Lorna at Vicenza

I'd have been tempted this weekend.

I'd like a male catalogue that I can flick through and then study at my leisure with a glossy photo and a small profile of each "escort".

I'd like to be able to ring the agency and say "send me page n. 27 at 9.30pm on Sunday January 15th."

Wether I'd have the guts/nerve/passion/indifference to actually do it and do anything with him is an entirely different matter.

And knowing my luck - one of the kids would wake up or one of the nosey neighbours would tell my OH that a strange car was parked up for 6 hours on Sunday.

I think that fantasy is not as difficult as reality might be.

seven seas

Walk into basically any bar and choose any guy. You have a 90% chance of spending the rest of the night with him.

abz_to_dbx: the thrill of the chase... ahhh the good old days! When there's not much to chase, you have to obey the biological imperative and 'clear the pipes' every so often though.

Lorna at Vicenza

Not here and not without first paying off a babysitter.

Tell a lie, I could probably walk into a few bars here and always find somebody to take me home - but not people I'd be interested in. There are always a few old wino eejits in the bars who'd be only too happy to take the lovely English girl back to bed. I wouldn't be going though.

Millhouse

6 hours? get in there.

Lorna at Vicenza

Well that includes a little bit of "getting to know you" first or a few glasses of Dutch courage

Confucius

Sometimes things get complicated...

Macca67

Are you still in a mood cause the other half poured your peppermint schnapps down the sink?

Lorna at Vicenza

Bless. I don't hold grudges and FFS it was not some kind of horrid peppermint schnapps. It was a whole lot of wine.

Anyway - he rang up. He'd arrived and so had his suitcase ..... all smashed up. He told me he got a brand new one and how pleased was he? Delighted! The old one cost about 17 euro from a dirt cheap shop and he's had it for about 5 years. Thank goodness it got smashed up on a "proper" flight and not the cheap Ryanair we used this Christmas as they wouldn't have given us so much as a handle.

That was the basis of his conversation.

Whilst I'm happy he got a new suitcase - I was wondering when he was going to say "how are you and how's life at home?"

fletcher m

Only for a strawberry or Apple flavour smoke!

weasel decentral

a civilised man should always have a mistress, regardless of his main situation be it wife or girlfriend.
trawling for hookers is just unbecoming in this day and age.

Bahtatboy

Eloquently put and bang on the mark. I'll have to pull my nets in.

weasel decentral

you know it makes sense, or to use the tarzan theory (when you are without mistress) never let go of the vine you have in hand until you have a firm grip on the next one

slapphead_otool

Mistresses sound fine but these are some common lines they come out with:

My family buffalo is sick, and I need some money.

I lost my phone last night. You have to buy me another.

Let's go shopping. I have nothing to wear tonight.

I think I am pregnant. I told my father and he needs to talk to you.

Oh that's a pretty gold chain. Can I try it on?

No, he is just a friend from my village. He gets a bit crazy and waves an axe sometimes.

can I move in with you.

Can WE move in with you (extended family)

Why were you flirting with tha bitch over there?

I know who you boss is. I'm going to tell him all about you!

Bahtatboy

Now look here Weasal and Slaphead, can you two put your heads together and arrive at a consensus? Weasel says I should act all modern, forego the easy lays and get a mistress (which is appealing, at least as a notion), and was so eloquently and succinctly put that I bought it hook, line and trawler. Then along comes Slaphead and points out all the pitfalls, and I really dislike buffaloes and axes. But is it a zero-sum game? Is there a third way? And anyone who suggests celery can **** right off.

weasel decentral

You know my way makes sense, Slaphead is speaking from the lower spectrum of the market as far as I can see. I am not speaking of a mistress drawn from a Filipino island village I mean a woman of education and possibly independent means.
In this regard Muslim Arabic women are perfect, usually well off, will be keen to keep the affair secret, will certainly not be introducing you to their family and will be accustomed to the multiple partners idea.

tried and tested