Somewhat baffled....

Old May 8th 2014, 4:46 pm
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Default Somewhat baffled....

Anyone able to translate this corporate guff into English?

"We need to establish a less prescriptive corporate framework which offers business units greater flexibility within the parameters of common core corporate guidelines."

Utterly bemused as to what this may mean, but it at least looks politically correct, even though it is 100% horseshit.
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Old May 8th 2014, 4:52 pm
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Default Re: Somewhat baffled....

I read it as "We need to find away to empower our employees with enough responsibility to make it all their fault when it goes wrong/ make them feel included without them actually going outside set corporate guidelines or having any real control or power."
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Old May 8th 2014, 4:57 pm
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Default Re: Somewhat baffled....

Originally Posted by Sanshinman View Post
I read it as "We need to find away to empower our employees with enough responsibility to make it all their fault when it goes wrong/ make them feel included without them actually going outside set corporate guidelines or having any real control or power."
Nope, still pointless gobbledy gook meaning that too many words are used to say 'Follow the rules and don't be caught out doing something you don't want to admit to' Still shite, though...
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Old May 8th 2014, 5:11 pm
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Default Re: Somewhat baffled....

And this...

'Focusing on activities rather than departments and developing a cost-benifit matrix as a tool to help priotitise the areas in which we would work hardest to develop savings ideas.'

This is a bit easier: 'You're fired!'
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Old May 8th 2014, 7:46 pm
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Default Re: Somewhat baffled....

Do what you want but we will kick ass if you screw up ! We will claim success and blame you for failure.
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Old May 8th 2014, 8:00 pm
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Default Re: Somewhat baffled....

Originally Posted by scot47 View Post
Do what you want but we will kick ass if you screw up ! We will claim success and blame you for failure.
Exactly! Responsability without authority. F**k up, and you're trashcanned!
This is known as the Saddam Hussien gambit - We'll give you a fair hearing, then we'll hang you.

Doubles all round!

Last edited by OleJanx; May 8th 2014 at 8:07 pm.
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