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-   -   Stalkers and security for women (https://britishexpats.com/forum/sand-pit-116/stalkers-security-women-616128/)

Emerald_Eyes Jun 22nd 2009 4:40 am

Stalkers and security for women
 
Sorry for the long story! Last week Tuesday, a Lebanese/Arabic man parked behind me in my work parking lot. I noticed him looking at me in his car mirror. That day I was going to a conference at a hotel across the road from my office. Locked my car, and walked to the hotel with him 10 paces behind and went in a side entrance. I noticed him staring at me, before he went round the corner to the front entrance. I was a little early so I went to get coffee and freshen up, when I came out of the bathroom the guy was there and starts walking beside me asking me if I work at the hotel. I say no, it's just for a conference, and I go into the room. He disappears.

Anyway, yesterday, after work and a quick trip to the shop, I park in my garage and get my stuff out the car. I go into the lift lobby and what I believe is the same guy (same clothes) comes in and starts chatting, asking me if I live in the building. I said yes and asked him if he lived there, he initially struggled to answer, then said no, but his friend is on vacation and he visits him there sometimes. I call the lift with my security card, he asks me what floor I'm on and then asks me what my name is, which freaked me out. I gave him a false name, said have a good evening and got out the lift at my floor. He stayed in the lift.

So my friends have said I should keep a sharp eye out and maybe warn security to let me know if they see this guy around the building. Considering the security gaurds in our building are not exactly very sharp this doesn't fill me with confidence. Spugsy suggested I consider getting some kind of an alarm or something to protect myself. Does anyone know where I can find these kind of things here? Has this happened to anyone else?

Thanks in advance x

MataHari Jun 22nd 2009 4:48 am

Re: Stalkers and security for women
 
you can call a special branch of the Dubai police for this type of thing, called Al Ameen, 8004888.

In general, I think women are too polite when things like this happen, you feel threatend by this guy so there is no reason for you to stay polite. Just tell him to go and leave you alone and let him know you will call the police if you see him again.
Also, why give him a name...even if it's false, he doesn't know that, so he thinks he now knows your name...you should have just told him that you are not interested.

aberdeensiregirl Jun 22nd 2009 4:50 am

Re: Stalkers and security for women
 

Originally Posted by MataHari (Post 7686921)
you can call a special branch of the Dubai police for this type of thing, called Al Ameen, 8004888.

In general, I think women are too polite when things like this happen, you feel threatend by this guy so there is no reason for you to stay polite. Just tell him to go and leave you alone and let him know you will call the police if you see him again.

Gosh that sounds horrible. def tell the guards even though you dont have much faith in them. are there others you know in the building to tell as well and they might keep an eye open for him too. Hope you dont see him again.

Emerald_Eyes Jun 22nd 2009 4:52 am

Re: Stalkers and security for women
 

Originally Posted by MataHari (Post 7686921)
you can call a special branch of the Dubai police for this type of thing, called Al Ameen, 8004888.

In general, I think women are too polite when things like this happen, you feel threatend by this guy so there is no reason for you to stay polite. Just tell him to go and leave you alone and let him know you will call the police if you see him again.

Thanks MH - I have saved the number in my phone. I know what you mean - I did feel threatened and just very uneasy, both times, and yet I remained polite because I felt scared and didn't want to cause trouble. I didn't want to end up with slashed tires or a keyed car. As you say, maybe it's better not to be so polite.

MataHari Jun 22nd 2009 4:56 am

Re: Stalkers and security for women
 

Originally Posted by Emerald_Eyes (Post 7686929)
Thanks MH - I have saved the number in my phone. I know what you mean - I did feel threatened and just very uneasy, both times, and yet I remained polite because I felt scared and didn't want to cause trouble. I didn't want to end up with slashed tires or a keyed car. As you say, maybe it's better not to be so polite.

just give them a call anyway to ask what the procedure is for when it happens again...
and that's the thing...you feel like you don't want to cause trouble, while in actual fact HE is the one causing trouble...
most men are just trying it on, hoping they get lucky, if you let them know you are not interested they will just go onto the next one...

Emerald_Eyes Jun 22nd 2009 5:09 am

Re: Stalkers and security for women
 

Originally Posted by MataHari (Post 7686932)
just give them a call anyway to ask what the procedure is for when it happens again...
and that's the thing...you feel like you don't want to cause trouble, while in actual fact HE is the one causing trouble...
most men are just trying it on, hoping they get lucky, if you let them know you are not interested they will just go onto the next one...

Good point! I will give them a ring today.

Zico2009 Jun 22nd 2009 5:18 am

Re: Stalkers and security for women
 
I cant believe this kind of thing happens, maybe im just naive.

