Bullying in schools

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Old Mar 2nd 2018, 5:35 am
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Default Bullying in schools

https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/hea...uicide-attempt


This resonant with me as my daughter suffered extreme bullying in the first school she went to here, so much so she started self harming.
Did the Head anything, oh yes she did, she removed all documentation of our complaints, The Board also glossed over it and said their was no evidence, despite the fact there was, before is was removed. Mind you this Head didn't believe that dyslexia was a real thing...
I took the school to Education Minister, Hekia Parata at the time, and thankfully some measures were put in place but from what I heard not that great as problems are still on going. The head is no longer there and is no longer managing a school, I feel a smidgen of pride that us standing up for our daughter might of aided this outcome.

I have spoken to a couple of teenagers about this and they are also angry that they, as youngster, are expected to self handle this type of thing and being a bit older, now say they do not have the ideas on how to do it and do need adult intervention.
Its all very well and good having the onus on the kids to self learn but not on this sort of thing, surely...

Government need to step up
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Old Mar 9th 2018, 6:03 am
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Default Re: Bullying in schools

In all my years at school in the UK I was never bullied and I never witnessed any bullying of anybody else.

I sometime wonder that if it had happened when I was at school then I might have been better able to cope with bullying when I faced it in the New Zealand workforce.
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Old Mar 13th 2018, 12:09 pm
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Default Re: Bullying in schools

What are schools supposed to do?

To seek power over others is an intrinsic part of social behaviour and for a few the urge is extreme. Some become leaders who inspire others to achieve greatness, others become psychopaths…sometimes both.
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Old Mar 13th 2018, 6:28 pm
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Default Re: Bullying in schools

Doesn't seem fair that it's all the school's fault...
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Old Mar 13th 2018, 6:44 pm
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Default Re: Bullying in schools

Originally Posted by bearskin View Post
Doesn't seem fair that it's all the school's fault...
It does when the school blatantly has a problem but refuse to address or even accept it is happening, destroying evidence and staff lying to keep it covered up.
The children do not have the mental capacity to handle these situations and need guidance and assurance they will be listened to and the situation addressed and more importantly sorted.
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Old Mar 13th 2018, 6:50 pm
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Default Re: Bullying in schools

Originally Posted by Charismatic View Post
What are schools supposed to do?
Stop bullies, I spoke just yesterday to a primary school aged kid and asked how the year was going and one of his comments was, so and so seems to have settled down as she hasn't punch anyone in the face for the last 2 weeks but I am still moving class as A and B are still picking on me, Head said as it was me and that I am a good kid he would allow it but I was not allowed to go back to so and so's class as she had already been my teacher...

Now what picture does that portray to the kids?
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Old Mar 14th 2018, 6:30 am
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Default Re: Bullying in schools

Originally Posted by Charismatic View Post
What are schools supposed to do?

To seek power over others is an intrinsic part of social behaviour and for a few the urge is extreme. Some become leaders who inspire others to achieve greatness, others become psychopaths…sometimes both.
I don't have children so don't have a parent's-eye view on what schools should do, but I would have thought that they should expect bullying and have a mechanism to deal with it when it happens.

My current employer publishes a list of policies for staff and on one of them highlights a zero-tolerance attitude towards bullying (and harassment). I haven't seen any of those things happen there but I think that is also a reflection on the type of people that they employ.

My previous employer was silent on the topic. That is where the bullying happened.
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Old Mar 14th 2018, 8:07 am
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Default Re: Bullying in schools

It’s easy to build a robust system to deal with bullying.

