For those who have gone home
#31
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2008
Location: Abu Dhabi by body and Sydney by soul
Posts: 1,841
Re: For those who have gone home
Sometimes I agree, sometimes I don't.
The driving really grinds me down. SItting in the JLT traffic every night now to get to SZR traffic, to get to Business Bay traffic. It's soul destroying sometimes but I flick between a few attitudes:
I'm not letting you push in you ****. I'm going to make sure you can't get in front of me. ANGRY NOISES.
**** it, go in front of me, I'm about to go full beam and flashy to bug you for being an impatient prick.
**** it, go in front of me, you're clearly so much more important than the rest of the world. I hope you have a non fatal accident you ****tard.
**** it. I can't be arsed, just go. I'll go back to smoking and looking cool.
**** it, wave you through...oh, no thank you? WELL **** YOU ARSEHOLE.
**** it, in you go, awww you said thanks, this is a good day.
The driving really grinds me down. SItting in the JLT traffic every night now to get to SZR traffic, to get to Business Bay traffic. It's soul destroying sometimes but I flick between a few attitudes:
I'm not letting you push in you ****. I'm going to make sure you can't get in front of me. ANGRY NOISES.
**** it, go in front of me, I'm about to go full beam and flashy to bug you for being an impatient prick.
**** it, go in front of me, you're clearly so much more important than the rest of the world. I hope you have a non fatal accident you ****tard.
**** it. I can't be arsed, just go. I'll go back to smoking and looking cool.
**** it, wave you through...oh, no thank you? WELL **** YOU ARSEHOLE.
**** it, in you go, awww you said thanks, this is a good day.
#32
Re: For those who have gone home
I haven't posted in a looooong time.
I'm another one who is happy being back in the UK. It took a while to feel settled. I experienced a kind of reverse culture shock and actually felt dissatisfied about a lot of things for some time. And I'm not talking about lavish lifestyle, cars etc because that wasn't my life in Dubai or Abu Dhabi. It was a very weird feeling. I didn't want to go back to the Middle East (I was offered a good job in Doha but just couldn't...) but at the same time couldn't settle at home. Not getting back into my own house for six months probably didn't help.
A year or so down the line and its hugely different. I have my own business which is just starting to take off and is making me very, very happy. I have less money, bog standard car, my house is needing several grand spent on it... but more time and more joy. Less stress. I have a dog and go for longs walks in the country every day which makes me feel so happy and full of well being. I just drink in the green, the lush intensity, the different habitats. The creativity of my work mates is another bonus - i found it hard to be as creative in Dubai or Abu Dhabi and I did feel that I lived in a bubble where I wasn't exposed to enough subcultures, whether that be fashion, film, tv, music or just different people. The heat, the dust, the hidous commute, the politics of work made my head full of sludge. This summer was rather magical as the weather was great and seemed to bring out the best in everything. I holidayed in France and on the north Norfolk coast and had easily as good a time as in other more exotic locations. The British seaside can be enchanting, quirky and very eccentric and I still reckon eating really good fish and chips watching the sun set after a blowy day on the beach is very close to heaven. I enjoy driving again. Fewer people are trying to kill me...
On the other hand I miss tliving on a beach, swimming in the sea every day, the weather between November and March and the fantastic food (really good noodle soups, dosas and pani puri. I have to go to green street in London for a fix and its a bit off my beaten track). I miss friends there. I can see why some people would return and long to go back as your standard of living can be higher and things are so clean and shiny. For me that comes at a price. my friend, who is still there sums his feelings up by saying "there's no tax but they take 40 percent of your soul." It rings true to me. I honestly wouldn't return to live as so much got me down - the casual racism, inequality, insecurity and daily irritations just wore at me.
Finally, my kids are better back here. Their lifestyle is healthier. Despite the UK weather, we are outside a lot more. London is half an hour away and the entertainment offererd there is fantastic on so many levels. Being close to family is important to them. Their friends aren't going anywhere and their schooling is better (all that money for a so called private education and there were holes. I guess something has got to give way for the fours hours of Arabic a week)
I still work for a few Dubai companies so there are links. And I have a real fondness for some things - which I admit sits oddly with my utter contempt for other things. But I guess that's normal for a place which is so schizophrenic anyway.
I'm another one who is happy being back in the UK. It took a while to feel settled. I experienced a kind of reverse culture shock and actually felt dissatisfied about a lot of things for some time. And I'm not talking about lavish lifestyle, cars etc because that wasn't my life in Dubai or Abu Dhabi. It was a very weird feeling. I didn't want to go back to the Middle East (I was offered a good job in Doha but just couldn't...) but at the same time couldn't settle at home. Not getting back into my own house for six months probably didn't help.
