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What would you advise this troubled Parent?

What would you advise this troubled Parent?

Old Jan 24th 2008, 11:26 am
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Default What would you advise this troubled Parent?

I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!
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Old Jan 24th 2008, 11:28 am
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Default Re: What would you advise this troubled Parent?

Originally Posted by Paidtoplease View Post
I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!
you kept the details of your son quiet P2P!
was made you finally disclose the truth?
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Old Jan 24th 2008, 11:29 am
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Default Re: What would you advise this troubled Parent?

Originally Posted by Inselaffen View Post
you kept the details of your son quiet P2P!
was made you finally disclose the truth?
Honey I would have kept quiet and nicked his mags
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Old Jan 24th 2008, 11:33 am
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Default Re: What would you advise this troubled Parent?

tell them he's gay...no big deal...

MM, xx
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Old Jan 24th 2008, 11:41 am
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Default Re: What would you advise this troubled Parent?

Is there a punch-line to this thread?
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Old Jan 24th 2008, 12:08 pm
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Default Re: What would you advise this troubled Parent?

Originally Posted by Madam Medusa View Post
tell them he's gay...no big deal...

MM, xx
I know someone who might possibly face that scenario in 10-12 years
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Old Jan 24th 2008, 12:16 pm
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Default Re: What would you advise this troubled Parent?

Originally Posted by Inselaffen View Post
I know someone who might possibly face that scenario in 10-12 years
oh, who...?

MM, xx
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Old Jan 24th 2008, 1:29 pm
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Default Re: What would you advise this troubled Parent?

In all honesty P2P,my best advice is to accept that he is of that age where the more you tell him not to do something, the more he will rebel against it.

If you confront him with it, unless you are really skilled at dealing with difficult conversations, chances are it will flare up. It does depend on your relationship with your son, how open it is, how much of a dialogue do you generally have with him ? etc etc.

He obviously feels that he is doing something that would not ,erit your approval, hence he is doing it behind your back. Firstly, do not take this personally and get defensive about it, he's probably as nervous and as uptight about it as you are.

Its similar to the whole drink / drugs issue. Rather than tell them not to do it, in some instances it's a case of advsing them of the best things they can do / not do in that situation.

Both of you need to sit down and have a chat. Thats the starting point.
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Old Jan 24th 2008, 2:09 pm
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Default Re: What would you advise this troubled Parent?

Originally Posted by Madam Medusa View Post
oh, who...?

MM, xx
nobody you would know
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Old Jan 24th 2008, 2:10 pm
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Default Re: What would you advise this troubled Parent?

Originally Posted by nottmbantam View Post
In all honesty P2P,my best advice is to accept that he is of that age where the more you tell him not to do something, the more he will rebel against it.

If you confront him with it, unless you are really skilled at dealing with difficult conversations, chances are it will flare up. It does depend on your relationship with your son, how open it is, how much of a dialogue do you generally have with him ? etc etc.

He obviously feels that he is doing something that would not ,erit your approval, hence he is doing it behind your back. Firstly, do not take this personally and get defensive about it, he's probably as nervous and as uptight about it as you are.

Its similar to the whole drink / drugs issue. Rather than tell them not to do it, in some instances it's a case of advsing them of the best things they can do / not do in that situation.

Both of you need to sit down and have a chat. Thats the starting point.

My god! did you actually take something that P2P posted seriously
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Old Jan 24th 2008, 2:11 pm
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Default Re: What would you advise this troubled Parent?

Originally Posted by Inselaffen View Post
My god! did you actually take something that P2P posted seriously
err...inselaffen, you are meant to be picking me up in 5 mins, wtf are you doing on here, lol...

MM, xx
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Old Jan 24th 2008, 2:15 pm
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Default Re: What would you advise this troubled Parent?

Originally Posted by Madam Medusa View Post
err...inselaffen, you are meant to be picking me up in 5 mins, wtf are you doing on here, lol...

MM, xx
am postin from the taxi which is stuck in traffic
will be there in 10 minutes-ish
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Old Jan 24th 2008, 2:16 pm
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Default Re: What would you advise this troubled Parent?

Originally Posted by Inselaffen View Post
am postin from the taxi which is stuck in traffic
will be there in 10 minutes-ish
and you made me rush to get ready...i am very cross with you...

MM, xx
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Old Jan 24th 2008, 2:35 pm
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Default Re: What would you advise this troubled Parent?

Originally Posted by Inselaffen View Post
My god! did you actually take something that P2P posted seriously
Ooops. Fell for dat one , innit.

Oh well, lesson learnt.
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Old Jan 27th 2008, 2:51 am
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Default Re: What would you advise this troubled Parent?

Originally Posted by nottmbantam View Post
In all honesty P2P,my best advice is to accept that he is of that age where the more you tell him not to do something, the more he will rebel against it.

If you confront him with it, unless you are really skilled at dealing with difficult conversations, chances are it will flare up. It does depend on your relationship with your son, how open it is, how much of a dialogue do you generally have with him ? etc etc.

He obviously feels that he is doing something that would not ,erit your approval, hence he is doing it behind your back. Firstly, do not take this personally and get defensive about it, he's probably as nervous and as uptight about it as you are.

Its similar to the whole drink / drugs issue. Rather than tell them not to do it, in some instances it's a case of advsing them of the best things they can do / not do in that situation.

Both of you need to sit down and have a chat. Thats the starting point.
Ooooopppsss Sorry, this was posted on an evangalist website, it was to show how narrow minded some parents can be re childrens sexuality....Anything serious I post on the Middle East thread anything else take with a pinch of salt... Good advise though

Last edited by Paidtoplease; Jan 27th 2008 at 2:55 am.
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