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Today's Jokes
"Go and have a look at the size of the dump I've just done in the bathroom!" I said to my wife.
"No thanks," she replied. "Please, just one look," I said. "You won't believe it, it's a good two-pounder." Shaking her head in disbelief, she pinched her nose, ran in, looked down and shouted, "There's nothing down there, you must've flushed it." I said, "It's on the scales." |
Re: Today's Jokes
The capital of North Korea is Pyongyang.
Ironically, it's also the sound a wok makes when you hit a dog on the head with it. |
Re: Today's Jokes
How do you pull a fat bird?
Piece of cake...... |
Re: Today's Jokes
Whats the most sensitive part of a woman?
Her fat arse |
Re: Today's Jokes
Why don't I find any of these jokes remotely amusing?
Answers on a postcard to...:( |
Re: Today's Jokes
Originally Posted by mentalist
(Post 10600893)
Why don't I find any of these jokes remotely amusing?
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Re: Today's Jokes
Originally Posted by Brains1983
(Post 10600904)
Probably because you come across as a miserable bastard.
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Re: Today's Jokes
Originally Posted by Brains1983
(Post 10600904)
Probably because you come across as a miserable bastard.
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Re: Today's Jokes
Who is the coolest guy in a hospital ?
The ultrasound guy Who is the 2nd coolest guy in a hospital ? The hip replacement guy |
Re: Today's Jokes
What do you call a Turkish baby?
Kebabby How do you get a Turkish baby to stop crying? Shish Kebabby |
Re: Today's Jokes
Originally Posted by Scamp
(Post 10601035)
How do you get a Turkish baby to stop crying?
Shish Kebabby |
Re: Today's Jokes
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a cave?
Camembert What cheese do you use to blindfold a young horse? Mascerpone. What kind of cheese likes to look at itself in the mirror? Halloumi. What kind of cheese isn't yours? Nacho cheese! |
Re: Today's Jokes
Originally Posted by mentalist
(Post 10601040)
This one I found funny.:)
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Re: Today's Jokes
:lol:
As bad as the jokes in the cheesy jokes thread....superb :D |
Re: Today's Jokes
My wife packed my bags today after finding out that I had a one night stand with another woman.
"I want you to go!" she screamed. I said, "Please can we just talk about it first?" "Go on, I'm listening." she replied. I sat down and said, "It was the most amazing experience of my entire life." And, on a similar note... I caught the wife masturbating during a Rowan Atkinson movie earlier. She loves a good Bean Flick. |
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