What is bullying however? Let’s try some scenarios:
- If X tells a topical joke pertaining to Y and Y takes offence will this be bullying?
- Y hasn’t taken offence to the joke when told once but suddenly the joke is hold repeatedly in different contexts by A, B and C. Are A, B and C bullying Y?
- X and Y are playing rugby or soccer for PE, maybe one stands on the others hand with studded boots and the two are involved in a bit of a scrap. One now claims that being punched by the other was bullying as standing on the others hand was an honest mistake, is it?
- A, B and C have been close friend for many years and formed a desirable clique. D comes along and wants join that clique, the group agree but only if D undergoes some of initiation ritual. Is this bullying? If D goes through with it but never really gets in with the clique is this bullying?
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Old Mar 14th 2018, 9:46 am
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Default Re: Bullying in schools

sounds to me like the school is being realistic while a bunch overly PC helicopter parents are trying to make an issue out of an incident involving a drama queen kid
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Old Mar 14th 2018, 10:15 am
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Default Re: Bullying in schools

Bullying happens in EVERY school, including the elite ones (and, on occasion, especially the elite ones!).

The difference is in, what does staff do about it?

Sometimes the staff can't be bothered. I've seen that even in schools where victims had gotten court orders against the bullies.

Sometimes they engage proactively - and it can take a long time to have an effect.

Sometimes the parents feel their child is a victim but in actuality the child is instigating or giving as good as they are getting.

Do speak to staff if you have concerns. Even the most switched-on staff probably only have an idea of 10-15% of what is going on. Teachers and principals aren't omniscient, don't have eyes in the back of their heads and can't be everywhere at all times.

If you feel your child is being bullied, have spoken to staff and feel the staff are not responding - pull your child out.

If patterns repeat elsewhere take a hard reflective look at what is going on and at minimum involve a psychologist specialised in adolescence. The child will need that both if they are getting bullied everywhere, or if they are instigating and the parent is just oblivious.

Last edited by carcajou; Mar 14th 2018 at 10:19 am.
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Old Mar 14th 2018, 10:44 am
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Default Re: Bullying in schools

Some schools, bullying does not exist, this coincides with a great head teacher.

this all about leadership

I was at a private school for 10 years, bullying, some of it savage, did take place.

New headmaster who did not accept that '' boys will be boys'' etc dealt with it firmly. Those days corporal punishment did exist along with suspension and expulsion. Parental involvement was a given as they would have to collect their child if suspended or expelled....the walk of shame etc.

On one occasion a particularly nasty scroat received 6 of the very best whilst his parents waited outside to take him home....he never returned.


Sadly those days are gone, suspension and expulsion are the only means of protecting victims. A bit like the only suspended sentence worth having was at the end of a rope, etc
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Old Mar 15th 2018, 7:28 am
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Default Re: Bullying in schools

If bullying happens in school, it must be the school's fault
If it happens on a bus it's the bus company's fault
If it happens in a field, it's the field owners fault
If it happens in a concert, it's Ed Sheeran's fault.

etc

Maybe a bully is who is responsible for the bullying?
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Old Mar 15th 2018, 9:24 am
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Default Re: Bullying in schools

Originally Posted by bearskin View Post
If bullying happens in school, it must be the school's fault
If it happens on a bus it's the bus company's fault
If it happens in a field, it's the field owners fault
If it happens in a concert, it's Ed Sheeran's fault.

etc

Maybe a bully is who is responsible for the bullying?
Minors are not thought to be responsible for anything, adults are. Perhaps you missed the point here about bullying at schools by children as opposed to adults who are deemed to be responsible for their behaviours.
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Old Mar 15th 2018, 10:18 am
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Default Re: Bullying in schools

Originally Posted by bearskin View Post
Maybe a bully is who is responsible for the bullying?
You are spot on, it is the bullies fault.

However, especially where schools are concerned, the Head, teachers and governors etc, have a duty of care. Instead of taking the easy road and moving the person being bullied into another class where it could happen again, they should be confronting the bully and giving them the support then need to stop.

Not all bullies are bad, some have issues at home etc.

Victims should never feel like they are being punished.
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Old Mar 19th 2018, 7:23 am
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Default Re: Bullying in schools

Agree with all of that, too
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