Men are just happier people...how true !
Apr 23rd 2008, 9:42 am
#1
Hammer for Life
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Too far away from Upton Park, for my liking !
Posts: 5,524
Men are just happier people...how true !
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura,
Kate and Sarah .
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other
as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even
though it's only for £32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they
want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite
foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura,
Kate and Sarah .
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other
as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even
though it's only for £32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they
want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite
foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Apr 23rd 2008, 9:46 am
#2
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 5,786
Re: Men are just happier people...how true !
Is the blood brothers comment a secret bond you and SE share?!
Apr 23rd 2008, 11:28 am
#3
A bubbly-jock...
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Teneriffe
Posts: 6,262
Re: Men are just happier people...how true !
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia, lost the war - haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide and borders are unpatrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like England, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.
After 70, she is like Scotland. Most everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 15 and 70 a man is like the USA - ruled by a dick.
Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia, lost the war - haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide and borders are unpatrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like England, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.
After 70, she is like Scotland. Most everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 15 and 70 a man is like the USA - ruled by a dick.
Apr 23rd 2008, 11:46 am
#4
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Duba, Saudi Arabia
Posts: 1,584
Apr 23rd 2008, 12:11 pm
#5
hmmmm...nice
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 27,923
Re: Men are just happier people...how true !
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia, lost the war - haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide and borders are unpatrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like England, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.
After 70, she is like Scotland. Most everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 15 and 70 a man is like the USA - ruled by a dick.
Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia, lost the war - haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide and borders are unpatrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like England, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.
After 70, she is like Scotland. Most everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 15 and 70 a man is like the USA - ruled by a dick.
very offensive...
Apr 23rd 2008, 12:22 pm
#9
Hammer for Life
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Too far away from Upton Park, for my liking !
Posts: 5,524
Re: Men are just happier people...how true !
My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the sametime our divorce started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year.
Yesterday afternoon, she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in Southern Tennessee because of bad weather. Thank God our kids were with me at the Beach House this weekend.
The NTSB issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error: Liz was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating) rating.
The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured.
The photographs below , taken at the scene ,show the extent of damage to her aircraft.
She was very lucky.
Yesterday afternoon, she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in Southern Tennessee because of bad weather. Thank God our kids were with me at the Beach House this weekend.
The NTSB issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error: Liz was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating) rating.
The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured.
The photographs below , taken at the scene ,show the extent of damage to her aircraft.
She was very lucky.
Apr 23rd 2008, 1:19 pm
#11
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: By the old canal...
Posts: 7,715
Apr 23rd 2008, 2:18 pm
#14
A bubbly-jock...
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Teneriffe
Posts: 6,262
Re: Men are just happier people...how true !
How To Shower - Men versus Women
Don't know how to embed video but here's a funny Youtube URL:
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/412867..._men_vs_women/
You need to read the subtitle as well and not get too engrossed in the video !
Don't know how to embed video but here's a funny Youtube URL:
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/412867..._men_vs_women/
You need to read the subtitle as well and not get too engrossed in the video !
Apr 23rd 2008, 2:24 pm
#15
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: By the old canal...
Posts: 7,715
Re: Men are just happier people...how true !
How To Shower - Men versus Women
Don't know how to embed video but here's a funny Youtube URL:
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/412867..._men_vs_women/
You need to read the subtitle as well and not get too engrossed in the video !
Don't know how to embed video but here's a funny Youtube URL:
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/412867..._men_vs_women/
You need to read the subtitle as well and not get too engrossed in the video !
That's hilarious..... but they left out "shave legs and armpits...using your husband's razor...." :curse::curse: