ME Academic career break
 

Hey there guys,

Following on from http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...59659&page=118.

@Millhouse: Precisely the reason why i'm careful where visa's are issued from :p lol! That rule wasnt only for the locals, maybe its the institute's rules. I actually studied with a lecturer who had come to do his PhD here, he recommended me and thats how i was approached. I didnt pursue the offer, thought it would be rude to show interest and decline, especially since i knew i would have that particular set back (i did tell them and they were set on their ways).

@tayls123: Not having a great time ey. Whereabouts in KSA are you located and have you been there a while now? Is it the social life thats affecting you or...? I personally would avoid Bahrain. I've browsed around and found some interesting opportunities in Abu Dubai, Qatar and Kuwait. I'll keep researching and keeping in mind what folks say on here before i apply for anything.

Another major concern is the whole safety aspect, any ladies on here who would like to share their views pls.

Re: ME Academic career break
 

East Coast...Jubail to be exact. bout an hour away from the causeway to bahrain. social life is none existant here and as far as i know, there are no single ladies in this place. if there are, there stuck indoors like the rest of us. i travel about for work and it gets better in the bigger cities, but i still wouldnt recommend it. i'd avoid kuwait as well. stick to abu dhabi, dubai. you can have a social life, date, go to concerts, cinema...eat pork...and drink as much as you want...you'll be able to drive (not after you drink obviously, or not unless your super sleuthy)...what more do ya want :P

Re: ME Academic career break
 

*crosses KSA off the list* lol

Sorry you're having such a bad experience. Have u not considered moving or a possible transfer? What are your colleagues like? Blimey u described a whole new world! I obviously desire a career break but dont think i can make such a hugh compromise in terms of social life. I agree Dubai and Abu Dubai are amazing places. I've been to both a few times and I prefer Abu Dubai (if i was to reside there) mainly because its a little quieter and relaxed.

Moving, ah its such a big decision, thats why i'm so stressed out.

Re: ME Academic career break
 

KSA is different to the rest of the middle east as its just dudes. like one massive schlong fest all year long. everywhere you go its men, men, men...so some of the normal social rules dont really apply here...everyone is grumpy, no one really talks to anyone else...just idle chit chat...the guys i work with are friendly but don't forget i see these same people 7 days a week...so we have to be friendly because there is no escaping each other. as for everyone else...they keep themselves to themselves...

at the end of the day everyone is here for the same reason: MONEY

isnt that why anyone does anything? i won't stay here for much longer...year or two max, then i'm off to anywhere else. i'm prepared to sacrifice my social life for X amount of money a month. plus im on 3 months off 2 weeks. 4 holidays a year aint bad :P there is numerous agencies and stuff out in abu dhabi and dubai who are only too helpful in finding westerners jobs. probably one of the best things you can do is just actually head out there. ask around, drop off CV's at agencies...if you actively pursue things in person you will get something, whoever browsing online or applying online...especially from abroad...you will find unsuccessful 99% of the time.

relax, your unversity degree (assuming you have one) will see you right...its worth about a hundred local ones so you already have a foot up...im sure you'll find what your looking for in no time...

Re: ME Academic career break
 

Good Morning a simple lass,
unfortunately most people have got it right as regards this place.
I was here over 20 years ago and really had a great time.There were loads of youngish brit engineers here and a good sprinkling of UK/ Irish, Scottish female nurses and teachers, in fact in Khobar there were apartment blocks full of them!! We also had an ex pat soccer league where there were 15 teams playing weekly. Sadly theses times have gone and it seems to me that all there is to do here is work, sleep and look forward to leave!!
I have worked in all the other places in the Gulf and apart from Kwait --which is not to bad theses days. At least restaurants are not segregated, women can drive and you can leave when you want to for some R and R.
I have 2 children who were born and brought up in Dubai who live there so I have a reason to escape. But even in their 30 years of expat live they recognize that things have changed.
To me this place has to change in the future as regards entry etc if they want it to become a major financial hub as in Financial City.
I am having a - when we - moment now !!! there were loads and loads of brit ex pats here years ago covering a whole wide range of activities and also the places were smaller so people were closer together. now you have the sp[rawling towns of Jubail, Yanbu, Princess Nora Uni that are way out of town so folks do not see each other. Also with security arrangements as they are because of recent events over the past years access to compounds and for sure where I am in the DQ is difficult. I personally have no issues as regards the drink, pork, bacon etc as i know that is going to happen and if there is any thing around then thats a bonus.
I have recently been introduced to a nice restaurant on the Romanzia compound where one can have the odd peck or two!!! Costly but as a break its ok. A small oasis in literally the desert.
There are places to visit here, but to be honest after a week at work in the desert the last place I need togo is , the desert to practice my 4 x 4 skills!!!

