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Muslim wedding joke - for Nottmbantam

Muslim wedding joke - for Nottmbantam

Old Mar 12th 2008, 7:27 pm
  #1  
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Default Muslim wedding joke - for Nottmbantam



A Saudi couple, Ahmed and Layla, preparing for their wedding, meet with their Mullah for counselling. The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave.

Ahmed asks, "We realize it's tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding reception, we'd like your permission to dance together."

"Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women always dance separately."

"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"

"No," answered the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam."

"Well, okay," says Ahmed, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"

"Of course!" replies the Mullah, "Allah Akbar! (GOD is great) Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!"

"What about different positions?" asks Ahmed.

"Allah Akbar! Mafi Mushkila (no problem)," says the Mullah.

"Woman on top?" Ahmed asks.

"Sure," says the Mullah. "Allah Akbar. Go for it!"

"Doggy style?"

"Sure! Allah Akbar!"

"On the kitchen table?"

"Yes, yes! Allah Akbar!"

"Can I do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"

"You may indeed. Allah Akbar!"

"Can we do it standing up?"

"No, absolutely not!" says the Mullah."

"Why not?" asks Ahmed.

"Because that could lead to dancing!"
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Old Mar 12th 2008, 10:05 pm
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Default Re: Muslim wedding joke - for Nottmbantam



Thanks The Dean. Will have to remind 'er indoors that everything else goes. Except the standing up bit of course
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Old Mar 13th 2008, 6:46 am
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Default Re: Muslim wedding joke - for Nottmbantam

Nice one
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Old Mar 13th 2008, 9:38 am
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hmmmm...nice
 
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Default Re: Muslim wedding joke - for Nottmbantam

Lionheart The Dean
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Old Mar 13th 2008, 10:32 am
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Default Re: Muslim wedding joke - for Nottmbantam

Originally Posted by MataHari View Post
Lionheart The Dean
Those of us with at least eight years of Saudi life under our belts have to stick together.
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Old Mar 13th 2008, 12:19 pm
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Default Re: Muslim wedding joke - for Nottmbantam

Originally Posted by MataHari View Post
Lionheart The Dean
An official spokesman for The Dean has issued the following press release on his behalf:

"While it is true that Lionheart and I do see eye-to-eye on the issue of murderous unprincipled Chinese paramilitary forces attacking unarmed monks demonstrating peacefully on Tibet-related issues, I categorically deny that any similar feelings exist in any other context. I further deny that I spent a night in a Washington hotel with a one-thousand-dollars-per-hour prostitute called Kristen......... er.... oh, hang on - wrong forum... sorry."
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Old Mar 13th 2008, 12:24 pm
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Default Re: Muslim wedding joke - for Nottmbantam

Originally Posted by The Dean View Post
An official spokesman for The Dean has issued the following press release on his behalf:

"While it is true that Lionheart and I do see eye-to-eye on the issue of murderous unprincipled Chinese paramilitary forces attacking unarmed monks demonstrating peacefully on Tibet-related issues, I categorically deny that any similar feelings exist in any other context. I further deny that I spent a night in a Washington hotel with a one-thousand-dollars-per-hour prostitute called Kristen......... er.... oh, hang on - wrong forum... sorry."
You were robbed; Kristen's normal rate is US$500 unless you ask for the weekend special.
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