A year or so down the line and its hugely different. I have my own business which is just starting to take off and is making me very, very happy. I have less money, bog standard car, my house is needing several grand spent on it... but more time and more joy. Less stress. I have a dog and go for longs walks in the country every day which makes me feel so happy and full of well being. I just drink in the green, the lush intensity, the different habitats. The creativity of my work mates is another bonus - i found it hard to be as creative in Dubai or Abu Dhabi and I did feel that I lived in a bubble where I wasn't exposed to enough subcultures, whether that be fashion, film, tv, music or just different people. The heat, the dust, the hidous commute, the politics of work made my head full of sludge. This summer was rather magical as the weather was great and seemed to bring out the best in everything. I holidayed in France and on the north Norfolk coast and had easily as good a time as in other more exotic locations. The British seaside can be enchanting, quirky and very eccentric and I still reckon eating really good fish and chips watching the sun set after a blowy day on the beach is very close to heaven. I enjoy driving again. Fewer people are trying to kill me...
On the other hand I miss tliving on a beach, swimming in the sea every day, the weather between November and March and the fantastic food (really good noodle soups, dosas and pani puri. I have to go to green street in London for a fix and its a bit off my beaten track). I miss friends there. I can see why some people would return and long to go back as your standard of living can be higher and things are so clean and shiny. For me that comes at a price. my friend, who is still there sums his feelings up by saying "there's no tax but they take 40 percent of your soul." It rings true to me. I honestly wouldn't return to live as so much got me down - the casual racism, inequality, insecurity and daily irritations just wore at me.
Finally, my kids are better back here. Their lifestyle is healthier. Despite the UK weather, we are outside a lot more. London is half an hour away and the entertainment offererd there is fantastic on so many levels. Being close to family is important to them. Their friends aren't going anywhere and their schooling is better (all that money for a so called private education and there were holes. I guess something has got to give way for the fours hours of Arabic a week)
I still work for a few Dubai companies so there are links. And I have a real fondness for some things - which I admit sits oddly with my utter contempt for other things. But I guess that's normal for a place which is so schizophrenic anyway.
Last edited by lullabelle; Sep 16th 2013 at 11:03 am.
#33
Account Closed
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 0
Re: For those who have gone home
I have just done ALL of these on an effing school run. It amazes me how the red mist can descend, so, frightened of my reaction, i try and do a good driving deed, then have another surge of anger. Repeat until it eventually I'm home. 6 incidents today, and for all you doubters, none were women in 4x4s and of course 2 were taxis.
#34
Re: For those who have gone home
I have just done ALL of these on an effing school run. It amazes me how the red mist can descend, so, frightened of my reaction, i try and do a good driving deed, then have another surge of anger. Repeat until it eventually I'm home. 6 incidents today, and for all you doubters, none were women in 4x4s and of course 2 were taxis.
I still think the driving here is a 100 times better than it was in 2008 though. Not saying much but it's heading in the right direction....
#35
Re: For those who have gone home
Laugh and smile - it winds them up even more and you don't risk three months + deportation.
#36
Account Closed
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 0
Re: For those who have gone home
I generally go with the smile and a long, spaghetti Western stare and drag combo on the cigarette.
#37
Re: For those who have gone home
Sometimes I agree, sometimes I don't.
The driving really grinds me down. SItting in the JLT traffic every night now to get to SZR traffic, to get to Business Bay traffic. It's soul destroying sometimes but I flick between a few attitudes:
I'm not letting you push in you ****. I'm going to make sure you can't get in front of me. ANGRY NOISES.
**** it, go in front of me, I'm about to go full beam and flashy to bug you for being an impatient prick.
**** it, go in front of me, you're clearly so much more important than the rest of the world. I hope you have a non fatal accident you ****tard.
**** it. I can't be arsed, just go. I'll go back to smoking and looking cool.
**** it, wave you through...oh, no thank you? WELL **** YOU ARSEHOLE.
**** it, in you go, awww you said thanks, this is a good day.
The driving really grinds me down. SItting in the JLT traffic every night now to get to SZR traffic, to get to Business Bay traffic. It's soul destroying sometimes but I flick between a few attitudes:
I'm not letting you push in you ****. I'm going to make sure you can't get in front of me. ANGRY NOISES.
**** it, go in front of me, I'm about to go full beam and flashy to bug you for being an impatient prick.
**** it, go in front of me, you're clearly so much more important than the rest of the world. I hope you have a non fatal accident you ****tard.
