Originally Posted by Forsu (Post 8745604)

When the lifeguard(s) is not busy giving swimming lessons, he is busy chatting with the maids/nannies.

On another note, is it too much to shower before you get into the pool?

Originally Posted by kittycat1 (Post 8745565)

oh pats, please tell me you are fabulous though? I need to know ab fab lives on!

Originally Posted by Patsy Stoned (Post 8745677)

Ofcourse I am darling..........just ask Weescot and Gracie
I am Patsy!! :D

Originally Posted by carolinephillips (Post 8744528)

touch your bum as they pass.:frown:

Originally Posted by Charismatic (Post 8745771)

We’ve met? I only do it when overtaking from behind though. I’m fair though, if you overtake me you can slap my toosh. Equality and such ;).

I had an embarrassing incident at the pool once, there where about 3 other witnesses and a victim. I was lazily lapping the pool on my back not really watching where I was going but still semi-spatially aware. Knew I was coming close to the edge of the pool when suddenly there was this soft bump from behind my head. “Curious” I thought. “I know. I’ll have run into a foam toy” while reached around to pull it aside, to my horror (and secret delight of course :rofl:) I very suddenly aware of the fact that I had in fact run aground on a smashing set of uber-norks and then had reached out and grab one :eek:. Turned over and mumbled about being terribly sorry (what could I do? I didn’t think offering to rub it better was going to remedy the situation) before swimming off with a face about the same colour as beetroot (probably). Must have looked like such a perv :o.

Originally Posted by EmiratesMillhouse (Post 8745777)

She took it quite well really.

Originally Posted by commander (Post 8745467)

okay....here is the scoop.

I go swimming every single day and the same happens when they dont have the ropes out. The pool at the club usually has 1 lane that is designated for swimming.

When that rope is not there, on occassion you get the odd folk that just loiter around where you are obviously swimming.

Step one: They possibly dont realise, so politley explain to them that whilst this is a place for relaxing, it is (by the name of the thing) a swimming pool and you would like to swim lengths.

Step two: (if 1 fails) keep on swimming. If you are doing freestyle you have an advantage as your head is underwater for periods. During this period when you go to stretch out your leading arm, ensure this collides with the stomache (accidently of course) of the prat. Dont say sorry..never, because your not. If they make a comment then stop and kick off big style with them about being tossers.

Step3: get the lifeguard or whoever in some kind of authority. They will hate it but put them on the spot. Get them to enforce this.

Step4: if its kids, drown them

Step5: repeat

It is just bloody rude when there is a whole pool to laze around at and people deliberatly get in a swimmers way.

That said, if the pool is really really busy with people relaxing, then you need to adopt step1 and hope for the best.

Originally Posted by benzonar (Post 8744679)

but apparently ejaculating isn't!