TO get rid of this guy, just tell him you're not interested and if need be do it in a stern voice. I think he guys here are usually alarmed when someone answers back in a negative way and they then resemble a rabbit in a cars headlight.

Stay safe and if you want me to kick his ass just holla

Emerald_Eyes Jun 22nd 2009 5:29 am

Re: Stalkers and security for women
 

Originally Posted by Zico2009 (Post 7686951)
I cant believe this kind of thing happens, maybe im just naive.

TO get rid of this guy, just tell him you're not interested and if need be do it in a stern voice. I think he guys here are usually alarmed when someone answers back in a negative way and they then resemble a rabbit in a cars headlight.

Stay safe and if you want me to kick his ass just holla

Lol thanks very much. This sort of behaviour appears to be a frequent occurrence here. Some of the men here can be quite persistent and occasionally aggressive. But this is the first time I have ever had someone invade my personal space like this.

Spugsy Jun 22nd 2009 5:38 am

Re: Stalkers and security for women
 

Originally Posted by MataHari (Post 7686921)
you can call a special branch of the Dubai police for this type of thing, called Al Ameen, 8004888.

In general, I think women are too polite when things like this happen, you feel threatend by this guy so there is no reason for you to stay polite. Just tell him to go and leave you alone and let him know you will call the police if you see him again.
Also, why give him a name...even if it's false, he doesn't know that, so he thinks he now knows your name...you should have just told him that you are not interested.

thing is you hear bad stories over here sometimes, if you challenge him he may becaome angry and do something, if he's backed into a corner so to speak.

Just be very careful and yeah, why not ring the police? I would. If it was mrs spugsy I'd make sure we rang the police.

lionheart Jun 22nd 2009 5:46 am

Re: Stalkers and security for women
 
This sort of thing happens all the time here. Shadya used to get harrassed taking Jasmine to/from school so we had to change her mode of transport. Housemaids get followed from the shops, garbage disposal and all sorts of places, mainly by local unemployed youths with time on their hands. Can you buy those screaming personal alarm gadgets here? They would be useful.

Emerald_Eyes Jun 22nd 2009 5:53 am

Re: Stalkers and security for women
 

Originally Posted by lionheart (Post 7686990)
This sort of thing happens all the time here. Shadya used to get harrassed taking Jasmine to/from school so we had to change her mode of transport. Housemaids get followed from the shops, garbage disposal and all sorts of places, mainly by local unemployed youths with time on their hands. Can you buy those screaming personal alarm gadgets here? They would be useful.

How awful - even when she was with a child?!

Yes, that is exactly what I'm after. I think in the UK they call it a rape alarm. But I have no idea if you can get them here. I've very rarely felt unsafe since I moved to Dubai, but this has made me think that I probably need to protect myself so that I can relax and not worry.

Abu Andy Jun 22nd 2009 5:53 am

Re: Stalkers and security for women
 
It is very disturbing to hear of this kind of thing happening, especially when their laws and punishments are so strict, you would think, that is deterent enough.
It is good to know you have people here like MH, they are a great source of info and sound advice.
I hope you have luck with the police, at least they are aware something happened in your area and can keep an eye out.
I suppose in hindsight, you should have taken his regestration plate number and given that to the police.

A.A.

Emerald_Eyes Jun 22nd 2009 5:56 am

Re: Stalkers and security for women
 

Originally Posted by Abu Andy (Post 7687010)
It is very disturbing to hear of this kind of thing happening, especially when their laws and punishments are so strict, you would think, that is deterent enough.
It is good to know you have people here like MH, they are a great source of info and sound advice.
I hope you have luck with the police, at least they are aware something happened in your area and can keep an eye out.
I suppose in hindsight, you should have taken his regestration plate number and given that to the police.

A.A.

Well I only saw his car the first time, and I didn't think anything of it until he followed me into the hotel. If I remember correctly he drives a cream pajero and both times he wore beige chinos and a blue polo shirt. But if I see him again I will definitely take his registration number and call the police.

Blue Cat Jun 22nd 2009 5:59 am

Re: Stalkers and security for women
 

Originally Posted by Emerald_Eyes (Post 7687015)
Well I only saw his car the first time, and I didn't think anything of it until he followed me into the hotel. If I remember correctly he drives a cream pajero and both times he wore beige chinos and a blue polo shirt. But if I see him again I will definitely take his registration number and call the police.

get a small can of hairspray to spray in his face just in case :(

seraphnina Jun 22nd 2009 5:59 am

Re: Stalkers and security for women
 
Oh he is a wanker for sure..


Always be aware of whats going on around you, Emerald_Eyes.:)


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