Obituary

Old Jun 3rd 2010, 10:47 am
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Default Obituary

An Obituary printed in the London Times - Interesting and sadly, rather true.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers:
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing
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Old Jun 3rd 2010, 11:07 am
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Default Re: Obituary

My favourite, This bag of peanuts may contain nuts.
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Old Jun 3rd 2010, 2:14 pm
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and mine is... printed on the sick bag on Emirates planes
" No Liquids"........does anybody vomit solids then????
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Old Jun 3rd 2010, 4:24 pm
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Originally Posted by Patsy Stoned View Post
and mine is... printed on the sick bag on Emirates planes
" No Liquids"........does anybody vomit solids then????
err yes....carrots
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Old Jun 4th 2010, 4:50 am
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Originally Posted by commander View Post
err yes....carrots
but they don't come up dry do they darling
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