Millhouse

It's only fine if you go for the face - if you are happy for the world to see what you have done to your child then go ahead. If not, then keep the hands off.

That said, mine has pushed me to near killing him, although I haven't touched him I can see how people can end up in this situation!

behavior breed behavior in my mind.

Blue Cat

what do you mean it is only fine if you go for the face? a friend once told me that one thing you learn when you become a Mother is that there is a fine line between discpline and abuse.

Millhouse

My point is that it is never acceptable to touch them.

If you are happy to hit them then do it in a place for the world to see and judge you for your actions, don't go for a place where people can't see what you have done.

Euc-

The place where I grew up and was in primary school (Caribbean, expat kid even then), the normal punishments where to bring a person in front of the class, stretch their arms and hit his/her hands with a ruler/bamboo stick. It happened to me only once, and it left such an impression that I would do anything just to make sure it wouldn't happen again.

Although it might have been due to the fact that after a few years no "whites" where allowed to get that punishment, and only the locals got it. Instead we had to write useless lines, 500 x "I will never kick Tommie in his balls again".

To those who are against the occasional slap; what do you think worked better?

Euc-

There is a difference between a spank on the ass or hitting him a black eye..

Millhouse

in your mind yes - in the child's mind, probably not.

MacScot

Well, the two kids I brought up - I never needed to spank them once...reasoned discussion was effective in why a certain behaviour was wrong and not to be repeated.

admon

So much of what has seemed to be wrong with kids (and young adults) today, has seemingly spread from the states, as all bad things do, this 'nurture your child through interaction rather than punishment'.

The result is teaching kids to be smarmy know it alls with no respect for almost anyone/anything. A 'touch me and I'll sue you attitude' - from a 10 year old.
They can put a brick through your window, set fire to your car, or your house (while your in it), but god forbid you for being satan by giving a child a clip around the ear as a result.

The western world has gone f**king daft. Sometimes values and respect have to be learned the hard way.

As a young kid I'd have been deservedly beaten within an inch of my life if I did half of the things that kids routinely get away with on a daily basis nowadays.

Just yesterday I sat in a coffee shop and 'watched' while a kid meticulously broke a set of blinds that probably cost 2-3000dhs. The staff asked the kid's parents (who were paying no attention 10 feet away) if they could stop him from doing it - they were met with derogatory comments as if their 'angel' was beyond reproach.
Is that right? For me no. 20 years ago, a random adult would have clipped him around the ear for being so damn right naughty and disrepectful, if one of the members of staff didn't do it themselves. ..and the parents would have probably got a twatting as well.

Madam Medusa

i take it all back, smacking is definitely allowed for brattish friends of my kids who are round for a play-date and who really don't know how to behave...aagghhh...

MM, xx

The Dean

My objection to smacking is not because it's tantamount to cruelty or abuse (although it might well be). My view is that it simply doesn't work - it makes kids more defiant and more rebellious ('You think you can make me do what you want by hitting me? I'll show you!').

The only punishments that work do so because they are not punishments after the fact, but are deterrents for the future.

Say 'no' and mean it. "You've been naughty so I'm not letting you go out and play with your friends." Does no harm and eventually (usually sooner not later) the message gets through.

spart

The problem with this approach though Dean, is it only works when a child is 18months/2 years old. Younger than this, and children don't have the reasoning ability to connect good behavior with reward. How many times have you seen a parent "reasoning" with little princess Sarah in a supermarket. Works just fantastically when the child is going bourke....

ozkingy

If the child is old enough to understand, let them know if they continue to do the unaccptable behaviour, they will get a smack. No excuse then. If they get a little whack on the bottom, they know why.

A smack usually hurts the pride more than the bottom!

Cheers,

Kingy.

Confucius

I'm all with you on this one...
We all are from a generation where we either got smacked or hit (with a belt...) depending on the level of wrongness...
And how did we all turn out???

Cry haddock

The mean it bit is key (caveat - non-parent) - a hundred empty threats are useless compared to one followed through threat.
Seen so many kids 100% thrown by a simple clear threat actually enforced, too many threaten too much and enforce nothing.
Spanking, i would do as I done unto - only to prevent or intervene in dangerous things (roads/electricity/knives etc)
CH

buddymom

Please explain to me how The States are responsible for bratty little British children running amok in restaurants, destroying blinds and not being reprimanded by their parents.??

A huge pet peeve of mine...do parents not realize that HOT food and beverages are served in restaurants, and your child running amok is hindering the servers duty to deliver these items to sir and madam. Endangering the child, and surely the employee , who will lose their job , if Precious or Master is accidently spilled hot coffee upon.

I was spanked,.... I spanked my kids and none of us have turned out better or worse for the wear.

Sometimes I think the parents need a spanking, rather than the child.
Its NOT a fine line between spanking and abuse,....it's common sense.