Swimming Pool Etiquette
Aug 2nd 2010, 4:49 am
#16
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2009
Location: Dubai
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Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
oh pats, please tell me you are fabulous though? I need to know ab fab lives on!
Aug 2nd 2010, 5:13 am
#17
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Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Step3: get the lifeguard or whoever in some kind of authority. They will hate it but put them on the spot. Get them to enforce this.
On another note, is it too much to shower before you get into the pool?
Aug 2nd 2010, 5:47 am
#20
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Aug 2nd 2010, 6:28 am
#21
Truth is the safest lie.
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: @ the beach.
Posts: 7,240
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
We’ve met? I only do it when overtaking from behind though. I’m fair though, if you overtake me you can slap my toosh. Equality and such 
.
I had an embarrassing incident at the pool once, there where about 3 other witnesses and a victim. I was lazily lapping the pool on my back not really watching where I was going but still semi-spatially aware. Knew I was coming close to the edge of the pool when suddenly there was this soft bump from behind my head. “Curious” I thought. “I know. I’ll have run into a foam toy” while reached around to pull it aside, to my horror (and secret delight of course
) I very suddenly aware of the fact that I had in fact run aground on a smashing set of uber-norks and then had reached out and grab one 
. Turned over and mumbled about being terribly sorry (what could I do? I didn’t think offering to rub it better was going to remedy the situation) before swimming off with a face about the same colour as beetroot (probably). Must have looked like such a perv 
.
.I had an embarrassing incident at the pool once, there where about 3 other witnesses and a victim. I was lazily lapping the pool on my back not really watching where I was going but still semi-spatially aware. Knew I was coming close to the edge of the pool when suddenly there was this soft bump from behind my head. “Curious” I thought. “I know. I’ll have run into a foam toy” while reached around to pull it aside, to my horror (and secret delight of course
) I very suddenly aware of the fact that I had in fact run aground on a smashing set of uber-norks and then had reached out and grab one . Turned over and mumbled about being terribly sorry (what could I do? I didn’t think offering to rub it better was going to remedy the situation) before swimming off with a face about the same colour as beetroot (probably). Must have looked like such a perv .
Aug 2nd 2010, 6:31 am
#22
Lost in BE Cyberspace
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Location: Disneyland, Dubai
Posts: 15,887
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
We’ve met? I only do it when overtaking from behind though. I’m fair though, if you overtake me you can slap my toosh. Equality and such .
I had an embarrassing incident at the pool once, there where about 3 other witnesses and a victim. I was lazily lapping the pool on my back not really watching where I was going but still semi-spatially aware. Knew I was coming close to the edge of the pool when suddenly there was this soft bump from behind my head. “Curious” I thought. “I know. I’ll have run into a foam toy” while reached around to pull it aside, to my horror (and secret delight of course) I very suddenly aware of the fact that I had in fact run aground on a smashing set of uber-norks and then had reached out and grab one . Turned over and mumbled about being terribly sorry (what could I do? I didn’t think offering to rub it better was going to remedy the situation) before swimming off with a face about the same colour as beetroot (probably). Must have looked like such a perv .
.I had an embarrassing incident at the pool once, there where about 3 other witnesses and a victim. I was lazily lapping the pool on my back not really watching where I was going but still semi-spatially aware. Knew I was coming close to the edge of the pool when suddenly there was this soft bump from behind my head. “Curious” I thought. “I know. I’ll have run into a foam toy” while reached around to pull it aside, to my horror (and secret delight of course
) I very suddenly aware of the fact that I had in fact run aground on a smashing set of uber-norks and then had reached out and grab one . Turned over and mumbled about being terribly sorry (what could I do? I didn’t think offering to rub it better was going to remedy the situation) before swimming off with a face about the same colour as beetroot (probably). Must have looked like such a perv .I was going along, stumbled, fell and reach out to break my fall. In front of me, and through no fault of my own, was a rather large pair of breasts owned by a very nice young lady.
She took it quite well really.
Aug 2nd 2010, 6:34 am
#23
Truth is the safest lie.
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: @ the beach.
Posts: 7,240
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Aug 2nd 2010, 8:11 am
#24
Down and out
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: Re-Expated
Posts: 872
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
Chuck a Lion bar in the pool.
Point and it and scream.
Wait 30 seconds for everyone to spot what looks like a floating turd. Then pick it up, sniff it and take a bite.
No one will get in your way again.
NB. Be careful doing this in the company of small children as there is a slight chance of picking up a genuine floater if not paying attention carefully.
Point and it and scream.
Wait 30 seconds for everyone to spot what looks like a floating turd. Then pick it up, sniff it and take a bite.
No one will get in your way again.
NB. Be careful doing this in the company of small children as there is a slight chance of picking up a genuine floater if not paying attention carefully.
Aug 2nd 2010, 8:18 am
#25
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Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
when I'm im water I'm usually to busy watching out for Japanese whalers to worry about anything else!
Aug 2nd 2010, 5:19 pm
#27
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,287
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
okay....here is the scoop.
I go swimming every single day and the same happens when they dont have the ropes out. The pool at the club usually has 1 lane that is designated for swimming.
When that rope is not there, on occassion you get the odd folk that just loiter around where you are obviously swimming.
Step one: They possibly dont realise, so politley explain to them that whilst this is a place for relaxing, it is (by the name of the thing) a swimming pool and you would like to swim lengths.
Step two: (if 1 fails) keep on swimming. If you are doing freestyle you have an advantage as your head is underwater for periods. During this period when you go to stretch out your leading arm, ensure this collides with the stomache (accidently of course) of the prat. Dont say sorry..never, because your not. If they make a comment then stop and kick off big style with them about being tossers.
Step3: get the lifeguard or whoever in some kind of authority. They will hate it but put them on the spot. Get them to enforce this.
Step4: if its kids, drown them
Step5: repeat
It is just bloody rude when there is a whole pool to laze around at and people deliberatly get in a swimmers way.
That said, if the pool is really really busy with people relaxing, then you need to adopt step1 and hope for the best.
I go swimming every single day and the same happens when they dont have the ropes out. The pool at the club usually has 1 lane that is designated for swimming.
When that rope is not there, on occassion you get the odd folk that just loiter around where you are obviously swimming.
Step one: They possibly dont realise, so politley explain to them that whilst this is a place for relaxing, it is (by the name of the thing) a swimming pool and you would like to swim lengths.
Step two: (if 1 fails) keep on swimming. If you are doing freestyle you have an advantage as your head is underwater for periods. During this period when you go to stretch out your leading arm, ensure this collides with the stomache (accidently of course) of the prat. Dont say sorry..never, because your not. If they make a comment then stop and kick off big style with them about being tossers.
Step3: get the lifeguard or whoever in some kind of authority. They will hate it but put them on the spot. Get them to enforce this.
Step4: if its kids, drown them
Step5: repeat
It is just bloody rude when there is a whole pool to laze around at and people deliberatly get in a swimmers way.
That said, if the pool is really really busy with people relaxing, then you need to adopt step1 and hope for the best.
Aug 2nd 2010, 6:15 pm
#28
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,869
Re: Swimming Pool Etiquette
this is quite funny!
well done everyone!
well done everyone!
