MOOOOO!

Old Apr 16th 2008, 10:24 am
  #1  
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Default MOOOOO!

SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.


A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.

LEBANON SYSTEM:
You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by the
government.

EGYPT SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Both vote for Mubarak.

DUBAI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a " Cow City " or "Milk Village " for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to re -sell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract media attention.

SHARJAH SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You sell them to an investor in Dubai. The cows get stuck in traffic between Sharjah to Dubai and die. You have zero cows now.

ABUDHABI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. So what? We have Oil.
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Old Apr 16th 2008, 10:29 am
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Default Re: MOOOOO!

You forgot..

IRISHISM
You own 2 cows, but as you are consistently too drunk to count, you think you own 14,816 cows.
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Old Apr 16th 2008, 10:32 am
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Default Re: MOOOOO!

Saudi
You have two cows, actually you dont, the royal family do.
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Old Apr 16th 2008, 12:23 pm
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Default Re: MOOOOO!

Class
Like it
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Old Apr 16th 2008, 4:33 pm
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Default Re: MOOOOO!

Irishism is wrong, that is in fact Scottishism.
The correct definition of Irishism is thus.

You have 2 cows. You think of a really good way of making money. Lets sell the milk from the cows. You then spend 12 weeks trying to learn how to milk them before realising you're trying to milk cat. You buy two more cows, Spend a further 8 weeks milking them and upon first sale of milk, get it returned because it's sour. Then you find you have actually bought 2 bulls....
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Old Apr 16th 2008, 5:36 pm
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Default Re: MOOOOO!

Some more


A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever
cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.
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Old Apr 16th 2008, 6:17 pm
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Default Re: MOOOOO!

Originally Posted by Coxy the Bear View Post
Irishism is wrong, that is in fact Scottishism.
The correct definition of Irishism is thus.

You have 2 cows. You think of a really good way of making money. Lets sell the milk from the cows. You then spend 12 weeks trying to learn how to milk them before realising you're trying to milk cat. You buy two more cows, Spend a further 8 weeks milking them and upon first sale of milk, get it returned because it's sour. Then you find you have actually bought 2 bulls....
I'm of Irish stock.
How could you possibly drink while trying to figure that lot out?

Wouldn't happen. We'd just stay in the pub instead and hope we can see the cows from there..
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Old Apr 16th 2008, 6:19 pm
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Default Re: MOOOOO!

Originally Posted by admon View Post
I'm of Irish stock.
How could you possibly drink while trying to figure that lot out?

Wouldn't happen. We'd just stay in the pub instead and hope we can see the cows from there..
Then try and hail one after mistaking it for a taxi!
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Old Apr 16th 2008, 6:21 pm
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Default Re: MOOOOO!

Originally Posted by Coxy the Bear View Post
Then try and hail one after mistaking it for a taxi!
Now thats quite likely...
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Old Apr 16th 2008, 6:22 pm
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Default Re: MOOOOO!

Originally Posted by admon View Post
Now thats quite likely...

'Now Michael, would ya look at that? From 20 feet away, I coulda sworn it was a Ford Mondeo'
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Old Apr 17th 2008, 6:21 am
  #11  
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Default Re: MOOOOO!

THE EU CORPORATION
You have 2 Cows which European tax payers bought for you. You put them on a truck and claim more taxpayers money every time they cross a border!
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Old Apr 17th 2008, 6:53 am
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Default Re: MOOOOO!

An alternative:

FRENCHISM
You have 2 cows.
You receive EU milk subsidies of €81million a year.
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Old Apr 17th 2008, 6:56 am
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Default Re: MOOOOO!

Originally Posted by admon View Post
An alternative:

FRENCHISM
You have 2 cows.
You receive EU milk subsidies of €81million a year.
and then make some smelly cheese with a poncy name that nobody else is allowed to use (unlike Cheddar) and get more subsidies for that!
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