alitrist

not wishing to spoil the moment but I certently disapprove of those B'day, xmas and thank you cards: they r just a bloody waste of paper and r just a result of capitalism. I was brought up in Italy where we dont have such traditions and I dont think I am a less polite person than any other who was taught to write thank you cards. And tbh a lot of the "thank you and please" we ear are said with no meaning. If you went to Italy you would probably think: what a buch or rude people, but actually if you ever have a problem, strangers do go out of their way to help you...thats what really counts.
This morning I was about to get on the bus in Oxford with my 19months and 4months old sons- it was pooring down with rain- the bus driver refused to take my five pound note because he refused to give me £2.50 change_ and this is common practice here in Oxford. If I am in a public place and my son cryes I feel all the eyes of people on me as to say: what the bloody hell r you doing here, take your screeming child away.....but then they are very quick at using their thank you......
I guess that what Im trying to say is that sometimes actions are more meaningful than words...

btw I am not intending to upset any brits, I do have a lot of respect for you guys.

Hello.Kitty

I agree - I meant a thank you direct from the receiver in whatever form is most personal to them, even if it's a text saying "thnx so much!!!"

Filling in the gaps on a pre-printed pad isn't a thank you imo... it says nothing apart from "my mum has told me I need to do this"

Also, I don't think "learning manners" or being polite should be a chore, it should be spontaneous and pleasurable.

MataHari

I'd like to thank you all...really

Madam Medusa

ohhh...nice to see you was brought up proper...

MM, xx

MataHari

same in Holland...we're not really bothered with the whole thank you, please and excuse me culture...but I don't think that makes 'us' rude as such...just different...

MataHari

you've not read my next post...

Madam Medusa

oh lol...you ignorant cow...

MM, xx

MataHari

I know...I like blaming my Dutch roots when it suits me

Madam Medusa

bleedin dutch and italians...pah...

MM, xx

Inselaffen

the lack of manners in locals here really gets on my nerves

Ethos83

Thank you notes and all that was pretty common among my sister and her friends when they were at school and university and afterwards sharing cramped flats in London. Whenever a gaggle of girls came around the house for a weekend or dinner in due time M would get a bunch of thank you notes. I even sent a few myself after spending a weekend at a friend's parents place at the prodding of M (and this reminds me of the time I accidentally slipped 20 quid along with the note when I slipped it into the post box).

I don't think the lack of notes is indicative of poor manners. Saying thank you for a great dinner or weekend when you leave is fine. The notes are cultural more than mannerism.

But it's a tradition that is dying out. There's a big cultural gap between people my sister's generation who came of age in the mid 1990s and those coming of age today. I blame it on New Labour.

Autonomy

a related issue I have.... I am always doing the polite thing of holding doors open for people and it irritates me no end when they don't even acknowledge you or say thank you....

you know a simple thank you wouldn't kill you....

Hello.Kitty

skip through and clip their foot as you barge past them!

Madam Medusa

ahhh...that pisses me off too, but not as much as the people who don't hold a door for you and just let it swing in your face...

MM, xx

Confucius

This city is the center of the universe for arrogant people...