I may be painting a grim picture but thats how it is for me.
I work for local company where i am the only brit -- so there is no interaction at work. If you are in a company where there are loads of similar aged/ like minded/ brits then maybe it is different. Then there is the compound situation which is expensive. I was in The Arabian Homes Compound n Yanbu with the company paying 120,000.00 sar for a 1 bed apartment!!!
I get my head down. work, and luckily with cheap flights out of Riyadh can disappear weekends to use, Dubai, Oman or Sharm. BUT i am lucky as i have a multiple entry visa -- not everyone has that facility.

Well thats enough from me for now --I will disappear into my apartment in DQ and see what the day brings forth

Best Regards

Desertfox

Trev

Re: ME Academic career break
 

So i read your replies the day you posted and thought "Oh wow you gents really sound depressed!". Since i've been think and I actually envision you living there!

Tayls, as its that bad can you guys not organise events, football etc? Just as DesertFox described his experience years ago. Its just more interactive and helps time pass. Blimey, i'm glad you get 2 weeks off every 3 months!!

DesertFox, you describe a great change, for the worst! But luckily you do escape and rightly so. With your many years of experience you're able to draw a comparison and you really have given me a lot to think about.

I sincerely appreciate the realistic picture you've both painted (i'd rather know this then a pretend scenario of 'everythings fine'). I've never expected it to be that bad, but nor was i expecting it to be as 'fun' (i'm aware of the segregation issues etc). I dont want to end up insane, well not quite yet lol and yes even though the move is motivated by a career break and money, its not just about money though. I wont have family with me, i dont know anyone in the ME and so the whole being independently alone issue is something i can cope with provided its not as described by Tayls. I'm moreso desperate to get onto the career ladder (in my field). If good money is made then obviously thats great but compromising social life (to that extreme) for money will eventually drive me potty.

I've been reading about the academic institutes in the ME and it has come to my attention that some exist with professionals possessing 'fake' qualifications. So i certainly will do my homework before applying anywhere. I just feel stuck in terms of not progressing, yes i do pressure myself but its only like you all, i too desire professional achievement.

Would you be able to provide any insight into safety for females there? Is harassment a big issue?

Re: ME Academic career break
 

im not depressed, i just miss socialising with people, and im sick of stupid as shit engineers being on twice as much money as me out here for doing half as much work. KSA is a different story to the rest of the middle east and im afraid your painting the whole middle east with the same brush.

if you go to abu dhabi/dubai/doha/bahrain...i dare say you will see your social life IMPROVE. there's always events, cinemas, bowling, ice rink, ski slopes, dolphinariums, concerts, F1 grand prix's..etc etc going on somewhere. theres events at the embassy so you can socialise with other brits...but its so so easy to meet people everyday anyway. your circle of friends will grow as long as your not closed minded and end up being one of these expats that refuses to mix with people that don't have milky bar white skin...

Safety issue? its like anywhere else...it has some problems but where doesnt...as long as you have half an ounce of street smarts you'll be fine i.e. don't get into a strangers car if he offers to show you the desert etc... i know plenty of women over there and as long as your confident enough to shout **** off...you'll be fine :P

Re: ME Academic career break
 

Hi Simplelass,

Sorry I am confused by your threads, are you looking at taking a career break or looking for a first job from college?

And don't get stressed about moving, if your stressing deciding where to go then you'll find moving here an absolute nightmare- chilled out is the approach to take to moving here. I would say by your comments (as you have a lack of knowledge about the region)you do not have a history with the region so if you still researching where to go then can I ask why you are drawn to the middle east? There are so many amazing places that you could go to, and for a girl that comes across as quite young I wonder if this would be the place for you. As a single woman you have to be stong to live here, especially not knowing anyone, it can be a hard place when you are on your own so i would consider other places other than just the middle east if I were you.

