Catchafire

The wife mentioned that the "dick" was looking a bit tired and old. Parts needed replacing she said and at least a good sanding.

I was a bit busy at the time, so she took matters into her own hands. And soon started scrubbing the "dick" after a thorough wash with the water blaster.

Nothing makes a man prouder than watching his wife liberally oiling the "dick".

So much so, we invited the neighbours around to admire her handiwork and we had a BBQ to celebrate.

Justcol

Best tell her to keep on top of it
There's nothing worse than a wet slippery dick due to a build up of moss and mold

Bo-Jangles

Apparently dicks can deteriorate quickly without proper care and regular maintenance. My dick is starting to look a bit withered and old; bits are starting to fall off because obviously been abused in the past and we haven't been taking care of it.

It's probably gone too far now as the rot has set into the structure below, so likely the best solution would to remove the dick completely and get a replacement.

Catchafire

Sounds a bit drastic Bo-Jangles. Have you tried asking a neighbour for help? Sometimes the attention of a young strapping Kiwi lad, can help get your dick shiny and new!

Stuck in Auckland

Any recommendations for a Deck Extension?

Wife would like a reduction as the view attracts a lot of female agents

I would however prefer to widen my view prospects

BEVS

Confession: I have a dirty dick.