one cried to say goodbye to his large group of very close friends, but soon made friends here. To begin with he complained they were "not the same as" his old friends, but now I'd say they have more or less taken their places in his heart.

Actually he's coming back with me this week for a first visit back to the UK, and he's expressed nervousness over meeting his old buddies. He feels that they, and he, will have all moved on maybe too far to gel now?

Our elder son has had a tough time, as he's not so sociable anyway, and only this summer seems to have started to make some close friends and mixing with them a bit more on a regular basis. The first year he was only studying part-time. Then he went to uni and started to build a social group which seems to have fallen apart after that first year as they all moved away! He's just now rebuilding and starting to feel happier.

Both kids, btw, have told us that it was the best thing we ever could have done, bringing them to Canada, and questioned why we didn't come YEARS ago! They love the winter sports especially ... #1 skies, and #2 boards!!!

thank you sooooo much ann m; i have read and re-read some of these previous postings and can only thank you. they have answered some of my very deep concerns and made me look at our situation from a new prespective. more reading to be done, more discussions with the kids etc etc but i feel happier knowing how others have addressed the situation and posible solutions......if i could hug you i would.....x

hi morwenna

many thanks for your reply and many thanks for alerting me to the teenage forum....i'll drop that one on thier laps and hopefully that will help them too.....

no, we are not near the 'end stage' if you mean by waiting around on the 'skilled worker' application; we're about 2.5 years in (actually, only 18 months, if you take it from when the chc accept your application and give you a file number)!!!!! but my husband has been very activley seeking employment as it seems the only probable way into canada is through work!!!!
we were actually told this by a very senior member of the immigration dept. from edmonton very recently!!!! so, hubby has been very active and hopefully will be offered work soon as he seems to be in demand! what this has done, is accelerate the conversation from 'when we're approved' to 'when we go soon' with the kids and i think they now realise that this is a realistic 'thing' that is happening......our daughter has just started full time work, comes back tommorrow from her first 'parent free zone' holiday in corfu with three girlfriends etc etc. she doesn't have a 'steady' boyfriend and is very adimant in not having one just yet (she's enjoying the single life).......

i have a wonderful relationship with my daughter (our son is harder; he has been 'kevin' for 2 years now and the most responce that you get is usually 'uggg' or more oftern 'food'.....so, i'm hopeing that 'informative and respectful' conversations will ensue with our daughter and also compromise....

we have been to canada on many occassions and my brother lives in calgary (emmigrated 13 years ago, no way would he ever move back)!! our kids enjoyed what they've seen but it's so difficult for them to apprieciate what it would be like to live there and i thing that's what is upsetting them now.....holidays are one thing, right?

i'm so glad that things have worked out with you; or at least settling down with your boys......never easy being a parent, is it? no 'blueprints'....lol

ohhhhhhh!!!! i actually feel quite exhausted by this now.....need a rest.....but many, many thanks for your advice and help.....x

I feel for you as one of the posts was mine. My daughter is 14 and still does not want to go as we are ruining her life but we do that anyway!!

If you want to tlak about it just PM me!!

Good luck I think we all need it with teenage children and boarding school seems a really good idea now

It is a hard decision to make.
We are at the moment 2 1/2weeks from moving out to Canada.
We have two children one who is 18 and one who is 15. Its all a bit traumatic at the moment. We are going through the leaving party stage as well as an early birthday party for our daughter last night as she'll be 16 when we've only been there a couple of weeks.
We applied back in 2004 and only heard last July when thery were in the middle of A levels and Gcses so this summer is the natural time. They have both been really keen since our first visit in 2004 and the younger one is still very keen but the older one now has a girlfriend who he doesn't want to leave. He does realise though that he will regret not gving it a go so is coming too. He is off to Uni out there in August.
Our daughter is worried about making new friends as she now has a very good group of friends over here which she didn't have when we applied . However, they love the way of life out there especially the winter sports, wildlife, scenery etc and are keen to see how things go. As we keep saying to them, if things don't work out, we can always come back!
We're feeling very stressed this weekend - there is just so much to do and at the moment, I can't imagine getting it all done in time

ahh, shucks !

(You're welcome )

Nothing much to add as my boy was 11 when we moved out and was as keen as us to move.

To the OP: are you heading to Gibson's Landing? What a truly fabulous place to live.

Article on Moving with Kids (page 28) gives some practical tips that might help....