Kittycat
x

Re: ME Academic career break
 

its a hard place to be? really?? can you clarify that statement?

Re: ME Academic career break
 

Tayls,

Single woman on your own, it can be a lonely place, its a lot easier if you are in a couple or at least know someone living here. My first year here was horrific I turned into an emotional wreck, I've never felt so vulnerable in my life- I am not really a crier but I spent several months crying every night and if I had been offered a flight home I would have been on the first plane out of here- and I am a proactive positive person. Women use their friends and family as a support system, being away from them and having noone is bloody hard. I'm glad I got through it and have no regrets at all, but I had several months of being truly miserable and depressed here. I now have some amazing friends who keep me sane but that first period was incredibly tough.

Going to a bar on your own you either get approached and asked how much you are or hassled by twats, something I would never have been intimidated in doing before in the UK, whereas here I avoid it. It is a mans world here and I am sure everyone has different experiences but I found it tough when I arrived. Just read expat flange, you regularly see posts from single women who are lonely and finding it incredibly hard, and many single women who I have met here say exactly the same. I am far from a shrinking violet and I dred to think how you would cope if you are not an outgoing, positive individual.

Re: ME Academic career break
 

there's your problem right there though, you went to a bar on your own...in a strange country...of course your going to get hassled...no doubt if as a british woman you rocked up in a bar in...lets say Sao Paulo...you would find the same sort of reaction...far too many expats come here believing they are going to live this champagne brunch lifestyle that they read about...unless you get yourself actively involved of course your not going to meet people or the people you meet are going to be the assh*les i read about on a daily basis who get deported for ****ing on a public beach and calling the policeman a muslim ***** (don't believe everything you read, she was far from innocent). i've been lucky enough to have basically the same core group of friends for 15 years now...but people have come and gone...i've met people through work, i've met people while shopping...i've talked to people while standing in line...unless your local, everyone is an expat...and chances are...you;ve had the same experiences...so why not talk to someone. i've introduced people from work who are new to the country to other people and not necessarily stayed close with them only to run into the same people months later to find we have common friends now. Dubai, for all of its glitz and glamour, is not a huge place by any means...6 degree's of seperation...well in dubai its probably closer to 3. i can trace anyone back to someone i know. Far too many people come to dubai with the intention of getting in, getting rich and getting out...what you forget is that its home to a lot of people...i know british families in there 2nd and 3rd generation over there...these arent the people you'll see propping up the bar at barasti or lounging by the pool in some hotel...they are the day in and day outers of dubai...if you make the effort, meet the right people...it really is a fanstatic place...if you choose to be a part of this 2000's version of the yuppie...you'll live a very secluded life...where you think dubai starts at beach road and ends at the marina...

thats my 2 cents anyway...

Re: ME Academic career break
 

err I should point out I did more than go to a bar and anyway I have always found bars to be a good place to meeting people- whereever I have travelled when I have felt the need to speak to someone other than myself a bar is normally a safe option- and I have been outside of the UK before thanks very much. I just didn't expect men to come up to you and ask you how much for a night- especially when Im wearing jeans and flip flops.

I made a real effort to meet people and did so- eventually, my work place is not a sociable place (mostly married women who go home to their families and children straight from work) so for me that was not an option, and I didn't rock up to a brunch expecting champagne, in fact I could count on one hand how many brunches I have been to in two and a half years

Like I said everyone has different experiences, mine has obviously been different to yours, if you want to pull me apart and tell me I did it wrong then thanks a bunch but she asked for different peoples persepctives.

Arsehole

Re: ME Academic career break
 

where in that did i attack you personally?? did i say you hadnt been out of the UK? i said you could probably expect (i don't know for sure) the same sort of treatment in a few places, its not just limited to dubai. so am i an arsehole? probably....but at least i didnt spend 7 months crying myself to sleep because i couldnt hack it in the real world. grow the ***** up.

Re: ME Academic career break
 

You should have broken your paragraph if the rest wasnt aimed at me

and I stand by my statement- arsehole

Re: ME Academic career break
 

none of it was aimed at you?? i was merely offering a explanation why as a single woman you might of been hassled in a bar doesnt nessacarily reflect badly on dubai as it happens in many places throughout the world...

but sorry i didn't realise this was a forum for british expats and the nazi grammar police.

and i stand by my statement: grow the **** up.