In other news, the guest and the hose....
Nov 13th 2013, 4:08 am
#1
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Thread Starter
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Posts: 3,508
In other news, the guest and the hose....
Sometimes you just couldn't make it up.
Anyone else from Yorkshire?
Metro
Q the jokes....
and
and
Just how pissed do you need to be to do that?
Anyone else from Yorkshire?
Metro
Q the jokes....
A hotel guest emerged naked from a storage cupboard of a Premier Inn with a fire extinguisher hose up his bottom.
‘Hassan (Nightwatchman) then watched CCTV showing the defendant coming out of a storage cupboard, naked and urinating on the lift door. The defendant could also be seen on CCTV placing a fire extinguisher hose and masturbating at the same time. Hassan called the police.’
Joseph Small again urinated in front of tourists, shouting: ‘I come from Sheffield in England.’
Nov 13th 2013, 4:51 am
#2
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Posts: 3,096
Re: In other news, the guest and the hose....
That's 'high jinks'...nothing more
Bloody uptight night watchmen
Bloody uptight night watchmen
Nov 13th 2013, 6:06 am
#3
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Re: In other news, the guest and the hose....
How about in today's 7 days.
How crazy is this country? Indecent act by not shaking hands in a manly fashion? Could you really make this up?
Threatening him and committing an indecent act by shaking his hand in a perverted way.
Nov 13th 2013, 6:09 am
#4
hmmmm...nice
Joined: Jul 2006
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Re: In other news, the guest and the hose....
How about in today's 7 days.
How crazy is this country? Indecent act by not shaking hands in a manly fashion? Could you really make this up?
How crazy is this country? Indecent act by not shaking hands in a manly fashion? Could you really make this up?
Nov 13th 2013, 6:10 am
#5
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Nov 13th 2013, 7:35 am
#7
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Nov 13th 2013, 7:36 am
#8
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Nov 13th 2013, 8:04 am
#10
Hit 16's
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Nov 13th 2013, 8:11 am
#11
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Re: In other news, the guest and the hose....
Shit handshakes are poor but what can you do? Judge someone because of it...I do.
Nov 13th 2013, 8:48 am
#12
Hit 16's
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Location: Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine
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Re: In other news, the guest and the hose....
A question on protocol--if you don't get your hand in fully, so that the other person just ends up holding your fingers, do you pull out and start again, or just live with it? And if you pull out, what do you say? I've tried a simple "Sorry, let's try that again" which seems to be ok.
Nov 13th 2013, 9:13 am
#13
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Re: In other news, the guest and the hose....
There is a cultural difference, though. Asians in particular don't get a firm grasp, but I find that most Arabs have the same concept as us. The new PM for one of our subbies has the limpest, wettest (ugh), most lifeless handshake ever, and although I did my best to give him the benefit of the doubt when first meeting him, his performance has mirrored his handshake precisely.
A question on protocol--if you don't get your hand in fully, so that the other person just ends up holding your fingers, do you pull out and start again, or just live with it? And if you pull out, what do you say? I've tried a simple "Sorry, let's try that again" which seems to be ok.
A question on protocol--if you don't get your hand in fully, so that the other person just ends up holding your fingers, do you pull out and start again, or just live with it? And if you pull out, what do you say? I've tried a simple "Sorry, let's try that again" which seems to be ok.
Depends on who it's with, if it was you I'd say "oh, that was poor, I'll try again". If someone I didn't know I'd just get through the business and make sure the parting handshake is a good solid one.
Nov 13th 2013, 10:02 am
#14
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Re: In other news, the guest and the hose....
I prefer to not touch them.
Nov 13th 2013, 10:24 am
#15
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Re: In other news, the guest and the hose....
I did a classic not long ago, Indian feller somewhere wanted to shake hands, I went to and then looked at him and said "oh actually, I've just washed my hands" and pulled out the shake.
My intentions were; my hands are still a bit wet and I don't want you to have to wipe your hands on your trousers because I haven't dried mine properly.
My intentions probably looked like: I'm not shaking hands with you, you dirty unwashed peasant.
Oops.
My intentions were; my hands are still a bit wet and I don't want you to have to wipe your hands on your trousers because I haven't dried mine properly.
My intentions probably looked like: I'm not shaking hands with you, you dirty unwashed peasant.
Oops.