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-   -   Who needs two parents ? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/sand-pit-116/who-needs-two-parents-614875/)

BangleMan Jun 15th 2009 3:44 am

Who needs two parents ?
 
As a divorced Father of two children, I found this article very interesting....

Is it imperative these days to bring children up in a traditional family environment, or are kids less effected than we think when they are brought up in a single parent household ?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandsty...family-divorce

seraphnina Jun 15th 2009 4:16 am

Re: Who needs two parents ?
 

Originally Posted by BangleMan (Post 7665270)
As a divorced Father of two children, I found this article very interesting....

Is it imperative these days to bring children up in a traditional family environment, or are kids less effected than we think when they are brought up in a single parent household ?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandsty...family-divorce


I dont think its imperative to have a mum and a dad or two dads/mums or just a mum or just a dad. As long as the kid/s is/are loved cared etc.

MataHari Jun 15th 2009 4:19 am

Re: Who needs two parents ?
 
I think it's not a black and white thing...there are good single parents and there are lousy parents that do it together...
Staying together doesn't look like a good thing when there is constant tension in the house, as I believe kids, even very young ones, will pick up on it even when the parents think they are hiding it.
I do think that in a lot of cases the divorce itself and the period afterwards can be stressful for kids cause a lot of parents can't really handle the whole thing very well themselves, the whole amicable divorce seems to be an exception rather than the rule, but I have no idea how it affects them in the long run, if it makes it harder for them when they get relationships themselves. Apparently young kids often think it's somehow their fault that their parents split up, which is a sad thing to be experiencing.
Some people who's parents have divorced say they will never do the same to their kids, others will say that their parents divorce has showed them that when the love is gone, there is no point in hanging in there and it's the best thing to end the marriage and maybe even find another partner who is better suited.
I can also imagine that when you find out at a later age that your parents only stayed together because of you (the child) that you won't be too pleased to hear that.

commander Jun 15th 2009 4:22 am

Re: Who needs two parents ?
 

Originally Posted by MataHari (Post 7665343)
I think it's not a black and white thing...there are good single parents and there are lousy parents that do it together...
Staying together doesn't look like a good thing when there is constant tension in the house, as I believe kids, even very young ones, will pick up on it even when the parents think they are hiding it.
I do think that in a lot of cases the divorce itself and the period afterwards can be stressful for kids cause a lot of parents can't really handle the whole thing very well themselves, the whole amicable divorce seems to be an exception rather than the rule, but I have no idea how it affects them in the long run, if it makes it harder for them when they get relationships themselves. Apparently young kids often think it's somehow their fault that their parents split up, which is a sad thing to be experiencing.
Some people who's parents have divorced say they will never do the same to their kids, others will say that their parents divorce has showed them that when the love is gone, there is no point in hanging in there and it's the best thing to end the marriage and maybe even find another partner who is better suited.
I can also imagine that when you find out at a later age that your parents only stayed together because of you (the child) that you won't be too pleased to hear that.

i agree with every comment there...as a father of an estranged child..

lionheart Jun 15th 2009 4:42 am

Re: Who needs two parents ?
 
I was raised in an orphanage and look how I turned out...whoops!:rofl:

MataHari Jun 15th 2009 4:45 am

Re: Who needs two parents ?
 

Originally Posted by lionheart (Post 7665379)
I was raised in an orphanage and look how I turned out...whoops!:rofl:

split personality you mean...

GrecoRomano Jun 15th 2009 12:03 pm

Re: Who needs two parents ?
 

Originally Posted by MataHari (Post 7665385)
split personality you mean...

So what to do? Divorce or not?

Inselaffen Jun 15th 2009 12:18 pm

Re: Who needs two parents ?
 

Originally Posted by lionheart (Post 7665379)
I was raised in an orphanage and look how I turned out...whoops!:rofl:

a citeh supporter! :eek:

Millsyisland Jun 16th 2009 4:07 am

Re: Who needs two parents ?
 

Originally Posted by seraphnina (Post 7665335)
I dont think its imperative to have a mum and a dad or two dads/mums or just a mum or just a dad. As long as the kid/s is/are loved cared etc.

What are everyone's views on kids being brought up by two mums or dads in a same-sex relationship, as opposed to your standard ma and pa, different sex?

MataHari Jun 16th 2009 4:11 am

Re: Who needs two parents ?
 

Originally Posted by Millsyisland (Post 7668554)
What are everyone's views on kids being brought up by two mums or dads in a same-sex relationship, as opposed to your standard ma and pa, different sex?

same as in any other situation...if they are good parents it doesn't matter...
as far as I am concerned it has nothing to do with the sex of the parents...standard doesn't equal better...

Meow Jun 16th 2009 7:36 am

Re: Who needs two parents ?
 

Originally Posted by Millsyisland (Post 7668554)
What are everyone's views on kids being brought up by two mums or dads in a same-sex relationship, as opposed to your standard ma and pa, different sex?

Not that simple is it? Better one or two loving parents of whatever gender/sexuality/etc than 'traditional' parents who couldn't give a shit about their children.

-

BethPageBlack Jun 18th 2009 12:59 pm

Re: Who needs two parents ?
 
Daughters benefit from having fathers show genuine admiration and respect for their mothers..Thats as old as dirt

lionheart Jun 18th 2009 1:10 pm

Re: Who needs two parents ?
 

Originally Posted by BethPageBlack (Post 7676607)
Daughters benefit from having fathers show genuine admiration and respect for their mothers..Thats as old as dirt

Presumably that's a two-way street.:)

BethPageBlack Jun 18th 2009 1:33 pm

Re: Who needs two parents ?
 
Finding a woman you can genuinely admire and respect in the long run is the problem, but when you do find her, you know it. You just know it

BethPageBlack Jun 18th 2009 1:42 pm

Re: Who needs two parents ?
 

Originally Posted by lionheart (Post 7676642)
Presumably that's a two-way street.:)

No, not really. I need nothing from my wife- and I think she respects that. I baby her, I don't want to be babied by her, but then I might be one of the last living links to the natural world.


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