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Swimming Pool Etiquette
Right is it acceptable to swear at people in the pool or try to drown them?
Went for a nice relaxing swim after work, and I mean swimming lengths, for an hour, normally the pool is empty but for some reason tonight it was packed, and packed with arseholes who felt the need to stand around doing nothing but getting in my way. Now I know I don't own the pool, but surely if you just want to stand around and chat to your mates and you can see someone is properly swimming you would move to the side rather than keep getting in that persons way, no? well apparently not, after 45 minutes I gave up as was getting too frustrated with them. Why are people so unaware to whats going on around them? I did say excuse me 3 times as I had to squeeze inbetween them to turn but no completely oblivious! grrr now Im not relaxed at all and want to hurt them! :angry_smile::angry_smile: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Kitty |
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Don't pee in the pool, it's not nice. But if you really have to; go to the deep end.
Under no circumstances do you take a dump in the pool...it will follow you around and you can't blame it on the kids as it will be totally the wrong size and shape...probably! |
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
I hate that too- and also the swimmers who think it is acceptable to do a really wide slow breast stroke in the fast lane!!! Oh and all the pervs who think it is fun to swim undernesth you and ogle you or touch your breasts/bum as they pass.:frown:
Kick them as you go past- they don't take hints as subtle as just swimming or asking them to move by saying "excuse me":thumbup: |
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
1 Attachment(s)
As an owner of one of these, I go wherever the tide takes me.
Attachment 94872 (the gecko not the 8 year old kid and associated MILF) |
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Originally Posted by Roadking
(Post 8744523)
Don't pee in the pool, it's not nice. But if you really have to; go to the deep end.
Under no circumstances do you take a dump in the pool...it will follow you around and you can't blame it on the kids as it will be totally the wrong size and shape...probably! |
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Originally Posted by MacScot
(Post 8744627)
..and peeing from the high diving board is also a no-no.:sneaky:
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Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
I went to a friends place tonight and we were in their communal pool having a very nice social time with a crowd of other people. Our time was spoilt by some idiot woman in a gas mask who insisted on trying to swim lengths and constantly disturbing us. I think she thought that just because she was doing the swimming thing we should have moved out of her way! Really some people!!!!!:D
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Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Thank heaven for plunge pools which are too small to swim in and which have strategically designed steps on two sides which facilitate the consumption of grape juice or other such beverages:thumbup:
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Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
I should have known it was you pats, the bolly and cigs should have given it away! Next time can you not flick the ash in the pool love?:p
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Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Originally Posted by kittycat1
(Post 8744511)
Right is it acceptable to swear at people in the pool or try to drown them?
Went for a nice relaxing swim after work, and I mean swimming lengths, for an hour, normally the pool is empty but for some reason tonight it was packed, and packed with arseholes who felt the need to stand around doing nothing but getting in my way. Now I know I don't own the pool, but surely if you just want to stand around and chat to your mates and you can see someone is properly swimming you would move to the side rather than keep getting in that persons way, no? well apparently not, after 45 minutes I gave up as was getting too frustrated with them. Why are people so unaware to whats going on around them? I did say excuse me 3 times as I had to squeeze inbetween them to turn but no completely oblivious! grrr now Im not relaxed at all and want to hurt them! :angry_smile::angry_smile: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Kitty I go swimming every single day and the same happens when they dont have the ropes out. The pool at the club usually has 1 lane that is designated for swimming. When that rope is not there, on occassion you get the odd folk that just loiter around where you are obviously swimming. Step one: They possibly dont realise, so politley explain to them that whilst this is a place for relaxing, it is (by the name of the thing) a swimming pool and you would like to swim lengths. Step two: (if 1 fails) keep on swimming. If you are doing freestyle you have an advantage as your head is underwater for periods. During this period when you go to stretch out your leading arm, ensure this collides with the stomache (accidently of course) of the prat. Dont say sorry..never, because your not. If they make a comment then stop and kick off big style with them about being tossers. Step3: get the lifeguard or whoever in some kind of authority. They will hate it but put them on the spot. Get them to enforce this. Step4: if its kids, drown them Step5: repeat It is just bloody rude when there is a whole pool to laze around at and people deliberatly get in a swimmers way. That said, if the pool is really really busy with people relaxing, then you need to adopt step1 and hope for the best. |
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Originally Posted by kittycat1
(Post 8745449)
I should have known it was you pats, the bolly and cigs should have given it away! Next time can you not flick the ash in the pool love?:p
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Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Originally Posted by commander
(Post 8745467)
okay....here is the scoop.
I go swimming every single day and the same happens when they dont have the ropes out. The pool at the club usually has 1 lane that is designated for swimming. When that rope is not there, on occassion you get the odd folk that just loiter around where you are obviously swimming. Step one: They possibly dont realise, so politley explain to them that whilst this is a place for relaxing, it is (by the name of the thing) a swimming pool and you would like to swim lengths. Step two: (if 1 fails) keep on swimming. If you are doing freestyle you have an advantage as your head is underwater for periods. During this period when you go to stretch out your leading arm, ensure this collides with the stomache (accidently of course) of the prat. Dont say sorry..never, because your not. If they make a comment then stop and kick off big style with them about being tossers. Step3: get the lifeguard or whoever in some kind of authority. They will hate it but put them on the spot. Get them to enforce this. Step4: if its kids, drown them Step5: repeat It is just bloody rude when there is a whole pool to laze around at and people deliberatly get in a swimmers way. That said, if the pool is really really busy with people relaxing, then you need to adopt step1 and hope for the best. |
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Originally Posted by EmiratesMillhouse
(Post 8745529)
you would be no match for me on my gecko.
