Dubaiexile

Trying to get off the Metro when all you are met by is a surge of stinking humanity trying to get on, who have no concept at all........***k me I need a break!!!
And why oh why do they have overhead straps...summer time = thousand of exposed unwashed armpits...yep definitely need a break!!!!!!!

Tockalosh

Don't believe that because you have finally become immune to the bacteria present on food cooked in India and can happily eat from road side vendors without even a fart later;
That you can happily consume food in Egypt.
You can't
Hence posting at 5 to 4 in the morning whilst clinging to the loo

shiva

getting a piece of paperwork from the police or any government department.

As exercise in patience and self control

eg my mrs lost the diamond from her engagement ring a few weeks ago. it has taken 5 visits to different police stations, 4 weeks to do and culminated in my return to the original one where I spent 3 hours talking to over 20 different people in over 6 offices ( I lost count tbh) to eventually get three lines typed on a piece of paper hopefully stating that the loss was reported to the police ( i get it translated today!) .

Probably the single most painful thing I have ever had to do here. At one point I offered to write it myself for them to stamp when one guy couldn't use his pc.

the life lesson is either don't bother or make sure you have reached a state of nirvana before attempting to do the above.

Yoohoo

Geez you must like your Mrs.....

Irishbeekeeper

ha! i think this ranks the highest in the to be learned life skills for living here!
one of my office boys left his wallet on an ATM machine by mistake and came back after 5 minutes to find it gone, immediately went to the bank security people who plainly said we cant do anything, ask the police to come in and look at our cameras
next day visit to the police station started a nightmare of bureaucracy!!! this paper, that copy, partner's sign, partner should be here, why did he leave the wallet?, translate your application in swahili! why? because we said so? so you got it translated it in swahili? now do it in mandarin! the fonts all wrong! do it again in arabic now! FFS!

do you know they all KNOW they are ***ing you around and they all KNOW how to speak in English, they just deliberately *** with you.....fact!
3rd day a uniformed guy had pity on me, took me aside and said, look, no one is going to go look at those cameras, just tell your boy to apply for the ID card again, coz that was the only thing that was of importance honestly speaking
bleah! this should have been in the venting thread!

shiva

that and I now have several months worth of brownie points to abuse at my leisure

scrubbedexpat141

SMART.

Irishbeekeeper

err...months? no...days...yes!
the doghouse awaits us all my friend, sad fact of life

shiva

I'll eek them out and she herself visited the cop shop once before giving up in disgust. she also sat around the pool the other day while i sweated my nuts off in various stinky portacabins in hatta police hq. i've got months from this little escapade

Irishbeekeeper

bloody ell! making the rest of us look bad!!

scot47

Explaining to newbies that things in the Middle East are not the same as in Neasden.

co durham boy

Using the term "Go straight then U-turn and take backside Spinneys " and realising it's better and quicker than a sat-nav !

scrubbedexpat141

Boomhauer

One needs to be able to compartmentalize their thoughts/feelings, cause otherwise too much sh%t will get to you , such that it interferes with work/home life negatively.