My son was 15 when we moved here. And, I was a nervous wreck, convinced the move was going to ruin his life

It was tough, school work is more intense, the kids actually have to do the coursework and homework to pass high school courses. But getting a job (part-time) and passing his driving test have been great confidence boosters for him. He wrote a paper at the end of term about Philosophy of Life, when he read it to us, we were amazed. Coming to Canada was the best thing we could have done, everything seems harder to achieve here but it's worth it, there's no bullying or violence at school, and Mr So-Laid-Back-barely-has -a pulse-, loves it.

We live in a rural area, but have made the effort to encourage his friends to visit, sleep over etc, which may have helped.

Im really enjoying reading these threads on teenagers in Canada.
As told before I am leaving my son in the capable care of my niece until I have sorted things out and will follow over again.

You guys and others support are making me feel so much better for doing this.
The decision to stay was my son's, the clever kid came up with it himself that he wanted to get stuck into schooling sooner rather than later.
I am breaking my heart over the fact that I am going to have to leave him to school in another country (which he is no stranger too) but to have to do it more or less on his own without me there.
But too hear the success stories that out weigh the not so successful is really encouraging.
My son has no qualms about going and has not once shown any nervousness or anquish about going. He is determined to make a go of it and I am so proud of him.
Heres hoping that all you parents out there that are having difficulties find a light at the end of the tunnel.
Its adventure. Life isnt a rehearsal and you dont want to be that person 10yrs down the line wishing you had of least tried it.

Good Luck to all the parents out there and I hope your kids lead a happy life in Canada. What an opportunity!!!!

I think that our children have an advantage over those that have never moved at all. They are adapted to settling in to new environments and cultures. It's obviously going to be a much bigger shock for teens that have never experienced anything else and have their circle of friends and all that goes with it.
Our sons have their friends but they are looking forward to the move if it comes. They know that many children that have moved to Canada have loved the move and don't regret it. They are very positive about going there.
Perhaps those teens who are reticent about moving and leaving behind all they know, reading this may help them to look at the experience more positively.
Each move has it's problems but nothing we have'nt adapted to.

Hey Silver,
GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE
You have just wrote what my husband said today. I was reading some of these threads to him and he said just the same.
Your boys are like my kids, well travelled so this is not going to be too much of an upset but probably a bit of new kid nerves scenario

I really feel for the parents that are going through the turmoil of moving with kids that have life long friends and family a constant part of their every day life.

hello all !!

ok so mine is 13 (14 in Feb) we will hopefully heading out to Vancouver by the end of the year -

we started talking about moving properly last nov - she was ok ish about it - looked at houses on MLS etc.. - but then in the Jan her school work plummeted - well not hideously but enough for teachers to comment in her report this year! Think it was as cos she was chatting to her friends much more about leaving and not wanting to go.

we all went out to To and Van in MAy - me Oh, dd and son (9) - she wasnt impressed - it was ok bit boring - too safe!!
It looked like we would be movuing in the summer hols - but due to usual probs its all been delayed - the more it has delayed, the more she is digging her heels in -

not going, will stay with Grand parents,
ruining my life
cant make m

will just fly back
have got my options and career already organised
want to go to Brit school
so and so and so and so and me r going to go to the same uni etc.c.c


one lunchtiime a few weeks ago we sat chatting and suddenly she burst into tears - sobbing - ran up to her room
next minute my parents have arrived - she had called them all upset!!

AAAAGH!!!

she calmed down - we try not to talk about it now

OH is now saying - well maybe we shouldnt go, if its going to upset her that much!

I am saying - I am not being held to ramsom by a hormonal 13 year old

Have suggested she look in the youth club here on BE - NO - they will all be geeks!

I have said to oh ok we go whithout her ( she will soon follow) - let her stay with my paretns - he wont go without her (hmm my maternal strings obviously not that stong then!?)

what do you do?? have decided not to talk about it till we finally know - which may be tomorrow!! Then we will all go - invluding my ma n pa for a holiday - so its not the big wrench
when parenst gpo home - we will have a flight booked for next lot of friends to come out and visit in the next hols

hopefully shje will fdo a year and then decide to stay

I can see how it must feel -whole life being changed- but as I have said to her - what about her brother and me and her dad - we will all be leaving friends and family behind and I have known mine longer!

Also, she hasnt really experienced a major change or loss yet - so this is the big test - she hasnt experienced the death of a close relly or friend etc.c.c
other thimgs will be worse but at the mo she cant see that

God its hard

I so wish it had happened so we could have gone this summer - then ths end of term would have been it , but now she is talking about school trips etc next term - I am just saying yes and signing her up and hoping I can get the money back if we go before they happen!


ok thats my waffle- no help really - just needed to get it off my chest !