Little Boy

Im love my wife, but I love it when she goes out of town to see our kids, her mother, sisters or friends too. I don't know why

scrubbedexpat141

It's because you know, in the back of your mind, that you can bunjee wank around your living room without fear.

Boomhauer

Please tell me you don't have any pet hamsters

Sandboy

bishops licence ?

The Dean

Your wife's here - do you want to talk to her?

Little Boy

Yeah, but what i'm I gonna do the other 23 hours and 57 minutes of the day?

scrubbedexpat141

No wife = the following routine:

Eat, Beat, Sleep, Repeat.

Little Boy

Sounds like a recipe for self loathing

scrubbedexpat141

Don't do it forever...

Little Boy

I don't want her coming home to scabs on my cawk

again







.

scrubbedexpat141

Get rid of any hookers before she returns then...

the_red_sheep

What does that even mean? I'm hoping to god it doesn't involve metres of rubber cord and you singing Inxs songs.

britexpat76

They are not hookers, merely 'Cleaners' looking after the place whilst the wife is away. I am sure the wife wouldn't want him living in filth.

Little Boy

Day 7:

Kitchen is past the point of no return, no clean towels or clothes, food suppplies nearly exhausted, starting to look like Tom Hanks in Castaway.

mentalist

If true, you are a disgrace to mankind.