**** it. I can't be arsed, just go. I'll go back to smoking and looking cool.
**** it, wave you through...oh, no thank you? WELL **** YOU ARSEHOLE.
**** it, in you go, awww you said thanks, this is a good day.
#38
Hit 16's
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine
Posts: 13,112
Re: For those who have gone home
With retirement (or, more probably, semi-retirement) in sight in a few years, I don't intend to leave the ME (or wherever pays me enough) until the cash bucket is full, for which I have a fairly specific amount in mind. The shit bucket gets close to overflowing at times, but then I do one of two things to reduce it: reflect on the cost/benefit analysis of doing what I do (which at the moments weighs heavily on the benefit side), or go drill some holes in the bucket at a suitable outlet.
I do fear missing living/working abroad, and therefore plan semi-retirement with, hopefully, a couple of month-long assignments per year somewhere exotic. But I intend to be based in God's own country, coz its nice there. Apart from Japan, I can't for the moment imagine retiring anywhere else, but perhaps that's partly because I haven't experienced somewhere yet that I'd like. Any suggestions?
I do fear missing living/working abroad, and therefore plan semi-retirement with, hopefully, a couple of month-long assignments per year somewhere exotic. But I intend to be based in God's own country, coz its nice there. Apart from Japan, I can't for the moment imagine retiring anywhere else, but perhaps that's partly because I haven't experienced somewhere yet that I'd like. Any suggestions?
#39
Account Closed
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 0
Re: For those who have gone home
Yeah, UK to retire to, somewhere like Cornwall or Devon so I can be an old surfer and develop a real accent so words like Wadebridge sound awesome.
#42
Re: For those who have gone home
Saved some in my last short stay but went through that in 5 years in Singapore. Happy to be back and planning on making some decent savings this time.
#44
Re: For those who have gone home
It's one of the odd things, but after a while, you find you want to be anywhere else but where you are. The first time I left Qatar, I couldn't wait to be back in England. I left at the end of August, straight into a deppressing English Autumn and Winter, convinced six months later that I had made a bad, bad mistake. After that, I took up jobs, sometimes with dodgy employers, but no matter where I ended up, I always wanted to be somewhere else, was restless until I'd moved on, and then was looking for the next port of call. Itchy feet doesn't even begin to describe my wanderlust...
#45
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 13,553
Re: For those who have gone home
We are very happy back in Blighty. Spent 10 years away ( 5yrs Malaysia, 5 yrs Mid East). Had no real savings plan but Managed to put kids through uni debt free and boosted the old pension fund a bit. Really, really enjoyed our time away and feel very lucky to have experienced such a fantastic life style ( we had the full 'package!) but for us the flash house with pool, brunches, fancy cars, maids, drivers and exotic holidays just didn't make up for time lost with loved ones. We are in our 50's now so time with elderly parents more precious than ever and for us nothing can beat baby sitting our baby grand daughter or for me, having girly weekends with my sister. Also missed all the culture and countryside uk has, took it all for granted till we didn't have it.
You do have to be careful when you come back not to make your expat life seem the norm in a conversation, even if it was. People soon glaze over and just think you are an out of touch bore! And don't come back and immediately go out and buy new range rover, not good way to make friends! It is good to find fellow ex expats and chat about the old life though.
If I'm honest all the trappings of being an expat didn't sit comfortably with us, we were treated like royalty at times while others lived miserable hard, lives just because of their nationality. Never really felt 'at home', always felt aware of not offending someone with what I wore or said and especially in Asia just being perceived as a walking money dispenser. We know a lot of people who enjoy the 'power' they have acquired over people and places and could never come back and be invisible again. We also know people who go with a savings plan but never think its going to be enough. Years later they are just obsessed with zeros on the bank statement and forgotten for what and why they went away in the first place.
Reset the priorities now and again and you'll be fine.
You do have to be careful when you come back not to make your expat life seem the norm in a conversation, even if it was. People soon glaze over and just think you are an out of touch bore! And don't come back and immediately go out and buy new range rover, not good way to make friends! It is good to find fellow ex expats and chat about the old life though.
If I'm honest all the trappings of being an expat didn't sit comfortably with us, we were treated like royalty at times while others lived miserable hard, lives just because of their nationality. Never really felt 'at home', always felt aware of not offending someone with what I wore or said and especially in Asia just being perceived as a walking money dispenser. We know a lot of people who enjoy the 'power' they have acquired over people and places and could never come back and be invisible again. We also know people who go with a savings plan but never think its going to be enough. Years later they are just obsessed with zeros on the bank statement and forgotten for what and why they went away in the first place.
Reset the priorities now and again and you'll be fine.