Roadking

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Charismatic

Mine + Shoeshop =



I'm just too soft, but she does make me happy .

Nic1

That is so nice. Do you have a teenage son ? only my daughter wants to marry you (for the shoes obviously . . . .)

Charismatic

I'm not married or old enough to have children.

I believe the expression is "whipped"?

Just to point out the above isn't actually her collection, she keeps hers in the original boxes (at least half of which have never been worn as far as I can see...she must be planning for the great shoe crisis of 2010) and she actually has more pairs as well (if thats possible to imagine). Maybe it's time to set up an import business...

Squirty Cream

My idea of absolute heaven!

lionheart

So you are less than 13 years old...

Charismatic

It's an illness squirty and I don't think more shoes are the answer.

I guess apart from her clothing thing and love of vineyard tours she runs a pretty tight ship really, much as I may complain. I mean she offers me a cup of tea and dinner when I get home, keeps a few beers in the fridge and runs the hoover round now and then. What more could a bloke want?

Charismatic

I'm only just 23 so even at 13 a child would be too young to marry (except in Afghanistan or Pakistan if it was to an 80 year old shepard).

I had never even had sex at 13 , should have started younger...all that year wasted.

Jacquie77

*Keels over in shoe-envy*

I am so showing that to dh to show him how it should be done!

Spugsy

Goog god, I managed a miracle by demanding that I get half of the wardrobe, if my missus had that I'd make her sleep in the maids room.

Jacquie77

Now there's a thought - my maid's room would make any excellent shoe cupboard.

The maid doesn't sleep there, I hasten to add.

nottmbantam

Big mistake - just showed that pic to Mrs Bantam,who now insists on having a room for all her shoes 'just like in that picture'.

Even bigger mistake - I asked why?

DaWarrior

I knew this woman who was a bombshell before going to bed. When I woke up to pee in the middle of the night, I thought she was Medusa...

I just smell a counter argument to this thread somewhere...

The Dean

.......... pee................ Medusa............... smell..................

I think you could be in trouble...............

Spugsy

are you saying you wouldn't want to wake up with MM?

Oh you're in trouble dude....