The Dean

I mean........ WTF??

OK, so "Aviod (sic) Sudden Lane Changes" seems sensible enough, but "Plan Your Route In Advance"??

"Now then, I live in the Marina, and I want to go to IKEA at Festival City...... what's this? A sign saying Abu Dhabi? I think I'll follow that!"

Ethos83

If you exit Sheikh Zayed onto Hessa Street eastwards to Tecom, there's a white sign to the side that says "Welcome to Jebel Ali".

Uh.....

Ok.

lionheart

I like the one that says "Keep your hands on the wheel not on your girlfriend's titties"...oops I meant phone.

Madam Medusa

omg, this is spooky dean...i literally just got back from driving on szr and saw the "plan your route in advance one" and was wondering exactly the same thing...seriously, wtf are they on...!!

MM, xx

Bahtatboy

I think the related radio announcements are brilliant. Especially the one which talks about road conditions, then says (sounding initially as a complete non sequitur): "Abu Dhabi Police recommend tracking." Tracking? What, boy scouts with magnifying glasses looking at animal footprints? Secretly fixing a GPS transponder to your GF's / wife's car to know where she's been? The process of uniformly increasing or decreasing the space between all letters in a block of text (thought that was kerning?)? The technique of moving horizontally while in a free-fall skydive?

No to all those. Tracking as in keeping abreast of weather and road conditions for your planned route so that you'll be safe. I think I can confidently predict that the drive to Carrefour this evening will be challenging with middle-lane-hogging subcontinentals, minibuses with lights, indicators and mirrors 100% underutilised, crazed 4X4 drivers intent on driving over every car in front of them, all in the balmy warmth of dusk, perhaps with the chance of meatballs.

AD Police were helfpul last night, too. Friend had a puncture on Airport Rd just in front of ADNEC. VW's service people had very helpfully cannibalised the tool kit so the nut-cover-puller-off thing was missing (also in mine, which is an identical car); I went out to assist. We'd manage to just about pull off the inside lane, but it was definitely not safe, but not a lot of choice. I parked about 50 m behind to give some sort of cushion, with hazards on. After about 10 minutes PC Abdul pulled up, and when I explained what we were doing he said, "Do it quickly", and drove off. Thanks, bud, if you'd stayed there with the Christmas tree lights on at least we'd all have been visible a long way off.

On the other hand, a local did stop and got stuck right in, despite being in prisitine white clothes. Merely wanted to help. Praise to the common man.

Millhouse

They are different. I have a book next to my toilet with useless facts in and I read about this only the other night.

see:

Brains1983

I like the 3 different spellings of Jebel Ali on the way from Abu Dhabi to Dubai (I'm sure if I pay attention I'll find more).

And "beware of road surprises"

Millhouse

I always wonder how many people end up in Dubal when they think they are going to Dubai.

Meow

There used to be signs on the way to AD that said 'the road may surprise you'.

I was always hugely disappointed when it did nothing at all

Spugsy

I'd like to see this in Dubai.
http://www.newsplex.com/news/headlines/114282679.html

Purdey

Having been wandering around there this afternoon, it actually says Jabal Ali - is that the same as Jebel Ali? Whatever, I dunno what it's doing there.

As an aside, how do you get back to SZR direction Jebel Ali when leaving the Emirates GC - they have helpfully made the road back to Emirates Hills one way (the wrong way).

Bahtatboy

There is no standardised transliteration protocol for Arabic to English. That is to say, the Arabic writing for "Jebel" could be written in a number of ways in English, because there are no rules. This problem is compounded by the fact that there are no hard-and-fast about pronunciation of Arabic names.

Its a bit like Tokio / Tokyo (and numerous other variants). After the Meiji Restoration (Japan's re-opening to the West), there was a need to rationalise the transliteration of Japanese, and the so-called Hepburn system was adopted (more or less), and is still used today. Not quite sure how the Yanks came up with Tokio (which is a long way from the Japanese pronunciation). However, its not always used in Japan, and my uncle/aunt-in-law obviously learnt at school some 60 years ago that the way to write "shi" in English is "si", and they still do so.

"So, Uncle, how should I pronounce this Japanese work you've written in English, Meisi?"
"Its pronounced May-She"
"Not May-See?"
"No, you know very well there is no See sound in Japanese"
"Then why did you write si"
"Because that's how to write She"
"Oh, I sheee"
Sake helps.

Bungdit Din

What about the generally crap road signage that doesn't give you all the information you need? just last night we went Emirates Road>Al Ain Road>Oud Metha Road on our way to Dubai Mall, never been that way before, and there's a sign indicating left lane for Dubai Mall. So you get in the left lane... and then about 1000 yards later you see a small sign on the right-hand slip road indicating that it's the exit for the Dubai Mall. and as soon as you've seen the sign it's way too late to get over...

Purdey

Yeah, but how do I get from Emirates GC to SZR Southbound....

BurpusMe

I think they mean:

"Quit changing lanes every 30 seconds, you friggin idiots"

In which case, I concur.