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Off-topic posts from ME Jobs thread

Off-topic posts from ME Jobs thread

Old Aug 31st 2012, 2:41 pm
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Default Off-topic posts from ME Jobs thread

Originally Posted by The Dean View Post
No, sorry - his 7 posts in 3 days beats your 30 posts in five months........
But it has taken me five months to work out the cliques on here!
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Old Aug 31st 2012, 3:02 pm
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Default Re: Dubai here I come - or am I?

Originally Posted by Fossildog View Post
But it has taken me five months to work out the cliques on here!
Ooh - which one do I belong to?
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Old Aug 31st 2012, 3:36 pm
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Default Re: Dubai here I come - or am I?

Originally Posted by al dente View Post
Ooh - which one do I belong to?
Are you not in my Feminazi gang?
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Old Sep 1st 2012, 9:05 am
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Default Re: Dubai here I come - or am I?

Originally Posted by Meow View Post
Are you not in my Feminazi gang?
Sigh, but if that's all we are, when are we allowed to crack jokes? Feminazis are just so humourless.
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Old Sep 1st 2012, 9:15 am
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Default Re: Dubai here I come - or am I?

Originally Posted by al dente View Post
Sigh, but if that's all we are, when are we allowed to crack jokes? Feminazis are just so humourless.
But have you seen our outfits?!




Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q. What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A. With a knife, through his chest.
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Old Sep 1st 2012, 10:10 am
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Default Re: Dubai here I come - or am I?

Originally Posted by Meow View Post
But have you seen our outfits?!




Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q. What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A. With a knife, through his chest.
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Old Sep 1st 2012, 10:35 am
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Default Re: Dubai here I come - or am I?

Originally Posted by Meow View Post
But have you seen our outfits?!




Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q. What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A. With a knife, through his chest.
Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin at the end of a penis?
A: A man............
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Old Sep 5th 2012, 10:48 pm
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Default Re: Dubai here I come - or am I?

Whoa!!!! Go easy girls
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Old Sep 8th 2012, 1:57 pm
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Default Re: Dubai here I come - or am I?

What's the difference between a pub and a clitoris ...most men know how to find a pub.
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Old Sep 11th 2012, 9:15 am
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Default Re: Dubai here I come - or am I?

Originally Posted by The Dean View Post
Q: What do you call the useless piece of skin at the end of a penis?
A: A man............
Q. What do you call the life support system for a vagina?

A. A woman.
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Old Sep 11th 2012, 9:17 am
  #11  
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Default Re: Dubai here I come - or am I?

Originally Posted by Scottiebloke View Post
Whoa!!!! Go easy girls
Q. How many men does it take to open a beer?
A. None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Q. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A. Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Q. Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A. It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Q. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A. When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."

Q. Why do men fart more than women?
A. Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

Q. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A. The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

Q. What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A. A woman who won't do what she's told.

Q. I married a Miss Right.
A. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Q. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
A. It's called a Wedding Cake.

Q. Why do men die before their wives?
A. They want to.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.!
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Old Sep 11th 2012, 9:19 am
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Default Re: Dubai here I come - or am I?

Originally Posted by Patsy Stoned View Post
What's the difference between a pub and a clitoris ...most men know how to find a pub.
A clitoris? WTF is that, is it like the little man in the boat?
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Old Sep 14th 2012, 12:26 pm
  #13  
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Default Re: Dubai here I come - or am I?

Originally Posted by mikewot View Post
A clitoris? WTF is that, is it like the little man in the boat?
No darling...that is your penis.
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Old Sep 16th 2012, 2:07 pm
  #14  
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Default Re: Off-topic posts from ME Jobs thread

OW! I just head butted my desk as tried to duck from my boss when I burst out laughing.. Cheers!
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