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-   -   Women (Sorry this is a long read) (https://britishexpats.com/forum/sand-pit-116/women-sorry-long-read-484602/)

Paidtoplease Oct 1st 2007 11:16 am

Women (Sorry this is a long read)
 
By the time the Lord made woman,
He was into his sixth day of working overtime.
An angel appeared and said,
'Why are you spending so much time on this one?'
And the Lord answered, 'Have you seen my spec sheet on her?
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic,
Have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable
And able to run on diet coke and leftovers,
Have a lap that can hold four children at one time,
Have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart
-and she will do everything
With only two hands.'
The angel was astounded at the requirements.
'Only two hands!? No way!
And that's just on the standard model?
That's too much work for one day.
Wait until tomorrow to finish.'
'But I won't,' the Lord protested.
'I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.
She already heals herself when she is sick
AND can work 18 hour days.'
The angel moved closer and touched the woman.
'But you have made her so soft, Lord.'
'She is soft,' the Lord agreed,
'but I have also made her tough.
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.'
'Will she be able to think?', asked the angel.
The Lord replied,
'Not only will she be able to think,
She will be able to reason and negotiate.'
The angel then noticed something,
And reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.
'Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.
I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.'
'That's not a leak,'
The Lord corrected,
'that's a tear!'
'What's the tear for?' the angel asked.
The Lord said, 'The tear is her way of expressing her joy,
Her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,
Her loneliness, her grief and her pride.'
The angel was impressed.
'You are a genius, Lord.
You thought of everything!
Woman is truly amazing.'
And she is!
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
But they hold happiness,
Love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
And laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take 'no' for an answer
When they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
And cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
A birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
Yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
Can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
To show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give

Inselaffen Oct 1st 2007 11:33 am

Re: Women (Sorry this is a long read)
 
but god a bit like Microsoft released his product too quickly full of bugs and glitches. Unfortunately he hasnt been as quick as Microsoft in releasing updates :p

Paidtoplease Oct 1st 2007 11:34 am

Re: Women (Sorry this is a long read)
 

Originally Posted by Inselaffen (Post 5373594)
but god a bit like Microsoft released his product too quickly full of bugs and glitches. Unfortunately he hasnt been as quick as Microsoft in releasing updates :p

Like Microsoft often it is the operator that is at fault !!!

Inselaffen Oct 1st 2007 11:36 am

Re: Women (Sorry this is a long read)
 

Originally Posted by Paidtoplease (Post 5373605)
Like Microsoft often it is the operator that is at fault !!!

probably just needs a good boot! :rofl:

Paidtoplease Oct 1st 2007 11:37 am

Re: Women (Sorry this is a long read)
 

Originally Posted by Inselaffen (Post 5373618)
probably just needs a good boot! :rofl:

Or less downloads of crap!!!

shakh your bootie Oct 1st 2007 11:37 am

Re: Women (Sorry this is a long read)
 

Originally Posted by Paidtoplease (Post 5373534)
Women have vital things to say and everything to give

and an endearing insecurity that makes them need to rave on at length about how f'ing marvellous they are....:p

Paidtoplease Oct 1st 2007 11:39 am

Re: Women (Sorry this is a long read)
 

Originally Posted by shakh your bootie (Post 5373622)
and an endearing insecurity that makes them need to rave on at length about how f'ing marvellous they are....:p

Just a wee reminder incase you forget :)

Inselaffen Oct 1st 2007 11:40 am

Re: Women (Sorry this is a long read)
 

Originally Posted by Paidtoplease (Post 5373635)
Just a wee reminder incase you forget :)

how could we ever forget?

Paidtoplease Oct 1st 2007 11:43 am

Re: Women (Sorry this is a long read)
 

Originally Posted by Inselaffen (Post 5373644)
how could we ever forget?

I don't know, you tell me...

Inselaffen Oct 1st 2007 11:46 am

Re: Women (Sorry this is a long read)
 

Originally Posted by Paidtoplease (Post 5373657)
I don't know, you tell me...

we couldn't!

Paidtoplease Oct 1st 2007 11:50 am

Re: Women (Sorry this is a long read)
 

Originally Posted by Inselaffen (Post 5373668)
we couldn't!

In essence it boils down to treating your other half as you would like to be treated... can't go much wrong by doing that..Oh and that is for both men and women, not being one sided here

Inselaffen Oct 1st 2007 11:53 am

Re: Women (Sorry this is a long read)
 

Originally Posted by Paidtoplease (Post 5373681)
In essence it boils down to treating your other half as you would like to be treated... can't go much wrong by doing that..Oh and that is for both men and women, not being one sided here

we have to remember all those things and more if we want some action :p
we don't have to believe it just remember it :rofl:

MataHari Oct 1st 2007 12:04 pm

Re: Women (Sorry this is a long read)
 

Originally Posted by Paidtoplease (Post 5373681)
In essence it boils down to treating your other half as you would like to be treated... can't go much wrong by doing that..Oh and that is for both men and women, not being one sided here

oh dear...I don't think I'd like to be treated the way I treat...lol

Paidtoplease Oct 1st 2007 12:13 pm

Re: Women (Sorry this is a long read)
 

Originally Posted by MataHari (Post 5373708)
oh dear...I don't think I'd like to be treated the way I treat...lol


:rofl: Oh your poor man ....

MataHari Oct 1st 2007 12:17 pm

Re: Women (Sorry this is a long read)
 

Originally Posted by Paidtoplease (Post 5373733)
:rofl: Oh your poor man ....

yeah...poor men


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