Monogamy
 

Ok, there are loads of unwritten caveats, but assuming that we're talking about one man taking up one wife- forever, faithfully, he's got enough money and love, and it were to happen in a society that accepts it, would you or wouldn't you enter into a monogamous marriage?

I think I can predict the outcome for the fairer sex, but not sure about you blokes.

Re: Monogamy
 

lol @ the votes so far!

Re: Monogamy
 

Marriage is not a thing to be messed about with. If i get to that point again where i meet someone that i say i will marry then i will again be wholeheartedly faithful. but it will be interesting to see how this poll and the other 1 goes!!!!!

Re: Monogamy
 

Polygamy is actually the natural state of things and legal or not the most common form of relationship there is across cultures....

...agree or not that's how it is. If everyman were happily married there'd be a lot of miserable single women out there.

That said the inheritance issues alone would keep me busy until I'm 60 hehe.

N.

Re: Monogamy
 

Once you've got all your wild days out the way, all your shagging, and you find the right girl - aye, piece of piss.

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Where's the like button :)

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I prefer teak over monogamy any :)day.

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Not possible in my opinion and anyone who says yes is either fooling themselves our over estimating their own future faithfulness to some degree :blink:

Re: Monogamy
 

Lionheart the Second strikes again.

Re: Monogamy
 

I agree with Weasel...the whole concept of spending your life with one person that you chose in your late teens/early twenties cause you love them is ridiculous...you go through so many changes, your personalities are still developing etc...how can it ever work.
People stay faithfull because somehow that has become the norm, not because it's in their nature.

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I vote weasel. There are no guarantees in life.

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I love you...

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Everyone is different. My grandparents were together from age 17/18.

Lots of people still get married young and realise what you said.

Swings and roundabouts though, changing and developing as a person doesn't always mean bad news.

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anyone can stay married by simply not divorcing, but that doesn't mean that the marriage is working, but that is beside the point.

I think it's unrealistic to have to chose a partner for life when you are young and that you are meant to be with that person for the next 40 or 50 years.

and no, it's good that you develop cause it would be pretty sad if you stayed the way you were in your teens/twenties...although I do know a few guys that never got over that mental age.

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The old romantic in me says yes it is possible- noone ever said it would be easy and you have to work at a marriage to get you through the times where you want different things- its always about compromise.

However, I haven't met anyone that I feel I could do that with or would want to do that with -yet, note why I have never married. I like my life and not having to compromise and doing what I want when I want- selfish- yes, but at least Im being true to myself and not messing anyone about. If I met someone I absolutely adored and if they adored me then it might change my priorities and I might be prepared to change my lifestyle. At some point I would like to settle down and be with a life partner as its bloody hard work doing everything on your own! However it wouldn't surprise me if I don't.

The grass is always greener!

Re: Monogamy
 

in some ways I agree with your sentiment.

but it works for some, not all.

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The idea that a marriage should be based on love is a pretty modern one, and one that hasn't reached a lot of the world.

In any case, the average age people are marrying is rising, so it seems society agrees with you.

It would have been a disaster had I married when I was in my 20s. Just wasn't ready for it. That may be why I found it so hard to stay in a relationship back then :blink:

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There is always temptation in life, but one of the joys of being an adult is being able to choose as you wish.

Just because you can do something doesn't mean that you have to do it.

Re: Monogamy
 

:lol: yeah well its not pessimism its realism. There seems to be two ideas in this thread;

try to shag yourself silly then "settle" for one woman, lucky girl.

that (sexual) monogamy relates to being in love and sleeping with one person only, to the exclusivity of others

Re: Monogamy
 

Weasal- isn't there a teeny tiny bit of you that would like to grow old with one person who you cherish dearly and without makes your world feel empty, who makes you smile and laugh and makes your life feel better?

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In my experience the illusion of monogamy is essential to some people.

It doesnt change the reality of how people are, plenty of divorce, marraige break ups, women with kids from multiple partners, mistresses etc regardless of the aspirations of the people this is how it turns out for a lot of people.

Also I find the ones who shout the most about it are the ones protesting too much.

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I agree with you Weasal- but I would like to think it is possible to live happily ever after. Maybe the illusion is enough.

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Married 36 yrs, same person. Some good times, some average times, some really crap times. It's a 2 way street. Look out for each other, share common goals, laugh and cry together, some of the things that make it work. A short memory very important. See each others potential, encourage it. Amongst a lot of other advice, chance and character plays a part. In the end, multiple partners can bring baggage, give up too easily. Having said all that, the wrong partner can be hell, be honest, be brave, and move on.

Re: Monogamy
 

Life is some two to three times as long as when the concept of marriage was accepted in society, so that causes problems as people change over the years and these days everyone expects so much out of life, frequently without wanting to work at it.

I think expecting to marry in your 20s and still be happy with the same person some 40 years later is no longer a realistic expectation for many, but that is why so many have 'starter marriages' or several serious long-term relationships before marrying later in life (say late 30's or early 40's) when you are perhaps happy for a quieter stable life with one partner.

"Marriage is the result of the longing for the deep, deep peace of the double bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise-longue.”

There comes a time when you realise that a relationship is not about sex, but about companionship, love, support, friendship and other cosy sounding things. I hasten to add that the sex doesn't have to disappear, quite the contrary, but it's not the sole focus.

Re: Monogamy
 

Re: Monogamy
 

Everyone is different. There are people who don't get jealous, some who even like the idea of their partner sleeping with someone else. And there are others who cannot even stand to see their partner talking to someone more attractive than themselves.

I think the problem here is we are all trying to apply our own standards of what a "valid" relationship is onto others - or at least convince them this is the "right way".

There is no "right way"...the only issue in any relationship which concerns others is are all parties adults who have consented to be in that relationship and if children are involved are they being raised well in a loving environment. Beyond that it's not mine or your business if a woman has two men living with her or if one man has three wives or six boyfriends or none at all.

As for a "healthy" relationship - that's up to the people involved to talk honestly, and to respect each others feelings - not how many people are in the relationship.

N.

Re: Monogamy
 

Interesting...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/th.../2011/jun/06/1

Re: Monogamy
 

Never say never

Re: Monogamy
 

My gran and granddad were happily marriedfor 65 years. He said he still sW the feisty raven haired minx he married when he looked at her even though they bickered and wound each other up constantly. It was truly a relationship to admire.

My mum still adores my dad after 43 years - even though he's a miserable, mean spirited, grumpy and selish old toad. But hey, no accounting for taste.

I'd lve to think I'd could grow old with someone... I honestly don't know. I will say that cheating can be evil: I cheated during my first big relationship - met at 17, was with him for ten years, latterly had an affair for two years. I watched my boyfriend unravel when he found out, it was terrible. I was truly ashamed. I've been faithful when in serious relationships since, despite temptation.

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You're Lionheart's daughter!!!!:eek:

Err, is that comment bad timing?

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:rofl::rofl::rofl: