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UK TO CUT IMMIGRANT NUMBERS BY TEACHING THEM TO READ THE DAILY MAIL

UK TO CUT IMMIGRANT NUMBERS BY TEACHING THEM TO READ THE DAILY MAIL

Old Jul 15th 2010, 10:58 am
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Default UK TO CUT IMMIGRANT NUMBERS BY TEACHING THEM TO READ THE DAILY MAIL

The government is to cut the number of immigrants applying for UK citizenship by teaching them how to read the Daily Mail, it has been confirmed.

"Rahman Ahmed, a carpenter from a small village in northern Bangladesh who signed up to the pilot programme, revealed it took him just 90 seconds to realise he had made a 'terrible, terrible mistake'.

Standing at the the check-in queue at Heathrow airport, he said: "It not just fact that you all obviously hate me - I prepared for that - it that so many of you seem fascinated with fatness or thinness of stupid, talentless women.

"Then I notice how you all in constant panic about whether or not to eat tomatoes. Some days they are best thing ever, other days they kill you. I am thinking 'this is not product of healthy brain'."

Last edited by Bahtatboy; Jul 15th 2010 at 11:02 am.
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Old Jul 15th 2010, 5:37 pm
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Default Re: UK TO CUT IMMIGRANT NUMBERS BY TEACHING THEM TO READ THE DAILY MAIL

Can we get a link to this news....to add to the malady of this thursday night!
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Old Jul 16th 2010, 4:05 am
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Default Re: UK TO CUT IMMIGRANT NUMBERS BY TEACHING THEM TO READ THE DAILY MAIL

That's an old one BTB. Plenty of jokes about Huguenots going back after seeing their first English menu etc etc

I met a woman from Thailand who cried all the way from Heathrow to her new home in South London.
She knew it was a bad decision from the minute she set foot in Heathrow.
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Old Jul 16th 2010, 6:15 am
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Default Re: UK TO CUT IMMIGRANT NUMBERS BY TEACHING THEM TO READ THE DAILY MAIL

Heathrow is enough to make any one cry.
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Old Jul 16th 2010, 8:32 am
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Default Re: UK TO CUT IMMIGRANT NUMBERS BY TEACHING THEM TO READ THE DAILY MAIL

reminds me of this joke received from one of our Indian clients


Javed and Habib are beggars of Pakistani origin. They beg in different
areas of London .

Habib begs just as long as Javed but only collects £2 to £3 every day.

Javed brings home a suitcase full of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes,
lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend..

Habib says to Javed 'I work just as long and hard as you do but how do
you bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?'

Javed says, 'Look at your sign, what does it say'?

Habib's sign reads 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'.

Javed says 'No wonder you only get £2- £3

Habib says... 'So what does your sign say'?

Javed shows Habib his sign...




It reads: 'I only need another £10 to move back to Pakistan'.
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