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Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
What? Pats? Don't tell me you don't have a beehive and a maid called bubbles?
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Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Originally Posted by kittycat1
(Post 8745535)
What? Pats? Don't tell me you don't have a beehive and a maid called bubbles?
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Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
oh pats, please tell me you are fabulous though? I need to know ab fab lives on!
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Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Step3: get the lifeguard or whoever in some kind of authority. They will hate it but put them on the spot. Get them to enforce this. On another note, is it too much to shower before you get into the pool? |
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Originally Posted by Forsu
(Post 8745604)
When the lifeguard(s) is not busy giving swimming lessons, he is busy chatting with the maids/nannies.
On another note, is it too much to shower before you get into the pool? |
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Originally Posted by kittycat1
(Post 8745565)
oh pats, please tell me you are fabulous though? I need to know ab fab lives on!
I am Patsy!! :D |
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Originally Posted by Patsy Stoned
(Post 8745677)
Ofcourse I am darling..........just ask Weescot and Gracie
I am Patsy!! :D |
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Originally Posted by carolinephillips
(Post 8744528)
touch your bum as they pass.:frown:
I had an embarrassing incident at the pool once, there where about 3 other witnesses and a victim. I was lazily lapping the pool on my back not really watching where I was going but still semi-spatially aware. Knew I was coming close to the edge of the pool when suddenly there was this soft bump from behind my head. “Curious” I thought. “I know. I’ll have run into a foam toy” while reached around to pull it aside, to my horror (and secret delight of course :rofl:) I very suddenly aware of the fact that I had in fact run aground on a smashing set of uber-norks and then had reached out and grab one :eek:. Turned over and mumbled about being terribly sorry (what could I do? I didn’t think offering to rub it better was going to remedy the situation) before swimming off with a face about the same colour as beetroot (probably). Must have looked like such a perv :o. |
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Originally Posted by Charismatic
(Post 8745771)
We’ve met? I only do it when overtaking from behind though. I’m fair though, if you overtake me you can slap my toosh. Equality and such ;).
I had an embarrassing incident at the pool once, there where about 3 other witnesses and a victim. I was lazily lapping the pool on my back not really watching where I was going but still semi-spatially aware. Knew I was coming close to the edge of the pool when suddenly there was this soft bump from behind my head. “Curious” I thought. “I know. I’ll have run into a foam toy” while reached around to pull it aside, to my horror (and secret delight of course :rofl:) I very suddenly aware of the fact that I had in fact run aground on a smashing set of uber-norks and then had reached out and grab one :eek:. Turned over and mumbled about being terribly sorry (what could I do? I didn’t think offering to rub it better was going to remedy the situation) before swimming off with a face about the same colour as beetroot (probably). Must have looked like such a perv :o. I was going along, stumbled, fell and reach out to break my fall. In front of me, and through no fault of my own, was a rather large pair of breasts owned by a very nice young lady. She took it quite well really. |
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Originally Posted by EmiratesMillhouse
(Post 8745777)
She took it quite well really.
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Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Chuck a Lion bar in the pool.
Point and it and scream. Wait 30 seconds for everyone to spot what looks like a floating turd. Then pick it up, sniff it and take a bite. No one will get in your way again. NB. Be careful doing this in the company of small children as there is a slight chance of picking up a genuine floater if not paying attention carefully. |
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
when I'm im water I'm usually to busy watching out for Japanese whalers to worry about anything else!
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Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
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Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Originally Posted by commander
(Post 8745467)
okay....here is the scoop.
I go swimming every single day and the same happens when they dont have the ropes out. The pool at the club usually has 1 lane that is designated for swimming. When that rope is not there, on occassion you get the odd folk that just loiter around where you are obviously swimming. Step one: They possibly dont realise, so politley explain to them that whilst this is a place for relaxing, it is (by the name of the thing) a swimming pool and you would like to swim lengths. Step two: (if 1 fails) keep on swimming. If you are doing freestyle you have an advantage as your head is underwater for periods. During this period when you go to stretch out your leading arm, ensure this collides with the stomache (accidently of course) of the prat. Dont say sorry..never, because your not. If they make a comment then stop and kick off big style with them about being tossers. Step3: get the lifeguard or whoever in some kind of authority. They will hate it but put them on the spot. Get them to enforce this. Step4: if its kids, drown them Step5: repeat It is just bloody rude when there is a whole pool to laze around at and people deliberatly get in a swimmers way. That said, if the pool is really really busy with people relaxing, then you need to adopt step1 and hope for the best. |
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
this is quite funny!
well done everyone! |
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Originally Posted by benzonar
(Post 8744679)
but apparently ejaculating isn't!
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