Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > New Zealand
Reload this Page >

Top tips..a la Viz comic

Top tips..a la Viz comic

Old May 7th 2008, 10:12 am
  #16  
HAPPY AS...
 
hazeandsteve's Avatar
 
Joined: May 2006
Location: Taupo
Posts: 1,068
hazeandsteve has a reputation beyond reputehazeandsteve has a reputation beyond reputehazeandsteve has a reputation beyond reputehazeandsteve has a reputation beyond reputehazeandsteve has a reputation beyond reputehazeandsteve has a reputation beyond reputehazeandsteve has a reputation beyond reputehazeandsteve has a reputation beyond reputehazeandsteve has a reputation beyond reputehazeandsteve has a reputation beyond reputehazeandsteve has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Top tips..a la Viz comic

For those not looking forward to the longhaul flight.....

Avoid jetlag by getting an earlier flight, thereby landing fully refreshed
hazeandsteve is offline  
Old May 7th 2008, 11:23 am
  #17  
BE Enthusiast
 
Browner_'s Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 968
Browner_ has a reputation beyond reputeBrowner_ has a reputation beyond reputeBrowner_ has a reputation beyond reputeBrowner_ has a reputation beyond reputeBrowner_ has a reputation beyond reputeBrowner_ has a reputation beyond reputeBrowner_ has a reputation beyond reputeBrowner_ has a reputation beyond reputeBrowner_ has a reputation beyond reputeBrowner_ has a reputation beyond reputeBrowner_ has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Top tips..a la Viz comic

Get yourself a trendy new car number plate, save on petrol money, and reduce your tax contribution all in one go.

Simply fill your tank up at local petrol station and drive straight off without paying.
Browner_ is offline  
Old May 7th 2008, 12:00 pm
  #18  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: In a large village called Auckland
Posts: 5,249
Bo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Top tips..a la Viz comic

Always keep a few 'Get Well Soon' cards on the mantlepiece. When unexpected visitors arrive you can tell them that you have not been well and that's why the house is untidy.
Bo-Jangles is offline  
Old May 7th 2008, 12:01 pm
  #19  
conquering the world!
 
karonious's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Puatahanui, Porirua
Posts: 4,905
karonious has a reputation beyond reputekaronious has a reputation beyond reputekaronious has a reputation beyond reputekaronious has a reputation beyond reputekaronious has a reputation beyond reputekaronious has a reputation beyond reputekaronious has a reputation beyond reputekaronious has a reputation beyond reputekaronious has a reputation beyond reputekaronious has a reputation beyond reputekaronious has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Top tips..a la Viz comic

Gather pine cones. Not to start the log-burner with but to throw at the neighbours. Hopefully they will throw something more useful back.........
karonious is offline  
Old May 7th 2008, 12:02 pm
  #20  
NO ADDED SUGAR
 
I_Will_Freckle's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Center Parcs, WA
Posts: 1,322
I_Will_Freckle is a splendid one to beholdI_Will_Freckle is a splendid one to beholdI_Will_Freckle is a splendid one to beholdI_Will_Freckle is a splendid one to beholdI_Will_Freckle is a splendid one to beholdI_Will_Freckle is a splendid one to beholdI_Will_Freckle is a splendid one to beholdI_Will_Freckle is a splendid one to beholdI_Will_Freckle is a splendid one to beholdI_Will_Freckle is a splendid one to beholdI_Will_Freckle is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Top tips..a la Viz comic

Originally Posted by Bo-Jangles
Always keep a few 'Get Well Soon' cards on the mantlepiece. When unexpected visitors arrive you can tell them that you have not been well and that's why the house is untidy.
Think I might do this one.
I_Will_Freckle is offline  
Old May 7th 2008, 3:30 pm
  #21  
I'm going fishing .....
 
psa2570's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: The beautiful Bay of Islands
Posts: 43
psa2570 has a brilliant futurepsa2570 has a brilliant futurepsa2570 has a brilliant futurepsa2570 has a brilliant futurepsa2570 has a brilliant futurepsa2570 has a brilliant futurepsa2570 has a brilliant future
Default Re: Top tips..a la Viz comic

Bearded men can obtain the appearance of an upper class Arctic explorer by simply applying Tippex to their beards, painting their noses blue, and cutting off a couple of toes. It never fails to impress the girls.

Avoid cutting yourself while clumsily slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

HOUSEWIVES. I find the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket.

Spice up your sex life by trying a bit of `rodeo sex`. Take your missus from behind and, holding on tightly to her boobs, call her by the wrong name. See how long you can `stay mounted` for.
psa2570 is offline  
Old May 7th 2008, 6:35 pm
  #22  
Banned
 
Lord Lionheart's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Santa Monica,CA from Birmingham, UK
Posts: 18,402
Lord Lionheart has a reputation beyond reputeLord Lionheart has a reputation beyond reputeLord Lionheart has a reputation beyond reputeLord Lionheart has a reputation beyond reputeLord Lionheart has a reputation beyond reputeLord Lionheart has a reputation beyond reputeLord Lionheart has a reputation beyond reputeLord Lionheart has a reputation beyond reputeLord Lionheart has a reputation beyond reputeLord Lionheart has a reputation beyond reputeLord Lionheart has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Top tips..a la Viz comic

Men : Save your old blunt razorblades, these make excellent ice skates for frogs to skate on frozen ponds in winter
Lord Lionheart is offline  
Old May 8th 2008, 8:43 am
  #23  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: In a large village called Auckland
Posts: 5,249
Bo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond reputeBo-Jangles has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Top tips..a la Viz comic

Save petrol by pushing your car to your destination. Hopefully some passers-by will think you've broken down and help.

When buying oranges, get more for your money by peeling them before taking them to the counter to be weighed.

If you are ever caught in a volcanic eruption, remember to jump up and down so that your feet are not constantly in the molten lava flow.
Bo-Jangles is offline  
Old May 8th 2008, 10:25 pm
  #24  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,038
Nice Guy has a reputation beyond reputeNice Guy has a reputation beyond reputeNice Guy has a reputation beyond reputeNice Guy has a reputation beyond reputeNice Guy has a reputation beyond reputeNice Guy has a reputation beyond reputeNice Guy has a reputation beyond reputeNice Guy has a reputation beyond reputeNice Guy has a reputation beyond reputeNice Guy has a reputation beyond reputeNice Guy has a reputation beyond repute
Default Ride 'em cowboy!

Originally Posted by psa2570

Spice up your sex life by trying a bit of `rodeo sex`. Take your missus from behind and, holding on tightly to her boobs, call her by the wrong name. See how long you can `stay mounted` for.
Superb!

Note to self: Check that one out.


Minor skin grafts can be performed on pigs by covering any cuts and grazes with thin strips of bacon.
Nice Guy is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.